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AQA A2 History Coursework Help (Please!)
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FakieJakey
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Greetings to the unfortunate individual that reads this!
Here I've posted my essay in the hopes that someone will critically analyse it in the hopes that I can make it absolutely superb with their feedback.
I've posted one of these before, where I was told I was taking a too chronological approach and that a thematic approach would be better suited to make the higher bands. So here's an improved version (don't worry, it hasn't hit the 3500 word mark yet!)
Though it is incomplete, I just want to know if I'm heading down the right tracks.
If anyone does not have word then I am more than happy to paste the essay as a comment.
Thank you!
Jake
Here I've posted my essay in the hopes that someone will critically analyse it in the hopes that I can make it absolutely superb with their feedback.
I've posted one of these before, where I was told I was taking a too chronological approach and that a thematic approach would be better suited to make the higher bands. So here's an improved version (don't worry, it hasn't hit the 3500 word mark yet!)
Though it is incomplete, I just want to know if I'm heading down the right tracks.
If anyone does not have word then I am more than happy to paste the essay as a comment.
Thank you!
Jake
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Letimus97
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FakieJakey
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Letimus97
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FakieJakey
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Letimus97
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Sixteeen
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There are a couple of grammatical issues - I've highlighted the corrections in italics - 'In assessing what was the greatest change in warfare, the war and social environment prior to the period must be addressed. Geoffrey Wawro argues that armies within the limited warfare context “lacked the mobility and man power to destroy.'
Maybe provide a conflicting historical criticism?
Maybe provide a conflicting historical criticism?
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FakieJakey
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(Original post by Sixteeen)
There are a couple of grammatical issues - I've highlighted the corrections in italics - 'In assessing what was the greatest change in warfare, the war and social environment prior to the period must be addressed. Geoffrey Wawro argues that armies within the limited warfare context “lacked the mobility and man power to destroy.'
Maybe provide a conflicting historical criticism?
There are a couple of grammatical issues - I've highlighted the corrections in italics - 'In assessing what was the greatest change in warfare, the war and social environment prior to the period must be addressed. Geoffrey Wawro argues that armies within the limited warfare context “lacked the mobility and man power to destroy.'
Maybe provide a conflicting historical criticism?
Sorry for the late reply, I appreciate that you read it!
May I ask, though you may not know the subject content at all (or may do!) is the structure and argument analytical/ evaluative enough? Any recommendations if not, barre the conflicting historical opinion; which I will put in.
Thanks again!
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Sixteeen
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#9
(Original post by FakieJakey)
Sorry for the late reply, I appreciate that you read it!
May I ask, though you may not know the subject content at all (or may do!) is the structure and argument analytical/ evaluative enough? Any recommendations if not, barre the conflicting historical opinion; which I will put in.
Thanks again!
Sorry for the late reply, I appreciate that you read it!
May I ask, though you may not know the subject content at all (or may do!) is the structure and argument analytical/ evaluative enough? Any recommendations if not, barre the conflicting historical opinion; which I will put in.
Thanks again!
I don't know the subject matter very well but you haven't really written enough for me to judge whether or not it's evaluative, I'm afraid! Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
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