Helping girl feel included? Watch

Mysterio111
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
There is a girl n my University year, who sits by herself often at lunch. She has asked if she can sit with me and my friends in future and I said 'of course!'. So what can I do to make sure she feels included and cared for?
6
reply
Mysterio111
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#2
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#2
Anyone?
0
reply
SilverOcean
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#3
Report 4 years ago
#3
Hey!

Honestly, when she comes and sits with you just make and efforts to give her a space where shes included in to the group and not like sort of sits outside. look at her body language, and smile at her occasionally, ask her questions. once she starts to open, introduce a little more contact, like a little fist bump or something. but not too much. The key thing is to see if shes smiling. She wont start getting involved in the conversation completely the first time around but any progress is great. um yea, I think this should help her! The fact that she approached you is already a sign that shes comfortable around you so don't worry too much.

PS. Dont focus all the attention on her, it can be a little scary.

Hope I helped, I tend to ramble a little.
Kirn x
1
reply
German123
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#4
Report 4 years ago
#4
Basically, involve her in your conversations and try to make her feel welcome.
0
reply
InadequateJusticex
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#5
Report 4 years ago
#5
(Original post by SilverOcean)
Hey!

Honestly, when she comes and sits with you just make and efforts to give her a space where shes included in to the group and not like sort of sits outside. look at her body language, and smile at her occasionally, ask her questions. once she starts to open, introduce a little more contact, like a little fist bump or something. but not too much. The key thing is to see if shes smiling. She wont start getting involved in the conversation completely the first time around but any progress is great. um yea, I think this should help her! The fact that she approached you is already a sign that shes comfortable around you so don't worry too much.

PS. Dont focus all the attention on her, it can be a little scary.

Hope I helped, I tend to ramble a little.
Kirn x
I agree with everything except the fist bump. OP, please don't fist bump her :lol:
0
reply
SilverOcean
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#6
Report 4 years ago
#6
(Original post by InadequateJusticex)
I agree with everything except the fist bump. OP, please don't fist bump her :lol:

Hahahah XD hey something to lighten the mood
0
reply
schmuur
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#7
Report 4 years ago
#7
You sound so lovely! I think just treat her like everyone else in your friendship group. Invite her to the cinema or for a sleepover with your other friends. ohh, and when your friends talk about personal but not private stuff, be mindful that she may not be able to follow whats going on, so give her a little context (E.G if one friend starts talking about "Martha" for example, you can tell the new friend that "Martha" is your other friends young sister. Or if your friend talks about her music exam that she has coming up, tell your new friend that your other friend plays the flute, and to what grade etc)
0
reply
username360639
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#8
Report 4 years ago
#8
(Original post by Mysterio111)
There is a girl n my University year, who sits by herself often at lunch. She has asked if she can sit with me and my friends in future and I said 'of course!'. So what can I do to make sure she feels included and cared for?
Such a nice thing to do . When you guys are talking about a topic or something if she just sits there quietly try to get her involved by asking her opinion...Or just in general if you and your mates know nothing about her try to get to know her better.
0
reply
Mysterio111
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#9
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#9
(Original post by SilverOcean)
Hey!

Honestly, when she comes and sits with you just make and efforts to give her a space where shes included in to the group and not like sort of sits outside. look at her body language, and smile at her occasionally, ask her questions. once she starts to open, introduce a little more contact, like a little fist bump or something. but not too much. The key thing is to see if shes smiling. She wont start getting involved in the conversation completely the first time around but any progress is great. um yea, I think this should help her! The fact that she approached you is already a sign that shes comfortable around you so don't worry too much.

PS. Dont focus all the attention on her, it can be a little scary.

Hope I helped, I tend to ramble a little.
Kirn x
Thank you for the advice! I will do my best!
0
reply
Mysterio111
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#10
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#10
(Original post by Loafing.Charizard)
Such a nice thing to do . When you guys are talking about a topic or something if she just sits there quietly try to get her involved by asking her opinion...Or just in general if you and your mates know nothing about her try to get to know her better.
Thank you for the advice!
0
reply
Mysterio111
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#11
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#11
(Original post by schmuur)
You sound so lovely! I think just treat her like everyone else in your friendship group. Invite her to the cinema or for a sleepover with your other friends. ohh, and when your friends talk about personal but not private stuff, be mindful that she may not be able to follow whats going on, so give her a little context (E.G if one friend starts talking about "Martha" for example, you can tell the new friend that "Martha" is your other friends young sister. Or if your friend talks about her music exam that she has coming up, tell your new friend that your other friend plays the flute, and to what grade etc)
Thank you! Those are great ideas!
0
reply
Mysterio111
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#12
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#12
(Original post by InadequateJusticex)
I agree with everything except the fist bump. OP, please don't fist bump her :lol:
Ok!
0
reply
Mysterio111
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#13
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#13
(Original post by German123)
Basically, involve her in your conversations and try to make her feel welcome.
Is there any particular way that it would be good to do this?
0
reply
German123
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#14
Report 4 years ago
#14
(Original post by Mysterio111)
Is there any particular way that it would be good to do this?
I don't know tbh but maybe you should say hi to her and then sit next to her and start a conversation. After that then you could invite your friends over.

0
reply
LawStudent30
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#15
Report 4 years ago
#15
That was a very brave thing she did by approaching a group but it sounds like you've been very welcoming and have already included her! As everyone else said, you sound very nice, not everyone would do the same!

In addition to the other tips, I would just suggest maybe trying to re-enforce it out side of university? Just a few texts / whatsapp messages etc will make her feel more included if you're worried about it. For example do you have group messages that you could add her into?

If you're arranging a night out etc then invite her along and keep her included in the plans (eg pre drink arrangements even what everyone's wearing!)

In terms of group conversations in university, I find a lot of people are unaware of their body language (eg accidentally turning their back on someone), that can make a big difference too.

Basically-- keep doing what you're doing!!
0
reply
Mysterio111
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#16
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#16
(Original post by LawStudent30)
That was a very brave thing she did by approaching a group but it sounds like you've been very welcoming and have already included her! As everyone else said, you sound very nice, not everyone would do the same!

In addition to the other tips, I would just suggest maybe trying to re-enforce it out side of university? Just a few texts / whatsapp messages etc will make her feel more included if you're worried about it. For example do you have group messages that you could add her into?

If you're arranging a night out etc then invite her along and keep her included in the plans (eg pre drink arrangements even what everyone's wearing!)

In terms of group conversations in university, I find a lot of people are unaware of their body language (eg accidentally turning their back on someone), that can make a big difference too.

Basically-- keep doing what you're doing!!
Ok! Thank you!
0
reply
Mysterio111
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#17
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#17
(Original post by German123)
I don't know tbh but maybe you should say hi to her and then sit next to her and start a conversation. After that then you could invite your friends over.

Thank you!
0
reply
German123
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#18
Report 4 years ago
#18
(Original post by Mysterio111)
Thank you!
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you made up your mind on your five uni choices?

Yes I know where I'm applying (115)
66.09%
No I haven't decided yet (35)
20.11%
Yes but I might change my mind (24)
13.79%

Watched Threads

View All