Would you marry a feminist?
Scroll to see replies
Original post by cleverasvoltaire
Nope. I believe women are equal to men. Same legal rights, same pay. Being a feminist is like being an abolitionist. Not needed.
69,000 women are raped per year.
9,000 men are raped per year.
Men feel pressured not to take on careers in nursing and child minding because of patriarchal pressures.
Women feel pressured not to take on careers in engineering and politics because of patriarchal pressures.
Do you need more evidence, or can you understand the fact women and men are not equal in this society? As a result of this, we need feminism.
And that's just Western society. Don't even get me started on places such as Saudi Arabia.
Original post by Rakas21
Politically active women and politically active feminists are not exclusive. One i like, the other i don't.
To some degree with perception matters and you don;t hear from normal feminists these days.
Sure, i support the concept as i said.
To some degree with perception matters and you don;t hear from normal feminists these days.
Sure, i support the concept as i said.
Oh, so women being politically active is fine so long as their not standing up for their rights?
That, my friend, is called the media. People are afraid of change; as if by default media outlets are trying to smother feminism with the extremists. They can't stand the fact women might soon be on an equal playing field so they try to stop it from happening in the first place. You go out there are randomly select 100 feminists I'll bet 95% are 'normal'.
If you support feminism, you should support its publicity and the chance for the idea to be spread. If not, there's no point.
I am a sweet, supportive, feminine feminist.
And god, feminism isn't about thinking doing things for men is 'oppressive'. It's about being free to make the choice whether to be a housewife, a career woman or anything in between without the influence of societal pressures.
Also, 'submissive', really? Unless you're in some form of pre-negotiated consensual dominance/submission lifestyle relationship, no one has to submit to anyone. Are you looking for an equal partnership with your wife or a dog?
In answer to your question, I want to marry another female who is a feminist. I want to stay at home and be the one to look after our 2 adopted children and 8 cats, but I want to do this because I WANT to, not because the patriarchy told me I have to.
Also, thanks for considering LGBTQ+ people in the poll options T.T
And god, feminism isn't about thinking doing things for men is 'oppressive'. It's about being free to make the choice whether to be a housewife, a career woman or anything in between without the influence of societal pressures.
Also, 'submissive', really? Unless you're in some form of pre-negotiated consensual dominance/submission lifestyle relationship, no one has to submit to anyone. Are you looking for an equal partnership with your wife or a dog?
In answer to your question, I want to marry another female who is a feminist. I want to stay at home and be the one to look after our 2 adopted children and 8 cats, but I want to do this because I WANT to, not because the patriarchy told me I have to.
Also, thanks for considering LGBTQ+ people in the poll options T.T
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by katinthehat
Oh, so women being politically active is fine so long as their not standing up for their rights?
That, my friend, is called the media. People are afraid of change; as if by default media outlets are trying to smother feminism with the extremists. They can't stand the fact women might soon be on an equal playing field so they try to stop it from happening in the first place. You go out there are randomly select 100 feminists I'll bet 95% are 'normal'.
If you support feminism, you should support its publicity and the chance for the idea to be spread. If not, there's no point.
That, my friend, is called the media. People are afraid of change; as if by default media outlets are trying to smother feminism with the extremists. They can't stand the fact women might soon be on an equal playing field so they try to stop it from happening in the first place. You go out there are randomly select 100 feminists I'll bet 95% are 'normal'.
If you support feminism, you should support its publicity and the chance for the idea to be spread. If not, there's no point.
If i choose to campaign politically, do i need to campaign on men's issues if i care more about the economy or foreign policy.
Perhaps.
If there was ever a conversation about feminism i would of course air my opinion.
Original post by Rakas21
If i choose to campaign politically, do i need to campaign on men's issues if i care more about the economy or foreign policy.
Perhaps.
If there was ever a conversation about feminism i would of course air my opinion.
Perhaps.
If there was ever a conversation about feminism i would of course air my opinion.
No, you don't. But, you should support it for the sake of being on your own side, and if you did want to campaign on men's issues nobody should be opposed to it.
