19 year old failure Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Feeling quite depressed and anxious about my future. When I was young I was an ambitious person who had high hopes but life sucked the energy out of me by 18. I had my first depression when I was 16 but now it is getting worse and worse. I never imaged my life to be like this. I did Humanities A-level when I was at 6th form but changed my mind during my gap year to access to science. I feel so pathetic when I compare my self to my fellow classmate who are now at university doing Hard science. Also between age 16-19, I pretty lived under an rock.I never been to an social club, or had real friends. I don't have Intergram, Whatapp, snapchat etc. I never socialized with others (visiting different people houses, going an night out). I don't have an license, I never had an driving lesson and don't have control over my bank account. Never been to shopping. I don't live in my own apartment and I feel I want to run away from this **** city.
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Accountsey
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#2
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Hey there, I can relate a tad. I am currently suspended from university on mental health grounds, I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and moderate depression. I am 19 years of age too, funnily enough.

Whilst I still have a few friends from high school, many of them enjoy getting drunk, I have never been into that way of socialising. When I first got anxiety (social anxiety disorder) in high school, it got to the point where I was partially mute. I have, however, always enjoyed making and observing art. Do you have any interests and hobbies that you could expand on? Dressmaking, drawing, baking and makeshift music creating are all interests that I have engaged in with my local community. The beauty of going to mixed age art classes, for instance, is that you interact with people other than your own age. Regularly talking with your parents is definitely a must, also. Talking with your parents about your feelings will help you open up to more people as you meet them.

When you feel anxious, it is very easy to live under a rock, as you described it. If you find the idea of going to local community centres to see what clubs they do, take the time to find out your forte. For example, you could take an afternoon away and practice cooking from recipes.
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ewanharv
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Dude!

This was a tough read, and I feel your pain, but let me try and help you!

Just to correct you in a brutally harsh way first: life is not something that just happens to you, and if that's your mindset then you're gonna have a bad time and it looks like you are. More accurately I guess something happened that 'sucked the life out of you' but you need to pretend it didn't happen, the past is the past! Forget what could have happened and be active, try and make the present as awesome as it can be.

The way people are happy is doing things they love and doing them often; be it sport, reading, socialising or even doing the crossword every bloody Sunday!

So, you need to find something you love - easier said than done, and it will take effort! Being depressed and anxious will inhibit you from discovering new things, take small steps.

Here's an idea, write down all the things you want to do, big and small. Pick one (best to start small and work up), and design a 'pathway' to achieving that goal! This could be a flow-chart or a recipe or some other super cliche'd thing, what ever works man!

Also read over the words you've used: "don't", "never", even "depression". Now bruh, this is the definition of glass-half-empty thinking. It may be how you feel, but focusing on the negatives sure as hell won't make you happy. I don't for one second think your life is all doom and gloom, there's a whole part of science dedicated to probability that shows that's not possible! Surround yourself with positivity, google 'motivation' if you really want, funny pictures of cats are an effective way of gaining awesomeness dude!

I'm no psychologist, but comparing yourself to others never made anyone happy, even a 'perfect' version of what you could be. If you want more expert advice, then talk to one, they are most excellent!

I would strongly recommend people - strangers, classmates, anyone! Humans - stupid as we are - are social beings. People are happy when the socialise, fact! Isolation is not cool for health bro!

You don't have social media, and truth be told that's something you're doing right! You will have way more time as a result to the things you wanna do!

Take small steps, you will be amazed how quickly your life changes for you if you change one thing - even sleeping an extra hour or going for a walk everyday!

I speak from experience, you are are not alone. If there is one more thing that I can tell you it is this:

This too shall pass, dude.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by Accountsey)
Hey there, I can relate a tad. I am currently suspended from university on mental health grounds, I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and moderate depression. I am 19 years of age too, funnily enough.

Whilst I still have a few friends from high school, many of them enjoy getting drunk, I have never been into that way of socialising. When I first got anxiety (social anxiety disorder) in high school, it got to the point where I was partially mute. I have, however, always enjoyed making and observing art. Do you have any interests and hobbies that you could expand on? Dressmaking, drawing, baking and makeshift music creating are all interests that I have engaged in with my local community. The beauty of going to mixed age art classes, for instance, is that you interact with people other than your own age. Regularly talking with your parents is definitely a must, also. Talking with your parents about your feelings will help you open up to more people as you meet them.

