Can you hide the fact that you're a virgin.
So when you do the deed the first time do you think it's possible to hide the fact that you've never done it before, providing you go in with a decent plan? Or is it just plain obvious you don't have a clue?
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I'd say it depends. If you've had a bit of sexual experience but haven't gone "all the way" (full penetration), it may be easier than for someone who is "extra-virgin".
It might be useful to look for expert advice on how to, well, do it. Something like this DVD might be pretty useful. That one was recommended at my local sexual health clinic.
I would not recommend using Internet porn on its own to learn, as that can give distorted ideas about sex and what the gender you are attracted to actually goes for. Many people will simply not go for the kind of stuff you can find in porn.
As a male, my first time was at the age of 26 with a neighbour who was 44. She had no idea, and still has no idea, that she was the "first" I went all the way with.
Another point. People do tend to lie about the number of sexual partners they have had. As a rule of thumb, men "lie up", women "lie down".
A lot of male virgins would not admit it in the kind of culture where one's "manliness" is (rather stupidly, I must add) linked to sexual experience and the ability to attract a sexual partner. So there are a lot more of them around than those who dare to admit it.
It might be useful to look for expert advice on how to, well, do it. Something like this DVD might be pretty useful. That one was recommended at my local sexual health clinic.
I would not recommend using Internet porn on its own to learn, as that can give distorted ideas about sex and what the gender you are attracted to actually goes for. Many people will simply not go for the kind of stuff you can find in porn.
As a male, my first time was at the age of 26 with a neighbour who was 44. She had no idea, and still has no idea, that she was the "first" I went all the way with.
Another point. People do tend to lie about the number of sexual partners they have had. As a rule of thumb, men "lie up", women "lie down".
A lot of male virgins would not admit it in the kind of culture where one's "manliness" is (rather stupidly, I must add) linked to sexual experience and the ability to attract a sexual partner. So there are a lot more of them around than those who dare to admit it.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Mequa
I'd say it depends. If you've had a bit of sexual experience but haven't gone "all the way" (full penetration), it may be easier than for someone who is "extra-virgin".
It might be useful to look for expert advice on how to, well, do it. Something like this DVD might be pretty useful.
I would not recommend using Internet porn on its own to learn, as that can give distorted ideas about sex and what the gender you are attracted to finds a turn on. Many people will simply not go for the kind of stuff you can find in porn.
As a male, my first time was at the age of 26 with a neighbour who was 44. She had no idea, and still has no idea, that she was the "first" I went all the way with.
Another point. People do tend to lie about the number of sexual partners they have had. As a rule of thumb, men "lie up", women "lie down".
A lot of male virgins would not admit it in the kind of culture where one's "manliness" is (rather stupidly, I must add) linked to sexual experience and the ability to attract a sexual partner. So there are a lot more of them around than dare to admit it.
It might be useful to look for expert advice on how to, well, do it. Something like this DVD might be pretty useful.
I would not recommend using Internet porn on its own to learn, as that can give distorted ideas about sex and what the gender you are attracted to finds a turn on. Many people will simply not go for the kind of stuff you can find in porn.
As a male, my first time was at the age of 26 with a neighbour who was 44. She had no idea, and still has no idea, that she was the "first" I went all the way with.
Another point. People do tend to lie about the number of sexual partners they have had. As a rule of thumb, men "lie up", women "lie down".
A lot of male virgins would not admit it in the kind of culture where one's "manliness" is (rather stupidly, I must add) linked to sexual experience and the ability to attract a sexual partner. So there are a lot more of them around than dare to admit it.
I'm pretty sure I'd know what to expect but you never know. It's weird, I've always done aright with women, just somehow never managed to cross the line.
If you're a guy who's pretending and you come really quickly/don't know how to do much/any foreplay with a woman then she might guess that you're a virgin or inexperienced.
If you're a girl it's probably going to hurt and you may bleed. So again, tell tale signs.
I'm sure it'd be easier just to tell that person you're a virgin and have a more relaxing first time than pretending.
If you're a girl it's probably going to hurt and you may bleed. So again, tell tale signs.
I'm sure it'd be easier just to tell that person you're a virgin and have a more relaxing first time than pretending.
Original post by Anonymous
If you're a guy who's pretending and you come really quickly/don't know how to do much/any foreplay with a woman then she might guess that you're a virgin or inexperienced.
If you're a girl it's probably going to hurt and you may bleed. So again, tell tale signs.
