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On this week's Surgery, we're talking about stress. Following Zayn Malik's departure from One Direction's tour suffering with stress, and then leaving the band, we'll be discussing what stress actually is, how it manifests itself, and how you can help to deal with it.

Have you ever suffered with stress? Or do you have questions about dealing with feelings of anxiety or how to handle stressful situations? Or maybe you've got experiences of stress and have got a story that might help someone else.

Get in touch here...

Please note anything you do discuss on this page/forum may be used on the Radio 1 show or on the BBC Advice pages.
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TimeWalker
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(Original post by BBC Radio 1)
On this week's Surgery, we're talking about stress. Following Zayn Malik's departure from One Direction's tour suffering with stress, and then leaving the band, we'll be discussing what stress actually is, how it manifests itself, and how you can help to deal with it.

Have you ever suffered with stress? Or do you have questions about dealing with feelings of anxiety or how to handle stressful situations? Or maybe you've got experiences of stress and have got a story that might help someone else.

Get in touch here...

Please note anything you do discuss on this page/forum may be used on the Radio 1 show or on the BBC Advice pages.

Stress is pretty horrible.

In my experience we can get ourselves more stressed than necessary when there is a strong sense of personal loss or gain depending on an outcome.

One example is the stress in the run up to exams, where failure to meet a certain standard might have a personal effect on a student's self worth, sense of achievement, even sense of guilt etc. for failing to meet the standard.
On the other hand, situations feel less stressful when this sense of personal liability is removed or reduced.

In other words, the perceived impact of an outcome can lead to higher stress levels.

Stress can become heightened by the desire to escape from stressful situations, where good advice (using exams as an example) might be to remain calm and simply resolve not to 'run away' from the situation (although this is counter-intuitive). This was an attitude I developed when doing my finals last year.
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vanderwoodsen
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I am stressed all the time. I often say that "I'm not stressed, stress is me." Friends, family and teachers know this so well that they have actually become able to spot the signs when I'm particularly feeling it - I can't get sentences out straight, just words, touching my hair/pulling it a lot, going from outgoing to quiet in a few minutes... this may be particular to just me, but I'm sure others go through similar.

I get stressed out very easily, I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I'm constantly worried about school, exams and doing well in life. It's like a little pyramid of stress - at the top, I have school/exams, then underneath that I've got health and my body, then friendship and family, then the little things like remembering to hand things in on time or buying birthday presents. It's as if when I'm not worrying about one section of this "pyramid", my mind suddenly panics and remembers all the things I have to be stressed about...not a fun thing to live with.

In terms of dealing with it, I don't really deal with it. I'm not an upfront person. I tend to just ignore it and push it out of my mind and hope it goes away, which rarely happens. I've tried all this positive thinking and taking deep breaths and exercise and drinking water to battle stress stuff, which have all been misses. I'm at a complete loss at how to deal with it, honestly.
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(Original post by vanderwoodsen)
I am stressed all the time. I often say that "I'm not stressed, stress is me." Friends, family and teachers know this so well that they have actually become able to spot the signs when I'm particularly feeling it - I can't get sentences out straight, just words, touching my hair/pulling it a lot, going from outgoing to quiet in a few minutes... this may be particular to just me, but I'm sure others go through similar.

I get stressed out very easily, I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I'm constantly worried about school, exams and doing well in life. It's like a little pyramid of stress - at the top, I have school/exams, then underneath that I've got health and my body, then friendship and family, then the little things like remembering to hand things in on time or buying birthday presents. It's as if when I'm not worrying about one section of this "pyramid", my mind suddenly panics and remembers all the things I have to be stressed about...not a fun thing to live with.

In terms of dealing with it, I don't really deal with it. I'm not an upfront person. I tend to just ignore it and push it out of my mind and hope it goes away, which rarely happens. I've tried all this positive thinking and taking deep breaths and exercise and drinking water to battle stress stuff, which have all been misses. I'm at a complete loss at how to deal with it, honestly.
Hi,

Thanks for your comment! So sorry to hear you've been having such a tough time with stress

We'll be talking all about it on Wednesday night so hopefully we'll be able to help you a bit there! In the meantime, here's our advice pages about Stress & Anxiety: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/arti...anxiety-stress.

Hoping that we'll be able to offer you some helpful advice on Wednesday night's show!

Ami @ The Surgery x
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Slumer21
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I've always thought that stress is just overthinking things... sometimes in your mind everything seems worse off then it actually is and that causes you to panic and overthink even more and just tire yourself out. Saying that, stress can also be ok e.g I don't think I'd be revising for exams if I wasn't stressed. When I am stressed- which recently has been a lot, i just have to believe that everything will be ok at the end of it and that if things don't go according to plan, then there is always something to be learned for the future. Plus praying always helps!

I don't know why but I often see as stress as a tunnel- something makes you stressed and you go underground but theres always something to bring you back to the surface which will happen inevitably.

