What is a good personality? Watch

Mike9910
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Can someone define it for me?

You can't have a conversation on controversial subjects such as the importance of looks or money in dating, in any forum really not just TSR, without it being derailed by cries that "personality matters more than looks [or insert some other superficial metric]".

Well I've searched for the meaning of a "good personality" far and wide. I've asked my friends. I've Googled for it. Yet I still can't find a useful definition of just what is a good personality.

Note: my criteria for defining a "good personality" requires it to explain how a "good personality" helps people form sexual relationships. That is, since we're talking about relationships that go beyond a platonic nature then in this context a good personality would have to be one that somehow aides the formation of these relationships, it can't simply be about making friends. No one is saying a good personality won't help you make friends.

This is leaving me to suspect when people mention a good personality they generally mean a collection of affable and cooperative traits that might make a relationship more enjoyable. It will also help you make friends. It however won't help you attract that hottie in the bar, or that girl you like in the back row of the lecture threatre. So why do some (most?) suggest a "good personality" is some kind of magic bullet more powerful than a beautiful face or a big bank balance?

I get it: we like to mollycoddle those who ask for advice and seem sad, but surely no advice is better than bad advice?

You can't open a single relationship based thread where someone who struggles with dating is not told to "work on their personality" (translation: it's not your looks, it's who you are that is the problem.)or worse still to "increase their confidence".

These people would have been so much better off if they had of taken tangible action: got a better style/fashion, gone to the gym, fixed their skin texture/got a tan, got a car or a better job etc. All these things are possible in the time many spend mulling over how to "improve" vague, intangible metrics like confidence or personality in a visually driven, shallow world like ours.
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Juicy J
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(Original post by Mike9910)
Can someone define it for me?

You can't have a conversation on controversial subjects such as the importance of looks or money in dating, in any forum really not just TSR, without it being derailed by cries that "personality matters more than looks [or insert some other superficial metric]".

Well I've searched for the meaning of a "good personality" far and wide. I've asked my friends. I've Googled for it. Yet I still can't find a useful definition of just what is a good personality.

Note: my criteria for defining a "good personality" requires it to explain how a "good personality" helps people form sexual relationships. That is, since we're talking about relationships that go beyond a platonic nature then in this context a good personality would have to be one that somehow aides the formation of these relationships, it can't simply be about making friends. No one is saying a good personality won't help you make friends.

This is leaving me to suspect when people mention a good personality they generally mean a collection of affable and cooperative traits that might make a relationship more enjoyable. It will also help you make friends. It however won't help you attract that hottie in the bar, or that girl you like in the back row of the lecture threatre. So why do some (most?) suggest a "good personality" is some kind of magic bullet more powerful than a beautiful face or a big bank balance?

I get it: we like to mollycoddle those who ask for advice and seem sad, but surely no advice is better than bad advice?

You can't open a single relationship based thread where someone who struggles with dating is not told to "work on their personality" (translation: it's not your looks, it's who you are that is the problem.)or worse still to "increase their confidence".

These people would have been so much better off if they had of taken tangible action: got a better style/fashion, gone to the gym, fixed their skin texture/got a tan, got a car or a better job etc. All these things are possible in the time many spend mulling over how to "improve" vague, intangible metrics like confidence or personality in a visually driven, shallow world like ours.
I'll start off by making one thing clear. Looks and money are EVRYTHING when it comes to dating. That is a fact. Good looks and money bring you success, power, status and attention. EVERY woman wants a rich, handsome man. This is more important than absolutely everything else. Fact. Personality doesn't really play a big part in forming sexual relationships, looks and money supplant everything else.

Let me address the topic of your thread. A good personality is apparent upon meeting someone and talking to them. It's clearly apparent, it's not something that's hidden. It's about being a smooth talker. Someone who can talk at ease, with clarity, with charisma, with confidence and with a good dose of humour. Everyone likes someone who's got interesting stories to tell or funny jokes to tell. Everyone likes a person who makes them laugh. That's what a good personality entails. Being funny, likeable and able to get on easily with people. Knowing exactly what to say, saying the right thing at the right moment. It's a calculated strategy, you either have it or you don't.

Let me just clarify that a good personality is NOT what attracts women. Women are attracted to rich, handsome men. They have a real lust for money. I can't emphasise this enough, people choose to deny this basic fact and that puzzles me. Having a good personality is just a bonus, it helps things move along a little more easily. But what's REALLY going to get you a woman is money and looks (and height and muscle). Can't say it enough times.

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Protégé
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(Original post by Juicy J)
I'll start off by making one thing clear. Looks and money are EVRYTHING when it comes to dating. That is a fact. Good looks and money bring you success, power, status and attention. EVERY woman wants a rich, handsome man. This is more important than absolutely everything else. Fact. Personality doesn't really play a big part in forming sexual relationships, looks and money supplant everything else.

