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Are the old concepts of love, commitment and relationships dead?

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Love, commitment and relationships are old-fashioned social constructs that have no place or real value in life. Think of it as an annoying, over-played pop song on some annoying radio station. It's drilled into people's minds by the media, especially cinema, television, magazine and social media. It's...

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I'm a feminist and in a happy, committed, monogamous, relationship with a man. I think I missed the memo that stated that feminist beliefs demanded women only have sexual relationships with men. :tongue:

As for the actual topic, I believe as views become more liberal and progressive, we are starting to see relationships that are non-traditional. And if people are consenting and happy with polyamorous relationships then that's fine. :smile:
Original post by The Reasoner
Being straight has nothing to do with being in a relationship, you can still have sex with the opposite gender without being in a relationship with them. I believe open relationships will be the majority in the future, either that or men that do want to marry will look to the east to find a more suitable partner. Or they'll just remain single. Let's face it most women in the west are not worth marrying anyway and a lot of them will end up like your username, lonely cat owners who went through life fighting against men and coming out with things like "I don't need no man i'm independant" "Women are so oppressed". Those are the types that end up alone, I wish you the best of luck. :smile:


Okay so it's pretty clear you didn't make this thread for a discussion, but whatever.
Relationships where sex is the only goal are (for most people) largely unfulfilling - if we encourage a culture devoid of love or emotional commitment we'll all end up 'lonely cat owners'.
As for your comments about western women being 'unsuitable', I'm curious as to why you believe women need to pander to mens' desire. I think if you can manage to prise your head out your arse you'll realise relationships are two-way.
As for me, I'm in a happy, committed relationship, so you can keep your luck.
Original post by chocoholic_x
I'm a feminist and in a happy, committed, monogamous, relationship with a man. I think I missed the memo that stated that feminist beliefs demanded women only have sexual relationships with men. :tongue:

As for the actual topic, I believe as views become more liberal and progressive, we are starting to see relationships that are non-traditional. And if people are consenting and happy with polyamorous relationships then that's fine. :smile:


Do you see open and poly relationships becoming the majority of all relationships in the next decade or more, or do you believe the more old fashioned method of one on one monogamy will still be the norm?
But I love my boyfriend and he loves me :love:
Original post by Juicy J
Love, commitment and relationships are old-fashioned social constructs that have no place or real value in life. Think of it as an annoying, over-played pop song on some annoying radio station. It's drilled into people's minds by the media, especially cinema, television, magazine and social media. It's...

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I agree sir, I believe most men should either remain single or be in open relationships. I don't believe any western woman is capable of true love or commitment and thus men will need to adjust to this notion.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by The Reasoner
I agree sir, I believe most men should either remain single or be in open relationships. I don't believe any western woman is capable of true love or commitment and thus men will need to adjust to this concept.


Spot on. I completely agree with you, I like the way you think. As men, all we need is sex without all the headaches and hassle that go with being in a relationship. Can't expect a woman to commit, so I don't bother. I always have a backup plan.
Original post by Juicy J
Spot on. I completely agree with you, I like the way you think. As men, all we need is sex without all the headaches and hassle that go with being in a relationship. Can't expect a woman to commit, so I don't bother. I always have a backup plan.


Agreed, it is after all in our nature to spread our seed with multiple women. This coupled with the fact women are hypergamous by nature makes the whole idea of love and commitment in a relationship utterly pointless.
Original post by The Reasoner
Agreed, it is after all in our nature to spread our seed with multiple women. This coupled with the fact women are hypergamous by nature makes the whole idea of love and commitment in a relationship utterly pointless.


It's like you're inside my head, thinking my thoughts. Agreed once again. This social construct that we know as 'love'...it's not feasible in this society considering the current female populace. We have to adjust to take hypergamy into account as you said, save yourself a lot of time and heartache in the process.
Original post by The Reasoner
Do you see open and poly relationships becoming the majority of all relationships in the next decade or more, or do you believe the more old fashioned method of one on one monogamy will still be the norm?