Just my perspective....
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BBC Radio 1
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(Original post by Slumer21)
I've always thought that stress is just overthinking things... sometimes in your mind everything seems worse off then it actually is and that causes you to panic and overthink even more and just tire yourself out. Saying that, stress can also be ok e.g I don't think I'd be revising for exams if I wasn't stressed. When I am stressed- which recently has been a lot, i just have to believe that everything will be ok at the end of it and that if things don't go according to plan, then there is always something to be learned for the future. Plus praying always helps!

I don't know why but I often see as stress as a tunnel- something makes you stressed and you go underground but theres always something to bring you back to the surface which will happen inevitably.

Just my perspective....
That's a nice analogy, means there is always an end somewhere! Do you find that stress can be helpful, then? Have you got any tips for using stress in a positive way?

Ami @ The Surgery x
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Yh I guess i like to think of stress as a positive thing. The more stressed you are the more motivated you are to improve the conditions your in to get out of the situation. it's usually because of stress that I'm able to get out of tough sitution- since trying to change the outcome is better then the eventual outcome if I did nothing. Also I find that stress can be channeled into something else that will help calm you down- so if I'm overtihinking about something I'll go do some painting or help my mum in the garden which helps distract me from my thouights and calm down, as well as clearing my mind and helping me think clearly so that when I'm done and return to the issue, I have a clearer perception on what i can do to improve due to that time I've given myself to reboot. I WOULD'T reccomend sleeping though, because then your not activley using your mind and I find that it just prolongs the stress rather then make it better
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the bear
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stress is my middle name.

Waynflete S Penciljammer
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I tend to get so stressed about homework that I just can't do anything; I sit on my bed thinking about how stressed I am, making me more stressed, and in the end I have to stay up late to do the homework I was supposed to do earlier. This means I'm tired the next day and makes me more likely to become more stressed. And this cycle repeats every day.


I'm sure I could stop this if I didn't leave things to the last minute but it feels like I physically can't bring myself to start. I think I have depression and I have very little motivation, until stress and anxiety kicks in and makes me worried. I end up so stressed and anxious that it affects everything I do, and I constantly feel terrible. By some miracle, my grades aren't dropping, but I feel like it's affecting my friendships - being tired and stressed makes me irritable or I say really weird things and then I get really anxious and replay conversations in my head.


I don't know what to do to be less stressed, I have tried deep breathing, but even when I'm not doing anything and not thinking about all the things that make me stressed, I am never really relaxed.


I don't know what I can do.
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(Original post by Slumer21)
Yh I guess i like to think of stress as a positive thing. The more stressed you are the more motivated you are to improve the conditions your in to get out of the situation. it's usually because of stress that I'm able to get out of tough sitution- since trying to change the outcome is better then the eventual outcome if I did nothing. Also I find that stress can be channeled into something else that will help calm you down- so if I'm overtihinking about something I'll go do some painting or help my mum in the garden which helps distract me from my thouights and calm down, as well as clearing my mind and helping me think clearly so that when I'm done and return to the issue, I have a clearer perception on what i can do to improve due to that time I've given myself to reboot. I WOULD'T reccomend sleeping though, because then your not activley using your mind and I find that it just prolongs the stress rather then make it better
It's great that you have recognised what triggers and aggravates your stress to help yourself! Would you be up for chatting to us on the show tomorrow night? I think you could be a great help to other people!

Ami @ The Surgery x
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BCMFM16
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(Original post by BBC Radio 1)
It's great that you have recognised what triggers and aggravates your stress to help yourself! Would you be up for chatting to us on the show tomorrow night? I think you could be a great help to other people!

Ami @ The Surgery x
I get stressed all of time I'm so petrified for my AS exams, I have revised etc but its just the idea how these exams directly count towards my UCAS application that really stresses me out.

I think the most stressed I've ever been was during my GCSE religious studies exam, I wrote my answer to a question (about a page worth of writing), when I looked back at the question to see that I was answering it in the wrong way. I remember shaking so much from the nerves, I also felt the blood rush to my face and I started feeling really hot. As a result of that, I messed up the entire paper (from worrying about that question) and as a consequence I got a B in that paper. Luckily I got an A* in the next paper, which meant that I got an A overall.
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(Original post by BBC Radio 1)
It's great that you have recognised what triggers and aggravates your stress to help yourself! Would you be up for chatting to us on the show tomorrow night? I think you could be a great help to other people!

Ami @ The Surgery x

Yh sure I'd be up to it...
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I tend to get so stressed about homework that I just can't do anything; I sit on my bed thinking about how stressed I am, making me more stressed, and in the end I have to stay up late to do the homework I was supposed to do earlier. This means I'm tired the next day and makes me more likely to become more stressed. And this cycle repeats every day.