When you feel anxious, it is very easy to live under a rock, as you described it. If you find the idea of going to local community centres to see what clubs they do, take the time to find out your forte. For example, you could take an afternoon away and practice cooking from recipes.
Thank you for replying back. I had these anxieties before but now it's getting worse. It almost like Migraine headache, every time I get up I feel sick mentally. I feel like an 95 year old who just want to die in his long sleep. The coursework from my access course is piling up and I am not getting the grades I need. I want to live independently from my parents but don't have the money to do. I do have hobbies. I like studying history, drawing and I wish to do gym and Asian martial arts to relieve the stress. I have an clear goal, to become an ordinary biologist but the ambition has been sucked away from. I fear the best part of my life 16-18 has been robbed from me.
I am sorry for your anxiety problems. What caused it?
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by ewanharv)
Dude!

This was a tough read, and I feel your pain, but let me try and help you!

Just to correct you in a brutally harsh way first: life is not something that just happens to you, and if that's your mindset then you're gonna have a bad time and it looks like you are. More accurately I guess something happened that 'sucked the life out of you' but you need to pretend it didn't happen, the past is the past! Forget what could have happened and be active, try and make the present as awesome as it can be.

The way people are happy is doing things they love and doing them often; be it sport, reading, socialising or even doing the crossword every bloody Sunday!

So, you need to find something you love - easier said than done, and it will take effort! Being depressed and anxious will inhibit you from discovering new things, take small steps.

Here's an idea, write down all the things you want to do, big and small. Pick one (best to start small and work up), and design a 'pathway' to achieving that goal! This could be a flow-chart or a recipe or some other super cliche'd thing, what ever works man!

Also read over the words you've used: "don't", "never", even "depression". Now bruh, this is the definition of glass-half-empty thinking. It may be how you feel, but focusing on the negatives sure as hell won't make you happy. I don't for one second think your life is all doom and gloom, there's a whole part of science dedicated to probability that shows that's not possible! Surround yourself with positivity, google 'motivation' if you really want, funny pictures of cats are an effective way of gaining awesomeness dude!

I'm no psychologist, but comparing yourself to others never made anyone happy, even a 'perfect' version of what you could be. If you want more expert advice, then talk to one, they are most excellent!

I would strongly recommend people - strangers, classmates, anyone! Humans - stupid as we are - are social beings. People are happy when the socialise, fact! Isolation is not cool for health bro!

You don't have social media, and truth be told that's something you're doing right! You will have way more time as a result to the things you wanna do!

Take small steps, you will be amazed how quickly your life changes for you if you change one thing - even sleeping an extra hour or going for a walk everyday!

I speak from experience, you are are not alone. If there is one more thing that I can tell you it is this:

This too shall pass, dude.
Thank you very much. I will take your advice seriously.
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Accountsey
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for replying back. I had these anxieties before but now it's getting worse. It almost like Migraine headache, every time I get up I feel sick mentally. I feel like an 95 year old who just want to die in his long sleep. The coursework from my access course is piling up and I am not getting the grades I need. I want to live independently from my parents but don't have the money to do. I do have hobbies. I like studying history, drawing and I wish to do gym and Asian martial arts to relieve the stress. I have an clear goal, to become an ordinary biologist but the ambition has been sucked away from. I fear the best part of my life 16-18 has been robbed from me.
I am sorry for your anxiety problems. What caused it?
It sounds very simplistic, but have you recently updated your parents on your current situation? My parents are immensely supportive of whatever I do. If you don't feel comfortable confiding in your parents, there are ALWAYS people who you can talk to. We have a young persons' advisory centre who help anyone from 6 to 25 - It isn't exclusive to children alone. Also, have you tried going to your college about everything? I was pleasantly surprised today when I went to my programme leader about my current situation. Sure, it takes a lot of confidence when you suffer from anxiety like us, but bringing someone with you, albeit a parent or a college advisor, definitely helped me. I asked my mother to tag along with me.

There's no problems in reliving your 16-18 years, though, seriously. You may not like to drink, but going to the likes of art classes to meet new people works wonders. Also, I would recommend volunteering at a charity shop or something similar when you are on top of your access course. Even if it is one day, they really appreciate the help. This will get you to a point where you can approach and talk to people, making connections.

