Saying no to a date

How do i tell someone i dont want to go on a date with him without hurting his feelings or using the pathetic cliches. I really do want to be friends with him, but would that be impossible if i turn him down?

Reply 1

Crimson Black

13

In what context? What sort of date has he asked you on? The best way is to go on the date and simply explain that you're not interesting in him "that way". It may be embarrassing, but it's necessary, unless you want him to get the wrong impression.

Reply 2

Crazster

16

If its asked in a low key way, invite friends along so he knows its in that sense to you.

Reply 3

chupacabras

1

You have to work, you have an essay that needs to be handed in, you already have plans, your'e going home for the weekend/whatever, they're the only ones I can remember but theres plenty more excuses out there. Or as has been suggested, just tell him youre not interested.

If you turn him down it depends how you do it and how he takes it, it may be possible to be friends, maybe not.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Well he asked me to the cinema (over myspace lol) and i havent replied yet because i have no idea what to say. He didn't say a specific day either he just said "some time" so i cant really say i'm busy, and he will probably see me out on monday for student night so he will know it was a lie. Anyone got any other excuses which dont sount too lame?

Reply 5

britishseapower

14

Anonymous

Well he asked me to the cinema (over myspace lol) and i havent replied yet because i have no idea what to say. He didn't say a specific day either he just said "some time" so i cant really say i'm busy, and he will probably see me out on monday for student night so he will know it was a lie. Anyone got any other excuses which dont sount too lame?

there is no obligation to go out with someone who you go the cinema with

Reply 6

britishseapower

14

just say something like 'a single lad like you doesn't wanna be hanging around with me, you will never meet anyone, they will all think I'm your girlfriend'

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

He made it clear that it would be a date though and i dont want him to think i am interested in that way. Dont want to give him false hope.
I will give rep to the best excuse....seriously i am desperate, i have ignored the message for 24 hours and he knows i've been online today because he was online at the same time.

Reply 8

britishseapower

14

just say it, it is pointless trying to think up the perfect excuse but there isn't one, if you don't like him, you don't like him, just say sorry, I don't like you in that way, it's not easy or nice thing to do but your only other option is to string him along by giving him some misleading excuse

Reply 9

britishseapower

14

if he asked you out online, there is nothing wrong with rebutting him online, you don't have to see his reaction, hell, I'll tell him and you can copy and paste my words, he won't know any different

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

britishseapower

if he asked you out online, there is nothing wrong with rebutting him online, you don't have to see his reaction, hell, I'll tell him and you can copy and paste my words, he won't know any different

Ok so what should i say? Sorry i'm not used to this kind of thing as you can probably tell.

Reply 11

britishseapower

14

I'm not, just use common sense/your imagination 'Thanks for inviting me to the cinema and I know this might sound a bit cliche but there is no other way to say it, I like you as a friend but I don't want to have a relationship with you' in fact that sounds crap but hey, I'm a guy and I have very limited dating experience, I don't know how to say it, you know him better than me and the full circumstances e.t.c. I'm sure you can think of something

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

'It's so nice of you to ask me, I'd really like to go to the cinema with you but it'd probably be best if we just go as mates, as I like someone else/am not ready for a relationship right now/insert any reason you like' (make one up if necessary!).

Reply 13

britishseapower

14

don't say your not ready for a relationship because if you are looking and a potential boyfriend comes along and you get with him and your still mates with this lad, he will feel pretty betrayed, only say it if you mean it.

Reply 14

britishseapower

14

putting that aside, what you said was fine, much better worded than mine, see it's all in your head yourself if you just look for it, you don't need a 20 year old virgin who hasn't had a bird in 4 years to give you dating advice

Reply 15

rosetinted

2

Just figure out something to say for yourself. Don't use someone else's words..tell him what you feel, not what people on a forum think you feel.

Reply 16

Evil-Tuna

2

''i really want to be friends with him and dont want to hurt his feelings'' dear God, you're a walking cliche. So much for ''no pathetic cliches.''

His feelings will be hurt by that, no matter how you say it.

Reply 17

britishseapower

14

Cuddles

His feelings will be hurt by that, no matter how you say it.

I know what your doing but I'll comment anyway, you can't please everyone

Reply 18

CheesyBeans

1

Anonymous

Well he asked me to the cinema (over myspace lol) and i havent replied yet because i have no idea what to say. He didn't say a specific day either he just said "some time" so i cant really say i'm busy, and he will probably see me out on monday for student night so he will know it was a lie. Anyone got any other excuses which dont sount too lame?

Tell him you're seeing someone called Noel.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

ok i told him a blatant lie. I said i am kind of seeing someone at the moment. I know, pathetic but it gets me off the hook without him getting offended or anything.

Saying no to a date

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