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Very odd friend

A friend of mine, is very strange. She is fine whilst sober, but when she gets drunk she is just unbearable.

Tonight for example, we were drinking (as it was her b/day), anyway we went clubbing as the bar shut. After clubbing we decided to head back.

After waiting 30 minutes for her to get out the club, I was then faced with her saying stuff like "Go home, I don't need you to walk me home". She was absoltuely hammered, and as a mate I felt that it was my duty to walk her home. I kept on saying to her "Look, as a mate I want you to get back ok. Otherwise you have to walk back alone, and your not in a good state at the mo". She kept saying "no, I want to walk back by myself."....Anyway, after arsing around for 15 minutes trying to convince her that she should walk back with me, she started to push me and stuff. She started to accuse me of thinking that she was a psycho. I was like "No, I don't think that, your just a bit drunk at the moment...i never called you that". Preceeding this, a few drunk girls walk past, and saw us arguing, one shouted "pervert", the other came over and was like "whats going on here"...I told her what was happening, she was then like to her mates "he is a nice guy"; her mate didn't care and just started calling me a perv.

Anyway, eventually we got some food. I walked her back safely to her flat, and I got back ok. Now, however I am beginning to doubt my friendship; I am starting to feel as though after tonight that I wanna distance myself from her. I am feeling very embarassed about tonight, and plus in addition every time I end up hanging out with her drinking; it always ends up the same way.

She seems to crazy for me - I am quite a reserved character.

What do you think I should do?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

have you ever told her while she was sober that she gets like this when drunk? if you havent... you should... and if you have what did she say?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

have you ever told her while she was sober that she gets like this when drunk? if you havent... you should... and if you have what did she say?

I have. I said "yeah when you get drunk, you go a bit hyper". She agrees, but its the same old story when she get drunk again.

She has a rep for her crazyness with a lot of people, and unfortunantly it has put a lot of people off.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

hmm maybe you have to be a bit more specific than "hyper". because hyper is bouncy! not pushing you and making accusations like that.
its very nice of you as a mate to look after her. she really should be more considerate to your feelings but i dont think she will change really. she most likely sees going out getting drunk as something fun that isnt gonna get changed as you said she has a rep for craziness already but evidently isnt going to do anything about it.
if you feel uncomfortable, there is nothing wrong with distancing yourself away from her gradually. it will help in the long run as you wont keep ending up being in the same situation. also it may show her that she cant treat you like that.

Reply 4

pritnep

Agreed with Anon 2 it doesn't exactly look like she is going to change, besides you having a word which you have already done. But looking at it from her point of view she probably feels that’s her and she isn't going to change.

Maybe before you go out drinking or clubbing first of all make sure you go with other friends and maybe tell her before she drinks to much that you will organise a taxi home for her at a certain time or that you would like to leave or for her to slow down etc. But either way good on you for looking out for your friend and helping her home. Whether she admits it or not she is appreciative for that.

Reply 5

ßlαcksωαn

17

Well to me she sounds like a pretty normal drunk. I have a few mates that get like that when they are drunk, and I know I have done the same in the past. They get stubborn and don't like to be told what to do, and can take little things as in insult. You should tell her how she treats you when she is in a sober state. I'm sure she doesn't mean half the stuff she says when she is drunk. If it's that much of a problem for you, you shouldn't go out drinking with her anymore. You'll only end up getting hurt if you do. Good Luck :smile:

Reply 6

anjurdsg

11

get her super drunk until she cant talk

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

anjurdsg

get her super drunk until she cant talk

lol, she was super drunk last night. Was quite bad, as she was finding it extremely difficult to talk. I was very drunk myself (as I had drunk the same amounts of alcohol), but I could handle the alcohol a lot better.

Reply 8

squigaletta

If you're planning on distancing yourself anyway I suggest you tell her sraight out why. Say you can't take it when she's drunk coz she's just too difficult. Hopefully that will give her the wake up call she needs that drinking and being drunk isn't as awsome as she thinks. It may be that she just gets pissed off at you, but if you were distancing yourself in the first place it will make it easier anyway.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

blackswan

Well to me she sounds like a pretty normal drunk. I have a few mates that get like that when they are drunk, and I know I have done the same in the past. They get stubborn and don't like to be told what to do, and can take little things as in insult. You should tell her how she treats you when she is in a sober state. I'm sure she doesn't mean half the stuff she says when she is drunk. If it's that much of a problem for you, you shouldn't go out drinking with her anymore. You'll only end up getting hurt if you do. Good Luck :smile:

Yeah I am considering not going out drinking with her again, I have got other mates that are just as bad (as in the types that get kicked out of clubs and arrested for being too drunk lol :rolleyes:

) - and I try and avoid going out drinking with them too. They too are fine when sober, just when the booze hits them lol.

It is far to embarassing, I just don't know what on earth to do when it gets into that state. As I am naturally quite reserved.