Original post by katinthehat
Yeah, and you know the thing about BDSM? It's purely sexual. There's no way any woman should feel obligated to continue being 'submissive' outside the bedroom. Similarly, the man should no longer have to be 'dominant'. And remember it can work both ways; sometimes the woman is dom and the man is sub. If you're continuing that lifestyle outside of your (consensual) fornications, there is something askew.
Just to clear this up, BDSM can be lifestyle and it's perfectly ok for either gender to submit to the other outside of the bedroom providing it is all consensual and well negotiated. I'm a lifestyle submissive. It doesn't mean I will submit to anyone but I will for my femdom if we've agreed on it.
But anyway :P
Btw, great posts in this thread! Amen sister!
On the submission point i think most men when they say that just mean letting the man be the breadwinner and make the decisions rather than acting like a pet. Most relationships have somebody naturally more decisive than the other even if you don't regard somebody as being 'the boss'.
Original post by katinthehat
Yeah, and you know the thing about BDSM? It's purely sexual. There's no way any woman should feel obligated to continue being 'submissive' outside the bedroom. Similarly, the man should no longer have to be 'dominant'. And remember it can work both ways; sometimes the woman is dom and the man is sub. If you're continuing that lifestyle outside of your (consensual) fornications, there is something askew.
This is false. BDSM can be an entire lifestyle. It doesn't have to be only taking place in the bedroom, nor only for sexual reasons. BDSM is a very complex world and you shouldn't presume to know what a man or women wants their relationship to be like outside the bedroom. I know of women who like the idea of being a submissive 'traditional' wife. As well as some who just like to be dominated in all aspects of life.
I know men who are the same way. You can find entire communities on the internet dedicated for these people.
And often these people have the soundest minds and take the greatest care in their activities. There absolutely isn't 'something askew' in their lives.
It's important to for you to understand that people are very complex beings, and when they don't fall in line with how you think they should act, you don't/can't/shouldn't just assume something's 'wrong'.
tl'dr there are men and women out there who do feel, and want to feel obligated to continue being submissive outside the bedroom.
Original post by battycatlady
Just to clear this up, BDSM can be lifestyle and it's perfectly ok for either gender to submit to the other outside of the bedroom providing it is all consensual and well negotiated. I'm a lifestyle submissive. It doesn't mean I will submit to anyone but I will for my femdom if we've agreed on it.
But anyway :P
Btw, great posts in this thread! Amen sister!
But anyway :P
Btw, great posts in this thread! Amen sister!
Yeah, that's fine by me! I just mean if someone didn't want to continue outside of the bedroom, they shouldn't feel obliged to, but that probably didn't come across. Yours is the healthy attitude to have towards BDSM
And thank you! I try to make people understand
Original post by MarriageSucks
Personally I'd rather chop my balls off than marry a feminist who thinks that doing anything nice for a man is 'oppressive.' Give me a sweet, supportive, feminine woman any day.
Who else will never marry a feminist? Would you prefer a sweet, supportive, feminine woman instead?
Who else will never marry a feminist? Would you prefer a sweet, supportive, feminine woman instead?
Feminists believe in equality not beating their partners to a pulp and treating them like their bitch.
Being feminine is not the opposite of being a feminist!!
Original post by katinthehat
69,000 women are raped per year.
9,000 men are raped per year.
Men feel pressured not to take on careers in nursing and child minding because of patriarchal pressures.
Women feel pressured not to take on careers in engineering and politics because of patriarchal pressures.
Do you need more evidence, or can you understand the fact women and men are not equal in this society? As a result of this, we need feminism.
And that's just Western society. Don't even get me started on places such as Saudi Arabia.
9,000 men are raped per year.
Men feel pressured not to take on careers in nursing and child minding because of patriarchal pressures.
Women feel pressured not to take on careers in engineering and politics because of patriarchal pressures.
Do you need more evidence, or can you understand the fact women and men are not equal in this society? As a result of this, we need feminism.
