Worth breaking up with LDR girlfriend for sex with other girls? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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It's my 1st relationship and I'm a fresher. Myself and my gf are long distance and she's my only relationship. I've made out with a lot of girls before we got together but she's the only girl I've had sex with.

Now I'm Uni I can't help but be curious as to what it's like to have sex with other women. There are a few nice girls interested in me here and I feel chemistry with them, but I could never cheat on my gf so I never act on it. It also doesn't help that we've only had sex once or twice this year because of her illness.

I know she's in love with me, if I broke up with her to sleep with other women it'd break her heart. I also worry that if I broke up with her I'd find the sex an empty experience because I couldn't see myself wanting to be in a relationship with any of them, but by then it'd be too late.

What should i do?
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CherryWine
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's my 1st relationship and I'm a fresher. Myself and my gf are long distance and she's my only relationship. I've made out with a lot of girls before we got together but she's the only girl I've had sex with.

Now I'm Uni I can't help but be curious as to what it's like to have sex with other women. There are a few nice girls interested in me here and I feel chemistry with them, but I could never cheat on my gf so I never act on it. It also doesn't help that we've only had sex once or twice this year because of her illness.

I know she's in love with me, if I broke up with her to sleep with other women it'd break her heart. I also worry that if I broke up with her I'd find the sex an empty experience because I couldn't see myself wanting to be in a relationship with any of them, but by then it'd be too late.