Although I think they are becoming increasingly in fashion, I am not sure whether they will become the norm. It's fantastic that people can have healthy polyamorous relationships but for other people, I feel jealousy might become a common problem. A lot of people can't see themselves being in non-monogamous relationships exactly because they don't like the idea of their partner being with someone else. And this phenomenon has its evolutionary routes in committed couples who invest a lot of resources in their own children being more likely to be successful in child-rearing. We may have become socially evolved to recognise that as consenting adults, we should have the freedom to have whatever relationships we so choose. But, I cannot see the majority of people to move past the jealousy that can come with polyamorous relationships.
Original post by Juicy J
It's like you're inside my head, thinking my thoughts. Agreed once again. This social construct that we know as 'love'...it's not feasible in this society considering the current female populace. We have to adjust to take hypergamy into account as you said, save yourself a lot of time and heartache in the process.
Great minds think alike sir. :cool:
Original post by The Reasoner
Great minds think alike sir. :cool:


Indeed they do :smile:
Original post by chocoholic_x
Although I think they are becoming increasingly in fashion, I am not sure whether they will become the norm. It's fantastic that people can have healthy polyamorous relationships but for other people, I feel jealousy might become a common problem. A lot of people can't see themselves being in non-monogamous relationships exactly because they don't like the idea of their partner being with someone else. And this phenomenon has its evolutionary routes in committed couples who invest a lot of resources in their own children being more likely to be successful in child-rearing. We may have become socially evolved to recognise that as consenting adults, we should have the freedom to have whatever relationships we so choose. But, I cannot see the majority of people to move past the jealousy that can come with polyamorous relationships.


Thanks for your response. I do feel we are seeing a huge shift into non monogamy and open relationships amongst young adults which leads me to believe this will be the majority of relationships in the future. True love and commitment between man and woman has pretty much been washed out due to the reasons I already explained as more men are beginning to learn womens true nature and choosing to be in relationships for the sole reason of getting sex from multiple women rather than fooling for the fake concept of "love" and commitment that we once believed.
Original post by The Reasoner
Thanks for your response. I do feel we are seeing a huge shift into non monogamy and open relationships amongst young adults which leads me to believe this will be the majority of relationships in the future. True love and commitment between man and woman has pretty much been washed out due to the reasons I already explained as more men are beginning to learn womens true nature and choosing to be in relationships for the sole reason of getting sex from multiple women rather than fooling for the fake concept of "love" and commitment that we once believed.


And what is this true women's nature? :rolleyes:

Regardless, I feel like completely dismissing the concept of love and commitment entirely is quite cynical. Of course, divorce rates are much higher than ever. The media do over-pressurise us to find this intangible thing called "love". I do agree that society does place too great an importance on the role of committed, heterosexual, relationships - as if that will solve all our problems. However, all this being the case, I still think, passed all the media-processed bull**** (I truly despise romance films), people can genuinely, honestly, and very happily commit themselves to just one other person. At least, I think that is where I am at now. And although this situation may change and am aware that a single analogy often does not refute a whole argument, to deny "love" as an existing concept for all, it just takes one opposing case to deem the statement untrue.
Original post by chocoholic_x
And what is this true women's nature? :rolleyes:

Regardless, I feel like completely dismissing the concept of love and commitment entirely is quite cynical. Of course, divorce rates are much higher than ever. The media do over-pressurise us to find this intangible thing called "love". I do agree that society does place too great an importance on the role of committed, heterosexual, relationships - as if that will solve all our problems. However, all this being the case, I still think, passed all the media-processed bull**** (I truly despise romance films), people can genuinely, honestly, and very happily commit themselves to just one other person. At least, I think that is where I am at now. And although this situation may change and am aware that a single analogy often does not refute a whole argument, to deny "love" as an existing concept for all, it just takes one opposing case to deem the statement untrue.
Womens true nature is hypergamy. Also everything always seems to be the mans fault in the eyes of women. If a man cheats on a woman it's because he's a lowlife pig. If a woman cheats on her man it's because the man wasn't satisfying her and the other guy made her do it. Female "logic" for you.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by The Reasoner
Womens true nature is hypergamy. Also everything always seems to be the mans fault in the eyes of women. If a man cheats on a woman it's because he's a lowlife pig. If a woman cheats on her man it's because the man wasn't satisfying her and the other guy made her do it. Female "logic" for you.