My anxiety problems are quite complex, I first started suffering from anxiety at 6 years of age. I was petrified that someone lived in my wardrobe and often had vivid nightmares of them coming to kill me. Ever since then, it's been an on/off battle with anxiety and now depression.
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CherryWine
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Feeling quite depressed and anxious about my future. When I was young I was an ambitious person who had high hopes but life sucked the energy out of me by 18. I had my first depression when I was 16 but now it is getting worse and worse. I never imaged my life to be like this. I did Humanities A-level when I was at 6th form but changed my mind during my gap year to access to science. I feel so pathetic when I compare my self to my fellow classmate who are now at university doing Hard science. Also between age 16-19, I pretty lived under an rock.I never been to an social club, or had real friends. I don't have Intergram, Whatapp, snapchat etc. I never socialized with others (visiting different people houses, going an night out). I don't have an license, I never had an driving lesson and don't have control over my bank account. Never been to shopping. I don't live in my own apartment and I feel I want to run away from this **** city.
1. Get control of your bank account.
2. Don't compare, you will get better and your life will get better, it will just take a little longer to do so.
3. See a doctor, help is on offer for depression and anxiety for a reason. You can't live your life feeling like this.
4. It doesn't matter about your past, what matters is your future.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CherryWine)
1. Get control of your bank account.
2. Don't compare, you will get better and your life will get better, it will just take a little longer to do so.
3. See a doctor, help is on offer for depression and anxiety for a reason. You can't live your life feeling like this.
4. It doesn't matter about your past, what matters is your future.
It quite more complicated....
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CherryWine
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It quite more complicated....
Are you ok with saying why?
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TheStoryteller
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#10
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This is literally me as well I'm almost 19 and on a gap year after delaying my A Level exams by a year because I was way too depressed/anxious about everything last year, so much so that it became extremely worrying and unhealthy.

The only thing that seems to have helped me is writing this list of things I look forward to in the future and pinning it with a magnet onto my small white board so that I can look at it whenever I'm at my worst. I can't say it has helped a lot and has kept me motivated but it does help to up your mood.

Other than that, hang in there. Anxiety is awful. I've suffered from it since when I was 5/6 especially when it came to academics, and since I basically define all my self worth solely on academics, it's a tough circle to break out of.

Always remember you are not a failure. I have a horrible tendency to always compare myself as well. I know it's hard not to do especially when you find yourself in this situation but remember that other people might not have anxiety and have it a bit easier for them because they can live their life not worrying about everything. You are already stronger than them for waking up every day, fully knowing that "it"'s going to be there. Don't underestimate your abilities.

Remember, the future is brighter than you think. One day you'll be looking back at your life now and think, "Wow, I overcame that. I can literally do anything." because let's face it, if you can defeat the monsters that are anxiety and depression, you can definitely defeat anything.

Edit: I can also confirm that you did not miss anything at all by not being part of any social media. I was so into things like Tumblr that I quite literally closed myself off from the world because it became my comfort zone, which is also very unhealthy so you are better than all of us for resisting the temptation to join.
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kieran101090
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Feeling quite depressed and anxious about my future. When I was young I was an ambitious person who had high hopes but life sucked the energy out of me by 18. I had my first depression when I was 16 but now it is getting worse and worse. I never imaged my life to be like this. I did Humanities A-level when I was at 6th form but changed my mind during my gap year to access to science. I feel so pathetic when I compare my self to my fellow classmate who are now at university doing Hard science. Also between age 16-19, I pretty lived under an rock.I never been to an social club, or had real friends. I don't have Intergram, Whatapp, snapchat etc. I never socialized with others (visiting different people houses, going an night out). I don't have an license, I never had an driving lesson and don't have control over my bank account. Never been to shopping. I don't live in my own apartment and I feel I want to run away from this **** city.
Sounds like ur depression is incomparable to mine as ur having it not long ago. I am having it for 18yrs if i am right. I am living in the hope of 0.0001% that I 'd be happy some day and I know it'll come. Worth a wait, isn't it!! Hey if u r depressed let it out, cry out or what not but always wish a hope on urself.

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