What should i do?
You say that you know she's in love with you, but you don't mention being in love with her. That combined with the fact that you're interested in sleeping with other girls says it all really
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Anonymous #2
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I think that if you're seriously considering this, then you should break up with her. You shouldn't be with someone who you can seriously consider breaking up with just to have sex with other girls. You should be with someone who you love deeply, and who you wouldn't want to break up with. This also isn't very fair on her, if I found out my boyfriend was thinking similar thoughts Id be devastated. I'd much much rather he just broke up with me so I could be with someone who was 110% devoted.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CherryWine)
You say that you know she's in love with you, but you don't mention being in love with her. That combined with the fact that you're interested in sleeping with other girls says it all really
It's more like when I'm not with her (I haven't been for nearly a month) it's MUCH easier to feel this way. When I'm with her I don't even think of other girls and I definitely have my feelings. I dunno, is it because we're long distance? Maybe I need to be with her all the time to keep my feelings. Maybe one girl isn't enough (my confidence has dropped since I stopped getting with girls and there is such a thing as polyamory). Or maybe I'm not truly in love with my gf. Unfortunately there's no way to know without ****ing things up.
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username457532
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's more like when I'm not with her (I haven't been for nearly a month) it's MUCH easier to feel this way. When I'm with her I don't even think of other girls and I definitely have my feelings. I dunno, is it because we're long distance? Maybe I need to be with her all the time to keep my feelings. Maybe one girl isn't enough (my confidence has dropped since I stopped getting with girls and there is such a thing as polyamory). Or maybe I'm not truly in love with my gf. Unfortunately there's no way to know without ****ing things up.
But you should be missing her when not with her and looking forward to seeing her again (obviously whilst still having a life) not wishing you were with other girls. Dump her, she deserves better.
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bittr n swt
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#6
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Sooner or later you'll get tempted and cheat so just break up
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CherryWine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's more like when I'm not with her (I haven't been for nearly a month) it's MUCH easier to feel this way. When I'm with her I don't even think of other girls and I definitely have my feelings. I dunno, is it because we're long distance? Maybe I need to be with her all the time to keep my feelings. Maybe one girl isn't enough (my confidence has dropped since I stopped getting with girls and there is such a thing as polyamory). Or maybe I'm not truly in love with my gf. Unfortunately there's no way to know without ****ing things up.
I think you should break up with her. There are so many questions that you can't answer, if you were truly in love with her you would know, you would feel it. Your confidence is dropping, this wouldn't be happening if you are content with what you have. As the poster above said, you should be missing her when you're not with her. I don't agree with 'she deserves better', you haven't cheated on her, you've just realised that maybe you don't feel as strongly for her as she does for you. You shouldn't feel guilty about it, the best thing to do is break it off with her. She shouldn't be with someone who doesn't love her, and you shouldn't be with someone you don't love.
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Malevolent
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Break up with her. You shouldn't be thinking that way. Don't hurt her. Let her know you can't take the long distance at least give her that.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CherryWine)
I think you should break up with her. There are so many questions that you can't answer, if you were truly in love with her you would know, you would feel it. Your confidence is dropping, this wouldn't be happening if you are content with what you have. As the poster above said, you should be missing her when you're not with her. I don't agree with 'she deserves better', you haven't cheated on her, you've just realised that maybe you don't feel as strongly for her as she does for you. You shouldn't feel guilty about it, the best thing to do is break it off with her. She shouldn't be with someone who doesn't love her, and you shouldn't be with someone you don't love.
It's my problem if my confidence relies on getting with random girls. Thanks for saying the bold, I have always been a good boyfriend to her (otherwise she wouldn't be with me in the first place) but maybe it's true we shouldn't be together. Easter is coming up, I'll prolly feel like a prick for even thinking all this once we're back together. Hard to love someone you've spent more time apart from than with.
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CherryWine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's my problem if my confidence relies on getting with random girls. Thanks for saying the bold, I have always been a good boyfriend to her (otherwise she wouldn't be with me in the first place) but maybe it's true we shouldn't be together. Easter is coming up, I'll prolly feel like a prick for even thinking all this once we're back together. Hard to love someone you've spent more time apart from than with.
Life doesn't always go the way you plan/hope, so don't feel guilty about not having feelings that are supposed to be there. I've never been in a LDR, but yeah I'd imagine it is really hard to remain loving someone that you barely see.
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voiceofreason234
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How about how sleep with other girls and not tell her about it? That way you don't give up the guaranteed pussy but you also get to nail some other girls. Best of both worlds.
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username457532
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(Original post by voiceofreason234)
How about how sleep with other girls and not tell her about it? That way you don't give up the guaranteed pussy but you also get to nail some other girls. Best of both worlds.
Because that's definitely the moral thing to do.
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voiceofreason234
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(Original post by SmallTownGirl)
Because that's definitely the moral thing to do.
I'm not talking about what is 'moral', I'm talking about what is best for OP. Number 1 rule in life: look after number 1.
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by voiceofreason234)
I'm not talking about what is 'moral', I'm talking about what is best for OP. Number 1 rule in life: look after number 1.
And how would you feel if you were the one being cheated on?
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voiceofreason234
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
And how would you feel if you were the one being cheated on?
The idea, needless to say, is she doesn't find out.
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username457532
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(Original post by voiceofreason234)
The idea, needless to say, is she doesn't find out.
Right, so it's OK to lie to someone, not to mention put their health at risk, if you do it on the down-low?
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voiceofreason234
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(Original post by SmallTownGirl)
Right, so it's OK to lie to someone, not to mention put their health at risk, if you do it on the down-low?
Rule 1: Look after number 1.
Rule 2: Don't forget about rule 1.
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by voiceofreason234)
The idea, needless to say, is she doesn't find out.
Pretty low thing to do to be honest, why not just be single and do that, then no one gets hurt. Usually if you try the way of hoping she doesn't find out, it usually comes to bite you in the backside in the end.
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voiceofreason234
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
Pretty low thing to do to be honest, why not just be single and do that, then no one gets hurt. Usually if you try the way of hoping she doesn't find out, it usually comes to bite you in the backside in the end.
Because if you're single there's no guarantee you're getting laid at all, is there? I know plenty of single guys that go months without getting any.

At least if you have a girlfriend, even if it's long distance, you're pretty much guaranteed some sex when you do happen to meet up. And to be honest the sex will probably be good as you've not seen each other for a long time (whereas sex with the same person, day after day gets boring). OP can have the best of both worlds by keeping this girl, and looking at trying to get some ONS with others.
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Emily.97
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The fact that you're even considering this proves that you dont deserve her.
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