The subject of 'girls' makes me feel so inadequate Watch

le_darkhorse
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#1
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I'm now 23 and all my life I've struggled with girls, yet I have ended up having approximately 15/16 one night stands and possible another 5-10 girls which wasn't full sex. Many of these were girls from clubs etc To be completely honest many of them were not easy on the eye, and I either I took up the se because I was desperate or horny or both. Yet some, but very few, were very pretty. Possibly only one girl in those 15/16 could be counted as someone I 'dated'.

But the problem of girls has intensified at Uni. It's always the 'loud' guys who get the girls attention. I don't know what has happened this year but I'm losing all my confidence with girls, because I'm so tired of bad experiences and failed tries. It seems being myself has never been good enough for any serious girl because I can only assume I'm more quiet than your typical brash confident guy, yet I'm not some unconfident guy. Yet around me I see my mates get lucky and/or do well. I don't get a chance to meet many girls on my course for some reason. It's always the same faces.

I don't know what I'm getting at really. It's not even a good idea to mention how at 23 I feel about this, other than it's dragging me down immensely. I feel utterly dejected and helpless with women now for reasons even I cannot comprehend. Tons of questions go through my head. Am I too picky? Am I too boring? Am I this am i that and the truth is I haven't got a ****ing clue. I've come to the point in my life now where the one night stands are something I don't enjoy so much anymore, yet I for whatever reason cannot find a serious girl who even seems interested in me (or at least not obvious to me). Yes, I have had some brief interest at uni in this first year but it would just be nice for once in my life to have a nice pretty, warm hearted and ambitious girl, someone desirable to actually like me genuinely and want to go out with me. To have a nice girl take an interest in me - becuase there's nothing obvious to my eye that makes me a dour person or something like that. Ii just don't understand what I'm doing wrong to not be able to achieve something so simple.

I'm utterly tired of feeling like an abject failure with girls. I would need to expand more on this post such as the aspects of University which make it difficult etc, but it would be to long and noone would read - so I've tried to just get straight to the point.

Where can I go for help?
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Anonymous #1
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Report 4 years ago
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Look on the bright side, at least you have slept with women and had one night stands. The last time i touched a woman was 4 years ago. I'm 24 and have never had a girl like me or want to be with me.

The last girl i arranged to meet with showed up 3 hours late. You're so much better than me mate.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 4 years ago
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Not going to lie I have the same problem but the other way round as I'm female. Guys are only interested in me when they're drunk or they behave like complete idiots to me sober. I'm 21 and even been in a relationship and have been on a grand total of 3 dates and had a few drunken one night stands - really sucks as all my mates are getting into relationships atm
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jazjaz
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After 15 one night stands I think you should probably realise you are looking for women in the wrong places... As a rule of thumb you are not going to meet quality women after the sun sets where alcohol is served unless it's a nice restaurant or function. Out of the ones you slept with you might be surprised that some of them were after more or were lonely or insecure and needing validation. If you don't get to meet any women on your course then you need to widen your horizons. In fact, I would dissuade you from dating someone on your course as you want to lead separate lives to them and go outside your circle.

You can try societies on campus they are always great for meeting new people, get involved in events, networking and volunteering on campus. Even better go wider than uni and try meetup.com groups and events in your city and even online dating (try match yes you have to pay but avoid POF and tinder). Check what places are local to you and see what's going on there. For example near me there are museums and galleries which have events, arts students often have pop up galleries and performances for example, there are lots of science talks, meditation classes.. I actually live near the British Library so that's great for meeting people!... When you really think about it the possibilities are endless! You really need to get out there there is nothing wrong with you but at the same time you need to realise that you have to go to the women and where the women are, they aren't just going to come to you.

You are good enough and the odds are probably in your favour there are many more young girls than want serious relationships than young guys in my experience. Good luck.
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