And that's just Western society. Don't even get me started on places such as Saudi Arabia.
Are we talking in the world? Also how on the nonexistent God's earth is that related to rights? How about introducing laws to stop men raping, eh? What a novel idea.
"Ooh I really love science and all that but the patriarchy! What if they disapprove! Oh well, better go into child minding instead."
"I'm really passionate about politics and I really want to make a change in the world. Women like Hilary Clinton, Michelle Obama and Margaret Thatcher really inspire me. But muh patriarchy!"
Saudi Arabia is a disgusting place where inequality festers in all parts of society due to the theocratic nature of the government against all peoples.
There is also no wage gap. If you want a source for this feel free to ask.
Original post by SamKeene
This is false. BDSM can be an entire lifestyle. It doesn't have to be only taking place in the bedroom, nor only for sexual reasons. BDSM is a very complex world and you shouldn't presume to know what a man or women wants their relationship to be like outside the bedroom. I know of women who like the idea of being a submissive 'traditional' wife. As well as some who just like to be dominated in all aspects of life.
I know men who are the same way. You can find entire communities on the internet dedicated for these people.
And often these people have the soundest minds and take the greatest care in their activities. There absolutely isn't 'something askew' in their lives.
It's important to for you to understand that people are very complex beings, and when they don't fall in line with how you think they should act, you don't/can't/shouldn't just assume something's 'wrong'.
tl'dr there are men and women out there who do feel, and want to feel obligated to continue being submissive outside the bedroom.
I know men who are the same way. You can find entire communities on the internet dedicated for these people.
And often these people have the soundest minds and take the greatest care in their activities. There absolutely isn't 'something askew' in their lives.
It's important to for you to understand that people are very complex beings, and when they don't fall in line with how you think they should act, you don't/can't/shouldn't just assume something's 'wrong'.
tl'dr there are men and women out there who do feel, and want to feel obligated to continue being submissive outside the bedroom.
Sorry, I have to apologise before I say anything else. When I said 'something askew' I meant something else, which I will try to explain, but I can understand why you've interpreted it the way you have.
I'm backtracking here. I can see it's fine to have these kind of relationships outside of the bedroom, however, when it comes to extremes such as masochism and sadism, no matter how consensual either party is it can be viewed by the outside world as an abusive relationship so you need to be careful about how you behave in the public eye.
I put all BDSM under an umbrella and I shouldn't have because it's a spectrum, but that is what I meant when I said this. I wouldn't judge someone based on something like this, but the rest of the world isn't so open-minded. But, thank you for saying what you did because it did come out completely wrong and I wouldn't have realised!
I never would. Fair enough, I'm all for powerful women and everything... but sandwiches... lovely sandwiches...
Original post by MarriageSucks
Agreed! A woman who is not submissive is unsuitable for marriage.
No one is suitable for marriage, there isn't any perfect marriage to look up to so get your facts right, none of you should be submissive to each other you should both respect each other and be equal
Original post by Fawkesgirl33
What is wrong with a woman being politically active? If you look at the UK Parliament, only 22% are women. How is representation being fulfilled here? Clearly quotas are necessary to ensure that everyone's rights are equally represented. How would you feel if the Parliament was 80% female and all women tried to stop any initiatives to get more men in power? Also, a) men aren't socialists too? and b) feminists are NOT, as a general rule, anti male. However, they are anti patriarchy.
There are more divides in society other than gender. Just sayin'
To answer OP. I got nothing against going out with a feminist. They are not all one homogenouse group anyway so...
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by cleverasvoltaire
Are we talking in the world? Also how on the nonexistent God's earth is that related to rights? How about introducing laws to stop men raping, eh? What a novel idea.
"Ooh I really love science and all that but the patriarchy! What if they disapprove! Oh well, better go into child minding instead."
"I'm really passionate about politics and I really want to make a change in the world. Women like Hilary Clinton, Michelle Obama and Margaret Thatcher really inspire me. But muh patriarchy!"
