The Student Room Group

Why do women need constant communication/feedback?

I have noticed that women need a lot more communication and all sorts of constant feedback in a relationship than men do. They want to talk a lot more, they need compliments and to be told they are loved a lot more than men do. And anniversaries, they remember every freaking one of them then get upset if the guy forgets or doesn't care. I've rarely heard a guy (if ever) complain about any of these things. Oh and let's not forget ''sulking'' ! Go to any women's forum and it's one of the biggest complaints, almost as bad as physical violence! They think it's a punishment forged in the deepest pits of hell! Yet once again, I've never heard a guy complain about it... Can anyone figure any of this out? Why do women need this constant relationship reinforcement and communication while men seem to rarely ever bother with it?
Original post by supercilious1
I have noticed that women need a lot more communication and all sorts of constant feedback in a relationship than men do. They want to talk a lot more, they need compliments and to be told they are loved a lot more than men do. And anniversaries, they remember every freaking one of them then get upset if the guy forgets or doesn't care. I've rarely heard a guy (if ever) complain about any of these things. Oh and let's not forget ''sulking'' ! Go to any women's forum and it's one of the biggest complaints, almost as bad as physical violence! They think it's a punishment forged in the deepest pits of hell! Yet once again, I've never heard a guy complain about it... Can anyone figure any of this out? Why do women need this constant relationship reinforcement and communication while men seem to rarely ever bother with it?


There are some who are different and straightforward. Many will kill you with their 'hell hath no fury' style and constant hypersensitivity and volatility, and manipulation. Everything Germaine Greer wrote was right. They are like they are castrated, will stir your life up, harm men's endeavours and productivity, reduce everything to it's lowest, basest, most objectifying principles, hold everything back, need constant validation, screw you up with fake esteem, manipulate, use for money etc. The different ones are gems but most are pathetic, the amount of circuitous stupid interactions I've been through where it was initially on the basis we both wanted sex, only to be subject to their offence and particularities, largely those of a babied and spoilt child, is ludicrous. It's all overlayed with an implicit condescension which takes as a given their relative 'maturity'.

Booyah.

Rep that people.
Because they're really annoying and a huge pain in the neck. A relationship brings way too much headache, the only good that comes out of it is regular sex. This is why I'm against relationships (unless it's the only way to get sex). It's in a woman's nature to constantly nag and moan, they like to do that. Really annoying.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by OMGsideboob
Because they're really annoying and a huge pain in the neck. A relationship brings way too much headache, the only good that comes out of it is regular sex. This is why I'm against relationships (unless it's the only way to get sex). It's in a woman's nature to constantly nag and moan, they like to do that. Really annoying.

Posted from TSR Mobile


Solidarity. We must endure this together comrades.
Original post by supercilious1
I have noticed that women need a lot more communication and all sorts of constant feedback in a relationship than men do. They want to talk a lot more, they need compliments and to be told they are loved a lot more than men do. And anniversaries, they remember every freaking one of them then get upset if the guy forgets or doesn't care. I've rarely heard a guy (if ever) complain about any of these things. Oh and let's not forget ''sulking'' ! Go to any women's forum and it's one of the biggest complaints, almost as bad as physical violence! They think it's a punishment forged in the deepest pits of hell! Yet once again, I've never heard a guy complain about it... Can anyone figure any of this out? Why do women need this constant relationship reinforcement and communication while men seem to rarely ever bother with it?


I talk less, I'm happy to just chill and I'm more likely to keep my problems to myself than share them. I don't need to be told I'm loved often, as long as they show they do/aren't a bastard. I like compliments though :biggrin: I do remember important dates, it's not that hard to put it in your phone calendar tbf but I wouldn't think someone didn't care if they forgot. I don't sulk because life's too short. If I'm not happy I say why and then either send him on his way or talk to him.

Stop chatting bull****.
Original post by Anonymous
There are some who are different and straightforward. Many will kill you with their 'hell hath no fury' style and constant hypersensitivity and volatility, and manipulation. Everything Germaine Greer wrote was right. They are like they are castrated, will stir your life up, harm men's endeavours and productivity, reduce everything to it's lowest, basest, most objectifying principles, hold everything back, need constant validation, screw you up with fake esteem, manipulate, use for money etc. The different ones are gems but most are pathetic, the amount of circuitous stupid interactions I've been through where it was initially on the basis we both wanted sex, only to be subject to their offence and particularities, largely those of a babied and spoilt child, is ludicrous. It's all overlayed with an implicit condescension which takes as a given their relative 'maturity'.

Booyah.

Rep that people.

wtf
If you both find women annoying and only tolerate them for sex, why not have sex with each other? That way you don't get any "terrible" women in the way :smile:

Posted from outer space
Original post by CherryWine
I talk less, I'm happy to just chill and I'm more likely to keep my problems to myself than share them. I don't need to be told I'm loved often, as long as they show they do/aren't a bastard. I like compliments though :biggrin: I do remember important dates, it's not that hard to put it in your phone calendar tbf but I wouldn't think someone didn't care if they forgot. I don't sulk because life's too short. If I'm not happy I say why and then either send him on his way or talk to him.