I know she didn't mean half the stuff she said to me in her drunken state - well I hope not anyway. Yeah, your right she said to me last night that "I am two years older then you, so don't tell me what to do..."Fact was it was late, I am a mate, and her being drunk and female - there was noooooooooooo way I was letting her getting back alone at that time of night.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

squigaletta

If you're planning on distancing yourself anyway I suggest you tell her sraight out why. Say you can't take it when she's drunk coz she's just too difficult. Hopefully that will give her the wake up call she needs that drinking and being drunk isn't as awsome as she thinks. It may be that she just gets pissed off at you, but if you were distancing yourself in the first place it will make it easier anyway.

In the respect of going out with her, yeah I guess now I wan't to keep my distance a bit - she is just too crazy for me. So I might just tell her exactly that. I don't know how to break it to her, because it is not the first time someone has said this to her - she will take it as great offence. I know she will. Especially after the fact that not so long ago, I did text her drunk that I wouldn't **** her over like her other mates have. So I just feel quite bad by doing so.

Reply 11

squigaletta

She clearly has a problem if she is alienating people at such a rate. You aren't ****ing her over, youre preserving yourself, no one should be expected to do what you have on a regular basis. It's incredibly disrespectful of her to let herself get like that when you will end up looking after her. I have got smashed and my friends looked after me, they've got smashed and I've looked after them, but we don't do it repeatedly coz it's rude and selfish.

Reply 12

tldevil

1

Sigh I don't understand what's so great about getting drunk all the time... it's perfectly possible to have a great time minus the alkie. (although a tiny little bit doesnt hurt)

Reply 13

foxo

17

I can empathise with her to some extent. I used to be really terrible for binge drinking - I would drink much more than the people I was with, often because I found them to be insufferable bores, and I also thought that I was suffering from depression at the time. The only way I could enjoy their company was to get peloothered. I'm not suggesting she's doing this for the same reason, but she appears to be trying to alienate herself from you as someone put it - and for that reason I feel you should probably stop drinking with her, for a while anyway.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

tldevil

Sigh I don't understand what's so great about getting drunk all the time... it's perfectly possible to have a great time minus the alkie. (although a tiny little bit doesnt hurt)

lol...Alkie is fine, if you can handle it. *sighs* So many of my mates just over do it and drink more then they can handle, and before you know it, a situation like this occurs.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

foxo

I can empathise with her to some extent. I used to be really terrible for binge drinking - I would drink much more than the people I was with, often because I found them to be insufferable bores, and I also thought that I was suffering from depression at the time. The only way I could enjoy their company was to get peloothered. I'm not suggesting she's doing this for the same reason, but she appears to be trying to alienate herself from you as someone put it - and for that reason I feel you should probably stop drinking with her, for a while anyway.

What just annoyed me is I kept saying to her last night "look if you see me as a mate, and trust me you will let me get you back to your flat safely"...I had to constantly repeat that sentence to the point that I started to eventually get very frustrated and said "Your being very difficult, why?????????"...Then she started to make a scene in public, shoving me when it was just me and her, to any walking bypasser drunk it looked quite dodgy. Never felt so embarassed in my life.

Anyway back to your point, yes I believe that could be true. She is going through quite a tough time at the mo cos of the reasons I mentioned earlier, like she has lost a fair bit of mates because of this crazy act (i.e. they will be OK hanging around with her in private, but just not in public). Hence that is probably the reason why she thought I was thinking that she was psychopatic; she has a bit of a rep. So topped with the booze it just came out in that form - clearly she seemed quite frustrated at something, just don't know what, can only speculate.

Reply 16

username47781

20

It was very nice of you to show concern and walk her back to her flat, I mean if she went alone someone could have easily took advantage of her.

Anyway i would confront her and tell her whats she's been doing to you while drunk.

Reply 17

Toy Soldier

3

Hmm... I can see both perspectives here. On one hand sometimes (especially when a bit drunk) I really want some time alone, and will often make a point of walking home alone (and get annoyed if people try to walk with me / say I shouldn't walk alone). On the other hand - not to be sexist but as a 6'2 male I'm a lot less vulnerable to being attacked walking alone (drunk) at night, and more able to defend myself if it did happen. I know how you feel about not wanting to let a female friend walk home alone late at night. I don't like to even if the girl is stone cold sober, let alone hammered. Personally, I couldn't live with myself if something happened to a friend that could have been avoided. Usually, if in the situation you described, I just explain that and say that if they want to walk alone that's fine but I'll be following behind. But like I said I have been known to get slightly psycho myself when drunk, so I'm in a better position to understand. Also my mum's off her freakin' rocker (and a bit smashed) 50% of the time, so I have plenty of experience dealing with people who are acting a bit... "strangely".

Reply 18

rosetinted

2

Tell her honestly exactly how she behaves when she's drunk and that it makes you uncomfortable. If I acted like such an idiot when drunk I'd much rather someone told me. Maybe she doesn't realise that she's being insufferable.

If you don't enjoy going out drinking with her then don't do it. I've got a couple of friends who are lovely but I will never go out on a big night with them because when they are drunk they either start bawling and make a scene, or get really angry over tiny things and pick fights.

Very odd friend

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