Saudi Arabia is a disgusting place where inequality festers in all parts of society due to the theocratic nature of the government against all peoples.
There is also no wage gap. If you want a source for this feel free to ask.
"Ooh I really love science and all that but the patriarchy! What if they disapprove! Oh well, better go into child minding instead."
"I'm really passionate about politics and I really want to make a change in the world. Women like Hilary Clinton, Michelle Obama and Margaret Thatcher really inspire me. But muh patriarchy!"
Saudi Arabia is a disgusting place where inequality festers in all parts of society due to the theocratic nature of the government against all peoples.
There is also no wage gap. If you want a source for this feel free to ask.
You'd be surprised to find out that there actually are laws in place to prevent rape, but it doesn't stop it from happening! I'm saying women are victims of rape and sexual assault MORE than men are. Due to being at a disadvantage, this is INEQUALITY, which is what feminism fights to combat.
That's a generalisation. You don't think people feel societal pressures to continue to follow gender roles? It can be as simple as someone saying "Oh, so you want to go into politics? Do you not feel pressurised in such a male-dominated environment?", or "You want to take paternity leave? I didn't even know that was a thing." (Two things actual people have said).
It's not necessarily an issue of facing serious discrimination, but there is an issue with people's attitudes towards women, gender roles and feminism and that needs to change.
Oh, and in regards to the wage gap: http://unstats.un.org/unsd/demographic/products/Worldswomen/wwwork2010.htm
Original post by katinthehat
...
Very well. I too probably should have been more careful in my reply, it was a little aggressive.
----------------------------
To answer the OP, I probably wouldn't marry a feminist because I don't believe the fundamental concepts of feminism make sense or can be applied to western society accurately. And I cannot be with someone who holds a belief that I think is devoid of any logical consistency.
It's ideas of a patriarchy are naive in their applications, the power gap is no longer between women and men, but between the rich and the poor - It's clear that we live in an oligarchy with patriarchy roots - but a 'patriarchy' through and through? No. Describing western society as a 'patriarchy' is as ludicrous as describing it as a 'matriarchy'.
I also have serious disagreements with their idea that gender is purely a social construct. While there are elements of social reinforcement and construction, the idea of gender roles is rooted in biology, and without changing the make-up of a human, we will never eliminate it.
I also disagree with the concept of 'rape culture'. I think how some feminists treat rape as well as their ideas on how to stop it ('teach men not to rape') are infantile and naive. I also have issues with some feminists exaggerating statistics, and sometimes outright making them up.
On a broader scale, some of the proposed ideas of what 'consent' should be by some feminists (must be a verbal explicit 'yes', no drinking involved) is so unbelievably stupid I cannot believe they are not trolling.
I guess I'm going on a rant here... time to stop.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by WoodyMKC
I never would. Fair enough, I'm all for powerful women and everything... but sandwiches... lovely sandwiches...
Just because I'm a feminist, it doesn't mean I won't make you a sandwich. It does, however, have to be my decision to make the sandwich and not your command
Quick Reply
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 days ago
Why is the political left now censorious and authoritarian??Last reply 2 days ago
Is it true that British unis are prejudiced towards degrees from Scottish unis?Last reply 2 days ago
If the Russell Group was now a fair representation of what it still claims to beLast reply 2 weeks ago
TSR Goes Green: How important will the environment be in this year's election?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Research Rankings of universities if you add Research Quality & Intensity percentagesLast reply 1 month ago
Is University of Birmingham prestigious and respected well enough in UK ?Trending
Last reply 2 days ago
Why is the political left now censorious and authoritarian??Last reply 2 days ago
Is it true that British unis are prejudiced towards degrees from Scottish unis?Last reply 2 days ago
If the Russell Group was now a fair representation of what it still claims to beLast reply 2 weeks ago
TSR Goes Green: How important will the environment be in this year's election?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Research Rankings of universities if you add Research Quality & Intensity percentagesLast reply 1 month ago
Is University of Birmingham prestigious and respected well enough in UK ?
