Funny poetry contest! Watch
'Twas on the good ship Venus
My God, you should have seen us
A whore in bed for a figurehead
And a mast of the phallic genus
Our captain's name was Morgan
He was a grisly Gorgon
From half past eight he played till late
Upon the first mate's organ.
The captain's wife was Mabel
And by God was she able
To give the crew their daily screw
Upon the wardroom table.
The captain's lovely daughter
Was washed into the water
And by her squeals we knew that eels
Had found her sexual quarters.
The purser's name was Andy
He was a dirty dandy
With molten brass they filled his arse
For pissing in the brandy.
The ship's dog was called Rover
And they turned that poor thing over
And ground and ground that faithful hound
From Singapore to Dover!
The ship's whore's name was Lister
The boys sure loved to test her
In her pussy thick they jammed their pricks
And left them there to fester.
The ship's cook's name was Freeman
He was a bloody demon
He fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen.
The cook's mate's name was Halley
He didn't dilly-dally
He shot his bolt with such a jolt
It whitewashed half the galley.