I'm sure it'd be easier just to tell that person you're a virgin and have a more relaxing first time than pretending.
If you're a girl it's probably going to hurt and you may bleed. So again, tell tale signs.
I'm sure it'd be easier just to tell that person you're a virgin and have a more relaxing first time than pretending.
I've got no beef against coming across inexperienced - it's just the tag of Virgin that I don't like, I know it shouldn't be but unfortunately society dictates that it's a tad embarrassing once you reach a certain age.
Fair enough, iff you're going to lie than you better be damn confident and know how to put a condom on! Just saying :-)
I almost had a ONS (never had one before) but then the guy told me he was a virgin and I quickly changed my mind. So I can see where you're coming from (no pun intended)
I almost had a ONS (never had one before) but then the guy told me he was a virgin and I quickly changed my mind. So I can see where you're coming from (no pun intended)
If it's with a girl you are going out with / interested in a relationship with as opposed to a one-off, I would say tell her. I'd hate to be someone's first and not know / find out later.
Original post by Anonymous
So when you do the deed the first time do you think it's possible to hide the fact that you've never done it before, providing you go in with a decent plan? Or is it just plain obvious you don't have a clue?
It would depend on how many times you had given birth.
Original post by Anonymous
I almost had a ONS (never had one before) but then the guy told me he was a virgin and I quickly changed my mind. So I can see where you're coming from (no pun intended)
I almost had a ONS (never had one before) but then the guy told me he was a virgin and I quickly changed my mind. So I can see where you're coming from (no pun intended)
Really?
Why?So much for this 'it doesn't matter' crud everyone tell time.
If you say you're experienced and are then rubbish, she's not going to want to do it again. If you admit to being a virgin, she'll see that you're learning and it'll be more long term
It's hard, very hard. You need a solid game plan. I went in raw my first time, it wasn't as difficult or as scary as I expected. It's a lot easier and much more straightforward than you think, as long as you got a decent game plan.
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Original post by ChaoticButterfly
Really? Why?
So much for this 'it doesn't matter' crud everyone tell time.
Why?So much for this 'it doesn't matter' crud everyone tell time.
Purely selfish reasons.
If we were dating or in a relationship it wouldn't have mattered as he'd have got better over time and we'd have feelings for each other so again it wouldn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
We were both just after a one time thing (until he said he was a virgin) and I just wanted to go home and have some fun with someone that knows what they're doing. I didn't want to be trying to teach someone and also I didn't want to take someone's virginity, I actually said it'd be better for him if he waited until he wanted a girlfriend rather than losing it to someone on a ONS.
Original post by crosstalk
It would depend on how many times you had given birth.
My lack of ovaries/vagina etc makes giving birth difficult.
Original post by Anonymous
If you say you're experienced and are then rubbish, she's not going to want to do it again. If you admit to being a virgin, she'll see that you're learning and it'll be more long term
Wouldn't say I'm experienced, I'm not expecting to be Christian Grey just not to embarrass myself and make sure ahes had a decent time.
Original post by Zürich
Some guys who've been having sex for years have issues with premature ejaculation etc so wouldnt really give it away. Only thing would be the lack of foreplay or just sort of hesitation etc I guess
Yeah it's the hesitation that I think would give it away.
You definitely can hide it. When I had sex for the first time with a girl, I had given her an impression that I've been with plenty of girls before, because in reality I was very ashamed of still being a virgin at 18 years old. I performed very well, lasted longer than enough and you really couldn't tell. You can learn so much about girls online nowadays before trying one out, that you can be pretty good at it without much practice.
I would say the same from girls. I've taken a total of 3 virginities from girls and while two of them were obvious (first one was bleeding, second one was hurting really bad) the third one had no pain or blood and I thought she had been with plenty of guys before. I only found out later that she was a virgin before me.
So the answer is yes, you can definitely hide it.
I would say the same from girls. I've taken a total of 3 virginities from girls and while two of them were obvious (first one was bleeding, second one was hurting really bad) the third one had no pain or blood and I thought she had been with plenty of guys before. I only found out later that she was a virgin before me.
So the answer is yes, you can definitely hide it.
Original post by Tom78
If you do your homework then I think so. But most people who've watched porn should have some sort of idea of what they're doing.
Yeah that's what I'm hoping, like im not planning on putting it in her ear. I have a gameplan in my head for when the time is ready.
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