Should I leave her? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
i know a girl but she lives about an hour away but i have no way of getting to her, we met on the internet about 8 months ago. ever since then we've got really close and are such good friends. but... she gets beaten by her brother, been raped several times when she was younger, she cuts, she hears voices telling her to kill herself despite attempts before that, she has all sorts of "problems" like that. she cries herself to sleep most nights and rocks back and forth. even though she does all this i really do try for her an she knows i do but does it mean I'm not good enough for her? she even stopped cutting for a while after 3 years but now she's started again because the bullying got worse, i put so much effort in with her for other people to go and destroy it in seconds, with her it really is 1 step forward 2 steps back. she loves me and i love her too but its making me unhappy. she says without me shed have nothing to live for, tells me I've completely changed her life an made her happy but she isn't happy i know she isn't. i try my best for her, draw her silly things, cute paragraphs, i sent her a letter once and she's so protective over it. she really does love me, she thinks the world of me but i don't know what to do, shall i try and leave her or stay? its bringing me down and making me depressed, its exhausting. the last thing i want is to leave her but I'm scared i might have to, for me. it would break her heart and mine too but maybe its for the best...

i know what this sounds like, all praise me. no its really not intended like that, I'm worried for her and for me too. i sound selfish i know but I'm not like that.

can anyone help me, please?
0
reply
MissDetermined
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
Yes, you should cut contact. What you describe isn't healthy. She shouldn't be dependent upon you for happiness, and it sounds like you know that. No amount of what you do is going to help her properly - she needs to seek professional help. Please don't not leave her for fear of her doing something to harm herself. That is HER choice, not YOURS, and in no way would you be responsible for anything bad happening.
You seem like a really nice guy who genuinely cares but she is also bringing you down, you need to get off the Internet and meet girls in person, girls that are happy (mostly) within themselves and will benefit in your life, not detract from it. I would kindly suggest that she needs to seek her for her depression/mental health problems, and also if she really is being abused, to talk to someone about that too. You can't help her, only she can do that, but she needs to recognise that first.
0
reply
SausageMan
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#3
Report 4 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
i know a girl but she lives about an hour away but i have no way of getting to her, we met on the internet about 8 months ago. ever since then we've got really close and are such good friends. but... she gets beaten by her brother, been raped several times when she was younger, she cuts, she hears voices telling her to kill herself despite attempts before that, she has all sorts of "problems" like that. she cries herself to sleep most nights and rocks back and forth. even though she does all this i really do try for her an she knows i do but does it mean I'm not good enough for her? she even stopped cutting for a while after 3 years but now she's started again because the bullying got worse, i put so much effort in with her for other people to go and destroy it in seconds, with her it really is 1 step forward 2 steps back. she loves me and i love her too but its making me unhappy. she says without me shed have nothing to live for, tells me I've completely changed her life an made her happy but she isn't happy i know she isn't. i try my best for her, draw her silly things, cute paragraphs, i sent her a letter once and she's so protective over it. she really does love me, she thinks the world of me but i don't know what to do, shall i try and leave her or stay? its bringing me down and making me depressed, its exhausting. the last thing i want is to leave her but I'm scared i might have to, for me. it would break her heart and mine too but maybe its for the best...

i know what this sounds like, all praise me. no its really not intended like that, I'm worried for her and for me too. i sound selfish i know but I'm not like that.

can anyone help me, please?
Maybe you should refer her to a social worker or a GP. To give her support, as you can't solve all of her problems on your own.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#4
its just a lot harder to do than just saying it, she does rely on me an has said without me shed kill herself, i don't want that on my shoulders. i eventually got her to tell her mum about what goes on, the depression and cutting and she did, she goes to counselling but she hates it. she refuses to go most times.
0
reply
theantiparticle
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#5
Report 4 years ago
#5
I don't know how old you two are, but clearly she would be better if she left her horrible family and got her own place for a start, maybe you could help her look for a place, find a job etc. Also she definitely needs help from her GP or something, perhaps you could take her and support her that way
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#6
she's 15 and I'm 16, she can't do anything like moving. she always runs off from home but doesn't go very far at all, if she could come with me of course i would but its a plane journey. a very short one but still a plane journey
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#7
Report 4 years ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
i know a girl but she lives about an hour away but i have no way of getting to her, we met on the internet about 8 months ago. ever since then we've got really close and are such good friends. but... she gets beaten by her brother, been raped several times when she was younger, she cuts, she hears voices telling her to kill herself despite attempts before that, she has all sorts of "problems" like that. she cries herself to sleep most nights and rocks back and forth. even though she does all this i really do try for her an she knows i do but does it mean I'm not good enough for her? she even stopped cutting for a while after 3 years but now she's started again because the bullying got worse, i put so much effort in with her for other people to go and destroy it in seconds, with her it really is 1 step forward 2 steps back. she loves me and i love her too but its making me unhappy. she says without me shed have nothing to live for, tells me I've completely changed her life an made her happy but she isn't happy i know she isn't. i try my best for her, draw her silly things, cute paragraphs, i sent her a letter once and she's so protective over it. she really does love me, she thinks the world of me but i don't know what to do, shall i try and leave her or stay? its bringing me down and making me depressed, its exhausting. the last thing i want is to leave her but I'm scared i might have to, for me. it would break her heart and mine too but maybe its for the best...

i know what this sounds like, all praise me. no its really not intended like that, I'm worried for her and for me too. i sound selfish i know but I'm not like that.

can anyone help me, please?
She needs help and it isn't the sort of help you can give her. She needs professional help to get her problems fixed. You shouldn't feel like it's your responsibility to make her better or that you can't leave her because she might get worse. She obviously trusts you and depends on you so I think you should help her to get the help that she needs. I think abandoning her isn't the answer but I get that it's really hard for you.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Why wouldn't you turn to teachers if you were being bullied?

They might tell my parents (26)
7.08%
They might tell the bully (35)
9.54%
I don't think they'd understand (56)
15.26%
It might lead to more bullying (142)
38.69%
There's nothing they could do (108)
29.43%

Watched Threads

View All