Stop chatting bull****.


So you do fit some of the criteria. But anyway, I wasn't talking about you or anyone in particular, just as an average : women seem to act very differently and have more expectations than the guys in a relationship. They micromanage everything. My question was why are the genders so different in relationships, in general?
I literally couldn't care less about 'feedback', unless it's something bad that I need to change. Good job generalising and making yourself look like a whiny bitch. I imagine being in a relationship with you is just like the women you're describing.
Original post by Anonymous
There are some who are different and straightforward. Many will kill you with their 'hell hath no fury' style and constant hypersensitivity and volatility, and manipulation. Everything Germaine Greer wrote was right. They are like they are castrated, will stir your life up, harm men's endeavours and productivity, reduce everything to it's lowest, basest, most objectifying principles, hold everything back, need constant validation, screw you up with fake esteem, manipulate, use for money etc. The different ones are gems but most are pathetic, the amount of circuitous stupid interactions I've been through where it was initially on the basis we both wanted sex, only to be subject to their offence and particularities, largely those of a babied and spoilt child, is ludicrous. It's all overlayed with an implicit condescension which takes as a given their relative 'maturity'.

Booyah.

Rep that people.



Have you ever experienced real life? I mean, there's being annoying at girls because of previous (bad) experiences, and then there's being incredibly misogynistic. I think you need to find some new female friends, because I've never met anyone that would fit your description.
Original post by supercilious1
So you do fit some of the criteria. But anyway, I wasn't talking about you or anyone in particular, just as an average : women seem to act very differently and have more expectations than the guys in a relationship. They micromanage everything. My question was why are the genders so different in relationships, in general?


I know you weren't talking about anyone in particular, but I'd thought I'd say how different I am from your criteria because you can't generalise like that. Everybody probably fits some of the criteria, gender really doesn't come into it - I've known guys who talk for England and get uncomfortable when it's quiet and also guys who have been upset that their partner has forgotten their birthday, and I've known women to do the same. Your question should literally be "why is everybody different?"
Original post by exmachinadeus
I literally couldn't care less about 'feedback', unless it's something bad that I need to change. Good job generalising and making yourself look like a whiny bitch. I imagine being in a relationship with you is just like the women you're describing.


Do you like talking though? Have you noticed how most women love talking so much about nothing? People they know, celebrities, whatever meaningless crap happened to them that week... This is why ''men don't listen'', we don't care about ''feels'' and your friend being pregnant . We just want the facts and as short as possible. And the way they post online, women can make write an OP the size of a Tolstoi novel about what happened to them yesterday. If a guy makes a huge OP it will be about a complex subject and/or he will add cliffs at the end. Why are they so obsessed with details and micromanaging everything?
Reply 12
Original post by supercilious1
I have noticed that women need a lot more communication and all sorts of constant feedback in a relationship than men do. They want to talk a lot more, they need compliments and to be told they are loved a lot more than men do. And anniversaries, they remember every freaking one of them then get upset if the guy forgets or doesn't care. I've rarely heard a guy (if ever) complain about any of these things. Oh and let's not forget ''sulking'' ! Go to any women's forum and it's one of the biggest complaints, almost as bad as physical violence! They think it's a punishment forged in the deepest pits of hell! Yet once again, I've never heard a guy complain about it... Can anyone figure any of this out? Why do women need this constant relationship reinforcement and communication while men seem to rarely ever bother with it?


Hello,
This is badly true threat you have post here, women always being so demanding in every manner. :cool:
Both my exes (men) were the ones who wanted more attention and always misinterpreted my reactions and got all upset and in a tizzy bless them.
Original post by CherryWine
I know you weren't talking about anyone in particular, but I'd thought I'd say how different I am from your criteria because you can't generalise like that. Everybody probably fits some of the criteria, gender really doesn't come into it - I've known guys who talk for England and get uncomfortable when it's quiet and also guys who have been upset that their partner has forgotten their birthday, and I've known women to do the same. Your question should literally be "why is everybody different?"


Have you ever seen groups of men and women and how they communicate? The men almost always do something other than just talk. They play video games, play or watch sports, pool, poker etc. Women can literally sit there with a cuppa for 2 days and talk, talk, talk without needing to do anything else. The way they talk is also different : women mostly talk about other people they know, feelings and so on while guys talk about facts and concepts. If they are talking about a celebrity women will talk about that person's private life while men will talk about the goal he scored vs Utd last night while not giving a flying **** about his private issues. Or how women are much ''kinder'' to their friends, never telling them what they really think about them and complimenting them even though they don't deserve it? Guys are much more harsh and honest, even with their friends. And another thing I noticed living as an expat for many years and meeting many other expats : women are far, far more likely to be home sick and miss family/friends plus everything that was familiar to them.