I'm sure I could stop this if I didn't leave things to the last minute but it feels like I physically can't bring myself to start. I think I have depression and I have very little motivation, until stress and anxiety kicks in and makes me worried. I end up so stressed and anxious that it affects everything I do, and I constantly feel terrible. By some miracle, my grades aren't dropping, but I feel like it's affecting my friendships - being tired and stressed makes me irritable or I say really weird things and then I get really anxious and replay conversations in my head.


I don't know what to do to be less stressed, I have tried deep breathing, but even when I'm not doing anything and not thinking about all the things that make me stressed, I am never really relaxed.


I don't know what I can do.
This sounds horrible So sorry to hear you're suffering so badly! We'll definitely try and talk this through tonight on the show! In the meantime, hopefully this will be helpful - Dr. Aaron has put together some top stress busting tips! http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/arti...ess-like-a-pro

Please get in touch on the show tonight if you want some more help, the number is 03700 100 100, or you can text us on 81199.

Hope we can help you to beat this stress!

Ami @ The Surgery x
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It feels strange posting on this thread because very few people irl are aware that I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. I've tried counselling, CBT, anti-anxiety medication, the works. Everyone underestimates the effect that stress can have on people. How bad it can get. I think a lot of the time the things that mean the most to you can also be the most stressful. You place more pressure on yourself and put more expectations on yourself until you can't take it. It's like you turn into your own worst enemy for a while and the stress just gets to you. A tutor once told me that stress can render anyone helpless. That everyone is vulnerable to it, it just depends on how much you can handle at the time, what things mean the most to you and where you're at in life, how balanced that life is. I think having a strong support network is essential in beating stress. Try to fight it all alone and you'll feel like you're drowning. Finding relaxing hobbies is another important thing. Stuff that makes you remember the good parts of life when you're at your worst. That get you out of your own head. I think anyone can find time for one relaxing thing. It can be the simplest thing but if it gets you back to you. I've found meditation and learning relaxing breathing techniques are very practical tools for exams. My CBT therapist taught me but you can learn it online. It sounds crazy but they're the only things that seem to help when I'm sitting in an exam. Without it I get lightheaded, faint, throw up, you name it. And just 20 minutes a day when I'm super busy is very helpful. And spend lots of time around people or animals, we're social creatures. I'm volunteering at an animal shelter and my mum's workplace from time to time, which happens to be a home for the elderly. Talking to people of different ages, in different environments can shift your perspective and balance you out. Make you remember the bigger picture. I'm at university studying music and sometimes even an atmosphere that is supposedly creative and supportive can turn toxic. You get overwhelmed by the place, the people, the events. You feel so lost. You lose perspective and suddenly need an escape and the things you once loved like my piano turns into something you want to run from. Every failure or potential for failure turns into this thing you start avoiding and you get stuck in a cycle. And trying to do it all alone is the worst part. Because you're stuck in your own head with your own dark, obsessive thoughts, punishing yourself without anyone to remind you that you're losing perspective. Anyway, I'm no expert because my life is a mess but I'm still trying.
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Yoga is actually really helpful for combating stress.
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I feel like I'm constantly stressed, school is putting so much pressure on me to get my highers, especially maths (my teacher doesn't think I can get an A, I'm proving him wrong). I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of tears, and I have to keep a beanbag ball on my desk to stop me throwing my jotters or anything that can break.
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Be like me
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Have just listened in on my drive back to uni and even called, but didn't get through to the live broadcast :grumble:.

Most of the advice was great tonight - you need to own your stress.

People at school - speak to your tutor or teacher, they can help.
People at college - speak to your tutor or teacher, they can help.
People at university - speak to your academic tutor, your lecturers, your support services that you're paying for.

There is absolutely no shame in asking for help - none at all.

Specific advice for university students. I'm on a high pressure, high workload degree with summative assessments. My way to alleviate stress is to plan ahead for everything. I use the 6 Ps motto: Preparation and planning prevents piss poor performance. I have a plan on how I'm going to use my money - I know what's generally happening in the next six months. I know the workload and I have a flexible schedule of when things need to be done by. Flexibility helps this so much! If you slip back a week or something crops up, you can allow more time.

Review this plan a few weeks before deadlines so that you've got as much control as possible.

Also, find days where you can not do anything. Sit back and relax and don't think about your work - removing yourself from work and eliminating thoughts about the subject will make yu work harder when you come back to it. With assignments, if you're working on something and get bored of it, move onto another project and come back to it.
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I have anxiety. Battled panic disorder for a month+ now. Still have panic attacks, but not frequently. Stressed, so I grind my teeth when I sleep. Stressed about everything but mainly A-levels cos they mean a lot to me and my anxiety kicks in and then i get scared and procrastinate. I can't perform well in exam condition too becos of anxiety and fear of failing.

i can't do it :cry2:
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I get stress to the point of physical pain. I like to think of myself as pretty laid back but the truth of the matter is that I've usually got so much on my plate it drives me insane. Heck, that's why I rap - it's a place where I can let everything out.

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