The Student Room Group

Why do girls suddenly go quiet on you?!

I know one girl in my uni. We don't really "click" but she seems to give a lot of hints she may have liked me. Nothing solid, but it was intriguing at the very least.

However, despite us having very little in common (5-7 topics outside of education/degree), we do spend time together in the bar/union or wherever. She always used to talk to me and make the effort over MSN or in person before I even had the chance to, but I did start making more effort quicker. Now she has gone completely quiet on me but worryingly only really talks when she needs something, but still goes quiet mid way through a conversation.

Can any girls explain this to me? Did I do something wrong (unlikely but anything is possible with girls)?

Scroll to see replies

if you have nothing in common then it just may be the fact that you have exhausted all lines of conversation
Maybe you were over-eager. Maybe you misread the initial signals. Maybe (like someone said) you've just run out of things to say. Maybe she's just a bit weird :wink:
Reply 3
either she digs you and is waiting for u to ask her out and is shy]
or she doesnt like you like that and is shy.,
you must ask her. if she tells you she only likes you as friend then remember she is only your friend/
taylorlady
either she digs you and is waiting for u to ask her out and is shy


Good point - maybe she's just creating a nice gap in conversation for you to ask her out for a drink.
Reply 5
Maybe she is intimidated by you.
Does she avert her eyes when she talks to you? Does she seem to have problems making eye contact, and/or look away when you look at her?

I used to be really shy, and sometimes when I liked a guy, I would get like this. Because I was infatuated, I would get all "omg he is amazing, he would never like me, he is so much better than me". I would get very self-concious and feel like I had to be impressive if I said anything...if we had little in common, it would be worse, because I would feel like an idiot when he talked about things he was interested in (as I could say nothing about it)...

So yeah, maybe she does like you, but is intimidated.

Even if she does, though, I doubt a relationship would work unless she could start to feel more comfortable around you.

Oh, and sometimes, I would be normal at first, but if I knew the guy knew I liked him, that's when I would get quiet, as I felt embarrassed that he knew.
Reply 6
Ink
Maybe she is intimidated by you.
Does she avert her eyes when she talks to you? Does she seem to have problems making eye contact, and/or look away when you look at her?

I used to be really shy, and sometimes when I liked a guy, I would get like this. Because I was infatuated, I would get all "omg he is amazing, he would never like me, he is so much better than me". I would get very self-concious and feel like I had to be impressive if I said anything...if we had little in common, it would be worse, because I would feel like an idiot when he talked about things he was interested in (as I could say nothing about it)...

So yeah, maybe she does like you, but is intimidated.

Even if she does, though, I doubt a relationship would work unless she could start to feel more comfortable around you.

Oh, and sometimes, I would be normal at first, but
if I knew the guy knew I liked him, that's when I would get quiet
, as I felt embarrassed that he knew.
and also if the girl feels that u like her and she doesn't feel the same way, thats the point when she becomes quiet.....exactly what happened to me recently:frown:
Reply 7
Anonymous
I know one girl in my uni. We don't really "click" but she seems to give a lot of hints she may have liked me. Nothing solid, but it was intriguing at the very least.

However, despite us having very little in common (5-7 topics outside of education/degree), we do spend time together in the bar/union or wherever. She always used to talk to me and make the effort over MSN or in person before I even had the chance to, but I did start making more effort quicker. Now she has gone completely quiet on me but worryingly only really talks when she needs something, but still goes quiet mid way through a conversation.

Can any girls explain this to me? Did I do something wrong (unlikely but anything is possible with girls)?


Maybe she ran out of topics to discuss :rolleyes:

Or sometimes when girls go quiet they are either shy or just thinking of something interesting to say......either way this would mean she likes you :wink:
Reply 8
Interesting feedback. The only problem is that everything said is wide ranging so I have no idea on what to believe. :frown: The more people asked, the more I'm confused.

Unfortunately she talked a lot and made the effort, but then so did I in return to be fair and because I kind of like her. But then she stopped, maybe because I never reply promptly because I'm not at my desk but I ring her/txt her/tell her in person the next day that I was eating when she msg'd me and then she left, but if I send this by txt I don't get a reply. Then again, every gal I've known are slow with replies via txts. Maybe she got annoyed that I didn't reply? But my status was always set to away and she was fairly enthusiastic to talk to me (saying hiiiiiiiiiii, a few nudges, when my status is set to away).

But she has now become a girl who only really talks when she needs something, rarely otherwise. This is a shame because it's a put off and she's a nice girl otherwise, and not of the serious type who always talks of marriage and kids. She spends time at uni socialising as much as working. Of course, me being older than her and her having just finished uni does mean she will see me as being practical and able to help her, so I will be seen strongly as that. To me, I see this as a problem. And she probably thinks I'm a genius given my grades when she asked of them.

She also dropped arguably the biggest hint(s) out of the two of us. That is, the way she sort of asks to do things with me when I do them each week (go out somewhere basically). I don't know if she is taken either but if she is, then her wanting to do things with me is intriguing and if she isn't, that's just as intriguing. I've done small things - nothing as "obvious" as this so I cannot see how she would know I like her, which even I don't know if I do yet lol. My mate said maybe she just enjoys my company, but given the awkward moments of silence, I doubt this! :s-smilie:

However, we do struggle to have a decent conversation as she goes quiet midway and I have run out of topics to use. Even when I re-use a topic that appeals to anyone, such as music, films, parties or whatever, it hasn't guranteed or created a decent conversation.