This happens 9 out of 10 times. It is obviously gender related. Yeah, men and women are different.
Original post by supercilious1
Have you ever seen groups of men and women and how they communicate? The men almost always do something other than just talk. They play video games, play or watch sports, pool, poker etc. Women can literally sit there with a cuppa for 2 days and talk, talk, talk without needing to do anything else. The way they talk is also different : women mostly talk about other people they know, feelings and so on while guys talk about facts and concepts. If they are talking about a celebrity women will talk about that person's private life while men will talk about the goal he scored vs Utd last night while not giving a flying **** about his private issues. Or how women are much ''kinder'' to their friends, never telling them what they really think about them and complimenting them even though they don't deserve it? Guys are much more harsh and honest, even with their friends. And another thing I noticed living as an expat for many years and meeting many other expats : women are far, far more likely to be home sick and miss family/friends plus everything that was familiar to them.

This happens 9 out of 10 times. It is obviously gender related. Yeah, men and women are different.


It is so obviously not gender related though. For every male that sits down, plays a video game and talks about facts and concepts, there is a female doing the same. The same can be applied to the other observations in your post that supposedly makes males and females different. If women only talk to women in a certain way, and males only talk to other males in a certain way, then what happens when males and females talk? Are they silent and confused about how to converse with the opposite sex in the appropriate manner? Once again, it has nothing to do with gender, everybody is different.
(edited 9 years ago)
I literally couldn't care less about celebrities, or anything else totally meaningless like that. The furthest I would go is probably talking about music of films we both have a mutual appreciation for. I don't really care who's pregnant, I wouldn't try to organise or dictate anyone's life.
I much prefer a deep and meaningful discuss, or to talk about politics, current affairs etc.
And details are details for a reason, they're the bit that doesn't matter and that no one cares about.
I'm nothing like the people the OP mentioned. I did date someone who was. It is rather annoying having someone who wants to talk all the time. And it appeared to just be for the sake of it, rather than actually, you know, having something to actually discuss.
Original post by supercilious1
I have noticed that women need a lot more communication and all sorts of constant feedback in a relationship than men do. They want to talk a lot more, they need compliments and to be told they are loved a lot more than men do. And anniversaries, they remember every freaking one of them then get upset if the guy forgets or doesn't care. I've rarely heard a guy (if ever) complain about any of these things. Oh and let's not forget ''sulking'' ! Go to any women's forum and it's one of the biggest complaints, almost as bad as physical violence! They think it's a punishment forged in the deepest pits of hell! Yet once again, I've never heard a guy complain about it... Can anyone figure any of this out? Why do women need this constant relationship reinforcement and communication while men seem to rarely ever bother with it?


Oh my god that's so horribly misogynistic!!! How dare you?!?!? Women are people, like you, who want to be paid attention to in a relationship, because thats usual what it entails? They want to feel like you actually care enough to remember dates, how is it asking so much for a ****ing date to be remembered. Society has bred women to be insecure from when we're young enough to play with skinny white barbie dolls, to reading magazines about losing weight and tanning. Guys play with tough masculine dolls and are told to hide their feelings, and I think this plays a big part in your complete stereotypes.

ALL relationships need communication!!! Women dont need more than men, they just need a healthy stream of communication. To know what your partner is thinking about, is just a part of being with someone on an intimate level
It seems to me you don't understand what it means to be in a relationship where you consider both of you are on equal ground, and have the same rights to sulk if you're upset (i can imagine any girlfriend of yours, who is criticized for "communicating too much", wants you to remember important relationship dates, and is ignored but shouldn't complain about it would be sulking 24/7).

Women are not some other specie to be understood, they are people, just like you, and have the right to act in their own human way to everything that happens. Literally everything you have listed here is normal for a relationship. And all of this stuff changes with the partners in the relationship, their levels of self confidence, their coping mechanisms, their needs.
Original post by supercilious1
Have you ever seen groups of men and women and how they communicate? The men almost always do something other than just talk. They play video games, play or watch sports, pool, poker etc. Women can literally sit there with a cuppa for 2 days and talk, talk, talk without needing to do anything else. The way they talk is also different : women mostly talk about other people they know, feelings and so on while guys talk about facts and concepts. If they are talking about a celebrity women will talk about that person's private life while men will talk about the goal he scored vs Utd last night while not giving a flying **** about his private issues. Or how women are much ''kinder'' to their friends, never telling them what they really think about them and complimenting them even though they don't deserve it? Guys are much more harsh and honest, even with their friends. And another thing I noticed living as an expat for many years and meeting many other expats : women are far, far more likely to be home sick and miss family/friends plus everything that was familiar to them.

This happens 9 out of 10 times. It is obviously gender related. Yeah, men and women are different.


As someone who has moved around frequently and doesn't really consider anywhere home the homesickness bit is irrelevant to me.

And there is nothing I find more vacuous than the discussion of celebrities. If I am going to sit down with someone for an extended period it will be to discuss something that is a stimulating. There is so much happening in the world right now, who is talking about celebrities?

And personally when I sit down with a group of female friends those are the things we talk about, not babies, or knitting, or cupcakes, or whatever other dumb ideas you have in your head.

And lastly, human beings are utterly dependant on communication. It is invaluable.

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