My friend is struggling Watch

the math freak
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#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Here is the situation (Real Life Story) :
I met Peter (not real name) in my course at University and we have been close friends for almost a year. During this 1 year, I have noticed that Peter is very hard working in university but he is very very shy (understandable), very negative and a pessimistic and generally, not happy.
We had a long conversation with him and why he acts like this. Thats when he told us his story that he faces problems at Home and he is unable to tell his parents nor his siblings that he had suffered from bullying in high school.
We have tried our best to get him out of his home, where he constantly gets nagged by his parents for not achieving the best and being a loser, so that he can have fun with us, but he would never be allowed.

Any advice that this amazing community would give me so that I can pass it on to him?

I care for him and I am sure, there are more people like him around the world, it shouldnt be like this.
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German123
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Everyone has been in this position at some point in their life.

All parents want the best for their kids hence why they stress over them so much.

Edit: Just be reassuring because getting bad grades is simply and truly not the end of the world.
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scotttb
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(Original post by the math freak)
s, but he would never be allowed.
Well, as always, lets start here.

Why exactly, and by who, would he "never be allowed."
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the math freak
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(Original post by scotttb)
Well, as always, lets start here.

Why exactly, and by who, would he "never be allowed."
Why? Peter said, "His mom fears that he will be recruited" I was like what does that mean. He said "like joining ISIS". Probably cause we are brown skinned. By who? He meant his parents.
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Killer Bean
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Good on you for having this attitude! The world could do with more people like you.

Sucks about his parents being that strict (they're Asian, aren't they? ), and that he still lives with them. I had pretty similar problems to him but thankfully I moved pretty far away from university and those have dissolved by now.

I don't know what this guy wants from life so all that I can really advice is that, of course, you should continue to generally be a good friend to him. That being said, it looks to me as though his parents need to understand their son is an adult, and should be able to live as one. I guess he should be talking to his parents about this: going out at night is almost an indispensable part of life and university is a particularly appropriate time to do this - his parents need to understand that.
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sydneybridge
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He needs to go and see your Uni counselling service.

You cannot solve someone else's mental health problems single-handed, but you can encourage him to get some help. One in three people have mental health issues at some point in their lives and being at Uni/leaving home is a common moment for some of these sort of issues to surface.

Hold his hand, be sympathetic and help him make an appointment to see someone soon. Go with him for the appointment if he'll let you as this will encourage him not to back out at the last minute. Support, and encourage. Thats what friends are for.
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