Let me address the topic of your thread. A good personality is apparent upon meeting someone and talking to them. It's clearly apparent, it's not something that's hidden. It's about being a smooth talker. Someone who can talk at ease, with clarity, with charisma, with confidence and with a good dose of humour. Everyone likes someone who's got interesting stories to tell or funny jokes to tell. Everyone likes a person who makes them laugh. That's what a good personality entails. Being funny, likeable and able to get on easily with people. Knowing exactly what to say, saying the right thing at the right moment. It's a calculated strategy, you either have it or you don't.

Let me just clarify that a good personality is NOT what attracts women. Women are attracted to rich, handsome men. They have a real lust for money. I can't emphasise this enough, people choose to deny this basic fact and that puzzles me. Having a good personality is just a bonus, it helps things move along a little more easily. But what's REALLY going to get you a woman is money and looks (and height and muscle). Can't say it enough times.

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That, my friend, is rubbish. Personality is a large factor, believe me. For both men and women, I've been very turned off by personality and I know that some girls I know have.
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Yeah dude
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Yeah, every woman except we know who, sometimes it's BS


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Juicy J
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(Original post by Protégé)
That, my friend, is rubbish. Personality is a large factor, believe me. For both men and women, I've been very turned off by personality and I know that some girls I know have.
Personality only becomes a relevant (compensating) factor if you're not rich and not handsome. For your average everyday guy, he's going to need a strong personality to attract women.Looks and money bring you power, status and women. This is very basic stuff
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JAndrade1
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I mean, it would be pretty naive to claim that a guy's physical appearance and financial situation don't play a role in whether or not they're found appealing.

I feel that those are a major starting point, obviously, as you can assess someone's looks before their personality. However, those are very shallow means of choosing a partner. Like, what idiot goes "Yeah, I got with Mark because he's tan and fit" soley. There's more to it, and that's where personality kicks in.

Loads of people can be decent looking, but if they have nothing in common with you, are unintelligent, vulgar, unkind, lack conversational skills (traits of a "bad" personality) chances are that you won't get passed an initial phase.

I might be idealistic, but I hope that if it was done to a choice between a person with a "good" personality who was slightly less attractive and an attractive person with the personality of a brick wall, the former would be chosen.

But personalities are wholly subjective. What I might find "good" someone else may find crap. It's just an amalgamation of qualities that you personally find appealing.
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hdindak
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(Original post by Juicy J)
Personality only becomes a relevant (compensating) factor if you're not rich and not handsome. For your average everyday guy, he's going to need a strong personality to attract women.Looks and money bring you power, status and women. This is very basic stuff
you're so ignorant
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Yeah dude
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(Original post by Juicy J)
Personality only becomes a relevant (compensating) factor if you're not rich and not handsome. For your average everyday guy, he's going to need a strong personality to attract women.Looks and money bring you power, status and women. This is very basic stuff
It's not really a game dude, it's not really about how much power or women you have anymore, it's 2015 not 1589 or whatever freakin year the iStone was released


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Jibola240
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Depends on the person. Very subjective. I agree that advice like "work on your personality" is
too vague and often doesn't help answer the question of how to be more attractive.
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CherryWine
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(Original post by Yeah dude)
It's not really a game dude, it's not really about how much power or women you have anymore, it's 2015 not 1589 or whatever freakin year the iStone was released


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Lol 1583 if I recall correctly
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Yeah dude
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(Original post by CherryWine)
Lol 1583 if I recall correctly
The customer support was soooooo bad back then


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JAndrade1
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https://youtu.be/ERMv2-qNpLU

Someone posted this on another thread. I only watched up to 6 mins but it seems somewhat relevant.
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CherryWine
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(Original post by Yeah dude)
The customer support was soooooo bad back then


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Hasn't improved much, could've sent a message in a bottle via the Atlantic ocean and received a reply during the time I was put on hold the other day
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Yeah dude
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(Original post by CherryWine)
Hasn't improved much, could've sent a message in a bottle via the Atlantic ocean and received a reply during the time I was put on hold the other day
But the earth WAS flat back then, which made travelling a lot easier, there were also fewer countries too


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CherryWine
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(Original post by Yeah dude)
But the earth WAS flat back then, which made travelling a lot easier, there were also fewer countries too


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Wtf do you mean the earth was flat back then, the earth is flat now you idiotic fool
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Yeah dude
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(Original post by CherryWine)
Wtf do you mean the earth was flat back then, the earth is flat now you idiotic fool
Now I'm gonna get beheaded and write a book, be sure to call in so I can give you an autograph and a mixtape too


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CherryWine
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(Original post by Yeah dude)
Now I'm gonna get beheaded and write a book, be sure to call in so I can give you an autograph and a mixtape too


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http://cdn.meme.li/instances/300x300/56679180.jpg
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Protégé
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(Original post by Juicy J)
Personality only becomes a relevant (compensating) factor if you're not rich and not handsome. For your average everyday guy, he's going to need a strong personality to attract women.Looks and money bring you power, status and women. This is very basic stuff
Even if you're rich and handsome any decent woman would reject you if you have a repulsive personality.
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