Wow, there are many troubling points about this response. I shall narrow it down to just four:

1. That you believe there is indeed a "nature of women". As if 4 billion people, with unique experiences and genetic expressions, can be generalised across so off-handedly.

2. This is even more problematic if you accept that gender is self-defining (which I believe). Since biology is not what defines a woman, the people who fall under the category of "women" are therefore linked only in as arbitrary a connection as all persons called "John" are connected. No one in their right mind would profess to have unlock the nature of Johns.

3. That you believe you know so much about a gender you have not experienced is also a perplexing one. It would be as if I were to speak for all the self-defining men, or all black people - a ridiculous notion if you consider that I am not one, nor would my single experience of being one speak for everyone else.

4. Putting the word "logic" in quotation marks after female is both offensive and unjust. This is especially the case that you have you not supported any of your statements with reason nor evidence. It is merely more of the tired, over-used rhetoric that women are incapable of rational thought or logical reasoning. Give us both the same logic test and I am fairly sure I would have the upper-hand. :smile:

I hope you can see the clear logic in what I have just said.
Original post by chocoholic_x
Wow, there are many troubling points about this response. I shall narrow it down to just four:

1. That you believe there is indeed a "nature of women". As if 4 billion people, with unique experiences and genetic expressions, can be generalised across so off-handedly.

2. This is even more problematic if you accept that gender is self-defining (which I believe). Since biology is not what defines a woman, the people who fall under the category of "women" are therefore linked only in as arbitrary a connection as all persons called "John" are connected. No one in their right mind would profess to have unlock the nature of Johns.

3. That you believe you know so much about a gender you have not experienced is also a perplexing one. It would be as if I were to speak for all the self-defining men, or all black people - a ridiculous notion if you consider that I am not one, nor would my single experience of being one speak for everyone else.

4. Putting the word "logic" in quotation marks after female is both offensive and unjust. This is especially the case that you have you not supported any of your statements with reason nor evidence. It is merely more of the tired, over-used rhetoric that women are incapable of rational thought or logical reasoning. Give us both the same logic test and I am fairly sure I would have the upper-hand. :smile:

I hope you can see the clear logic in what I have just said.
I'm simply basing it on my own experiences and from men I have spoken to and what i've read online. Theres enough evidence to suggest what i'm saying is true and it's what I and many men believe. I'm sorry but you can't sway me on this one.
Original post by The Reasoner
I'm simply basing it on my own experiences and from men I have spoken to and what i've read online. Theres enough evidence to suggest what i'm saying is true and it's what I and many men believe. I'm sorry but you can't sway me on this one.


To have an opinion which I cannot dissuade you from having, no matter what reasoning and evidence I put forward, is illogical is it not? Seems quite similar to having a blind faith, which you hold onto desperately despite the reality being the contrary, because the beliefs comfort you. :tongue:
Original post by chocoholic_x
To have an opinion which I cannot dissuade you from having, no matter what reasoning and evidence I put forward, is illogical is it not? Seems quite similar to having a blind faith, which you hold onto desperately despite the reality being the contrary, because the beliefs comfort you. :tongue:
I have my own reasoning and evidence, I prefer to stick to my beliefs however I do respect your view even if I do believe it's wrong. :smile:
Original post by The Reasoner
I have my own reasoning and evidence, I prefer to stick to my beliefs however I do respect your view even if I do believe it's wrong. :smile:


Okay, that's a shame, I wanted to dissuade you. Oh well, hardly ever do people come out of a debate having changed their mind, it usually only reinforces it. Damn the stubbornness of humans. :tongue:

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