But I'm worried that she has stopped talking because she's lost interest or she is just a user. She should be patient, give me a chance or give me some sort of sign that she is not taken!

Going to the library with her (not that I have) would be perfect because if I do not talk at least I have my work as an "alibi". In the bar, I don't have any such excuse.

Why do I feel that whatever I do or feel, I will lose? Maybe it's just experience telling me this....:frown:
Reply 9
Personally, when I do that to a guy, it's because I've thought the relationship was platonic, but then realised he wants something more/has a crush, and I want to stop encouraging him.

Sorry :frown:

She could be different though :smile:
Anonymous

However, we do struggle to have a decent conversation as she goes quiet midway and I have run out of topics to use.


Sexual positions?

Talya
Personally, when I do that to a guy, it's because I've thought the relationship was platonic, but then realised he wants something more/has a crush, and I want to stop encouraging him.

Sorry :frown:

She could be different though :smile:


Ha, that does happen. Annoyingly sometimes it happens when we guys really DO just want to be friends. Like one day you're friends with someone, then someone tells the girl you want more than that when it's not even true. And suddenly the girl is all distant and it's like "eh? wtf?". I've taken to just saying "Did someone tell you that I fancy you or something? It's lies! You're ugly!"
Reply 11
darkfairy
Maybe she likes the silence in your company?


Wow i wish i knew lots of people like this :rolleyes:
I always find myself in these awkward silence moments and its always me who has to think about things to talk about :s-smilie:
I wish i knew loads of people who liked the silence sometimes because i love it.

I dont think im shy im just not much of a talker. Is this possible :confused:
Reply 12
Toy Soldier

Ha, that does happen. Annoyingly sometimes it happens when we guys really DO just want to be friends. Like one day you're friends with someone, then someone tells the girl you want more than that when it's not even true. And suddenly the girl is all distant and it's like "eh? wtf?". I've taken to just saying "Did someone tell you that I fancy you or something? It's lies! You're ugly!"

:toofunny: Ive got to use that sometime. Excellent advice:p:
Pocoyo
:toofunny: Ive got to use that sometime. Excellent advice:p:


Have to warn you, only say it if you're at least 90% sure the girl will take it as a joke as intended, and not go suicidal on you. Or if she's a bitch just say it anyway :biggrin:. "Why would I fancy a fat girl??", then laugh as she runs to the toilet and pukes herself to death.
Reply 14
This is just stupid, in that nothing makes sense.

How can she think I like her? Even I'm not sure what exactly I feel towards her. And I'm not the one who has dropped major hints. In fact I haven't done enough there, and want to make my feelings only obvious when I see her in person, which is not often enough and easy enough thanks to a completely different timetable.

Of course, come the time she needs something, or help with some work, she won't hesitate to message me. :mad: This is university and girls can't do their own work. I'm yet to meet a girl at my university who can manage her own work. I only actually know one or two girls who are good at managing their studies. :rolleyes:

The only possible reasons I see are:

1) She was interested but lost interest due to me not being quick or obvious enough. Be fair, I lack experience and I don't see her often enough in person to do anything. I'm not coming into uni just for her. And as for using msn to drop hints, apart from asking her out with my mates (who are all busy due to assignments/dissertations etc), msn and liking a girl are fraught with danger.

And that is all, lol. She went quiet on me out of the blue, but before that I was often away and missed chances for conversations.
2)
Reply 15
darkfairy
You do realise what a massive generalisation you're making :rolleyes:...


Yes lol. Ok to be fair I mean just most girls in my extended university social network. Of course, that is a small percentage of the total number of girls at my university. Of course there are boys in my labs/social circle who are just as hopeless, too...
I go VERY quiet on boys I like because I don't want to make an arse of myself :|
Reply 17
Bumping this thread. Still would like a strong idea (preferably from a girl) on what this girl is thinking/doing.

In my experience, I've made it very obvious I like a girl and she has gone quiet on me. However, since this girl went quiet on me, I didn't make my feelings obvious. In fact, it was more opposite. That may hint the answer is her losing interest but I can be certain of nothing and I don't see her often enough to do anything. :frown:
Reply 18
Anonymous
Bumping this thread. Still would like a strong idea (preferably from a girl) on what this girl is thinking/doing.

In my experience, I've made it very obvious I like a girl and she has gone quiet on me. However, since this girl went quiet on me, I didn't make my feelings obvious. In fact, it was more opposite. That may hint the answer is her losing interest but I can be certain of nothing and I don't see her often enough to do anything. :frown:


Okay, there could be two reasons why she’s gone quiet on you.

First: She doesn’t want your feelings to develop and perhaps is trying to avoid you. Maybe she thinks the less you speak the more distant you will become. This again could lead to two options. She likes you but doesn’t want the relationship to develop due to her own personal reasons OR she doesn’t feel the same way about you.

Second: She likes you and feels shy. Maybe she’s not the type to make the first move and she’s waiting for you to say something.
This thread sounds very similar to i situation i had last year. There was this girl that lived in my halls and done the same course. At the start we got on really well and she was like "What you doing tonight, come out! Go on, come out" and would invite me to her flat party and things and would ask if i would be up for going uni on our day off to get some books and things. Now after a few weeks she went a bit cold on me. Although we still went uni together she stopped being forward with me if you like for abit for a few weeks and after that then sort of went mid-way. She stopped being cold with me but was never as forward with me as she was at the start, but we are still friends and still get on very well with each other. I do think that she was interested at the start but i was too damn thick and didnt get the hints!