AQA A2 History Coursework Help (Please!)

Watch this thread
FakieJakey
Badges: 1
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Greetings to the unfortunate individual that reads this!

Here I've posted my essay in the hopes that someone will critically analyse it in the hopes that I can make it absolutely superb with their feedback.

I've posted one of these before, where I was told I was taking a too chronological approach and that a thematic approach would be better suited to make the higher bands. So here's an improved version (don't worry, it hasn't hit the 3500 word mark yet!)

Though it is incomplete, I just want to know if I'm heading down the right tracks. :cool:

If anyone does not have word then I am more than happy to paste the essay as a comment.

Thank you!

Jake
0
reply
Letimus97
Badges: 3
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 7 years ago
#2
you have just posted nothing more than a paragraph..
0
reply
FakieJakey
Badges: 1
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#3
"Though it is incomplete" [1]

1 FakieJakey, 2015: Post 1
0
reply
Letimus97
Badges: 3
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#4
Report 7 years ago
#4
this is is due in very soon why have you made it so incomplete
0
reply
FakieJakey
Badges: 1
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#5
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#5
This is one of many complete drafts.
0
reply
Letimus97
Badges: 3
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#6
Report 7 years ago
#6
why not just post the whole thing
0
reply
Sixteeen
Badges: 2
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#7
Report 7 years ago
#7
There are a couple of grammatical issues - I've highlighted the corrections in italics - 'In assessing what was the greatest change in warfare, the war and social environment prior to the period must be addressed. Geoffrey Wawro argues that armies within the limited warfare context “lacked the mobility and man power to destroy.'

Maybe provide a conflicting historical criticism?
0
reply
FakieJakey
Badges: 1
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#8
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#8
(Original post by Sixteeen)
There are a couple of grammatical issues - I've highlighted the corrections in italics - 'In assessing what was the greatest change in warfare, the war and social environment prior to the period must be addressed. Geoffrey Wawro argues that armies within the limited warfare context “lacked the mobility and man power to destroy.'

Maybe provide a conflicting historical criticism?

Sorry for the late reply, I appreciate that you read it!

May I ask, though you may not know the subject content at all (or may do!) is the structure and argument analytical/ evaluative enough? Any recommendations if not, barre the conflicting historical opinion; which I will put in.

Thanks again!
0
reply
Sixteeen
Badges: 2
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#9
Report 7 years ago
#9
(Original post by FakieJakey)
Sorry for the late reply, I appreciate that you read it!

May I ask, though you may not know the subject content at all (or may do!) is the structure and argument analytical/ evaluative enough? Any recommendations if not, barre the conflicting historical opinion; which I will put in.

Thanks again!
No problem I don't know the subject matter very well but you haven't really written enough for me to judge whether or not it's evaluative, I'm afraid! Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How did your AQA A-level Psychology Paper 1 go?

Loved the paper - Feeling positive (269)
42.3%
The paper was reasonable (262)
41.19%
Not feeling great about that exam... (58)
9.12%
It was TERRIBLE (47)
7.39%

Watched Threads

View All