betrayal...

me and a guy from my uni have been going out for meals and stuff a lot recently and he's really nice. I'm quite a private person and I don't go telling everyone everything about whats happening in my life, so not many people know about it, they think i'm just walking around with a huge smile for no reason. the other day i was sat in a group of friends and one of my friends started telling us about this major major crush she has - on the guy i'm seeing. i didnt say anything at the time because she was going on and on about how he talked to her yesterday.
should i just come out and tell her about us, and end whatever she thinks might between them before she gets caried away? or keep quiet and wait for it to pass? i know it would really upset her, and thats the last thing i want to do. i am really unsure of what to do!
thanks so so much

Reply 1

username47781

20

Well i'm guessing you two are not going out so yes this is a tricky situation, I would reckon keeping quiet for now perhaps just enjoy the time you spend with this guy, then again telling her could have one or the other effect, it will warn her off or she'll be very upset and may plot to get him.

Reply 2

dogtanian

16

I'm not quite sure where the betrayal is.. If you're not serious enough to be telling people you're together, then does he perhaps think that you're at different stages? Like, he can flirt with others?

What did your friend say that he'd said?

If you're not prepared to tell her that the pair of you are getting closer, then there's not much you can do, really. As far as your friend's concerned, he's not seeing anyone, let alone you, then she can comment about how much she likes him.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

make it public with your guy, and just say "no hard feelings?" to you friend. what else can you do beyond tell your guy about it...

Reply 4

Ink

12

I would make sure you and the guy are on the same page - as in, you both think you are actually together and exclusive - before you say anything to her. Saying anything before you are sure could make a messy situation.

When you break the news to her, don't do it in front of a whole group of people as she tells them about how he looked at her yesterday. That would humilate her. Get her alone, and explain to her that you didn't tell her earlier because you weren't sure whether you and this guy were actually 'a thing' or not, and you didn't want to hurt her needlessly. Also, explain that this has been going on for a while, and it's not like you went out with him yesterday, after hearing she liked him.

Hopefully, she won't go berserk and create a huge drama with your group of friends.

Good luck.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

thankyou so so much! i just went out though tonight and she was raving about how he lent her the bus fare home from uni like it was the most amazing thing ever! i decided that i should maybe leave it with this guy before it gets too messy... her infatuation with him and the amount of people she tell is scary!
xXx

Reply 6

Phantom Phoenix

13

She does sound slightly obsessed...you should probably talk to your ?boyfriend? as soon as possible anyway! You seem to like him quite a lot so its a shame to forget about it because your mate's got a crush on him (after all, if you've never heard her mention it before, it must be a fairly recent development).

Speak to your boyfriend and decide if you want to be together or not. If you do, don't let this person stop you. Someone had an immense crush on my boyfriend when we started dating (admittedly she was more of an acquaintance than a friend, so your situation will be more difficult to deal with), so you can't always think of everyone's feelings.

It seems you're being very thoughtful about your friend and how she feels, which is great, but maybe its time to think about what's best for you and this guy you like?

Good luck with it whatever you decide :smile:

Reply 7

Triplet1

13

Anonymous

thankyou so so much! i just went out though tonight and she was raving about how he lent her the bus fare home from uni like it was the most amazing thing ever! i decided that i should maybe leave it with this guy before it gets too messy... her infatuation with him and the amount of people she tell is scary!
xXx

No dont give up on him! Umm your friend sounds about scary... just sit your friend down and say you ahve been "seeing" this guy for a while.

betrayal...

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