Are my friends really my friends? Watch
Anyway so I drifted over to another friendship group, one that was formed through studying GCSE drama and attending a drama group after school. I’d spoke to them all before, but just never really hung out with them outside of lessons etc. At first they were all fantastic, no trouble at all. But towards the end of the year things started to change. Every single decision I made was criticised, every single point I added to a conversation was wrong. If I went after a girl, they would make it publicly known, even when I’d asked them to keep it between us. I literally can’t tell them any confidential information because before I know it everybody knows.
Now I admit that I’ve made some mistakes in the last couple of years, and I held my hand up and either apologised or admitted I was wrong, but my friends won’t let anything go. They bring up everything from the past on a weekly basis, even if I ask them not to. Like pretty much the whole of my year group know my past because they’ve gone round and told people and it’s been passed on. Sometimes they get personal too. I’m quite skinny and lanky so I get comments like “be careful he might snap”. The worst thing is they know they’re doing it, they make comments like “ah you get the worst banter out of all of us”. It's almost like its just the norm now to take the mick out of me at every opportunity.
Other people (some teachers that I'm close to included) have picked up on the amount of stick I get and constantly ask if I'm okay. But theres not anything they could do because If I did ask them for help can you imagine the amount of stick I would get for it?
I do my best to hide it but it does affect me. It just makes me feel awful all the time, like I’m being trapped by them, not being able to move a muscle without them commenting on it. I honestly feel like they’re controlling my life. I’ve lost all confidence in myself in the past year and it’s mostly down to them. I have said to them before that I think this “Banter” of theirs goes too far quite often and that I’d like them not to be mentioned, but that only makes them joke about not being able to mention it so I just gave up with that too. I don’t really have any other good friends apart from these people.
Are these people really my friends? Or am I being too soft and blowing this out of proportion?
Thanks in advance for any responses..