Social anxiety.. I'm pretty old now, and it isn't much better Watch

Pipsico
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BubbleMonkey
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(Original post by Pipsico)
So basically the usual. I'm a socially awkward/socially anxious person.
I find that I like people, but don't enjoy/can't join in.

I feel like I'm constantly 'filtering' my words and my facial expressions. I will often not say a thing if I'm in a group of people, and become more conscious and anxious the more time passes.

It's exhausting. I'm tired.
I don't have time to see anyone about it as my study and work schedule is just so packed and has been for a long while.

I want to have friends, build long term relationships but feel I can never add anything more but superficial/awkward conversation to any exchange.

I want to get ahead in my career. I want to be able to have friends to invite to my wedding.

My personality and my negative thoughts are sabotaging what should be the best years of my life.

In addition, I'm quite weak as a person. I let others take advantage or overpower me. I like people, but people don't tend to like me much. I live in constant fear of being rejected or thought of negatively. I wish I could take a pill that made me not care.

I've suppressed myself so much in the 27 years I've been alive, I don't even know who I am - just who I want to be.

Anyway, this was cathartic.
Anyone going through/been through anything similar? What did you do?


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Try posting in Mental Health section. I'm not suggesting you have a mental health problem, but the people over there will probably have a bit more experience and advice for you. There's no harm in looking at advice online for social anxiety etc even if you don't have the condition yourself. The advice is still good for a wider audience.

My general advice would tend to be try to relax more and not give yourself too high expectations. Try going to some sort of event and just setting yourself the challenge to make conversation. No need to ever talk to them again so don't worry about filtering. Just get more used to talking to people casually.
And try situations where there is a conversation lead already there (events or groups with a theme etc). It will make it easier to start talking and you can think of a few ideas to keep conversation flowing before you go.

I tend to have to focus quite a bit on being social and making time for it since I'm rather an introverted person. Joining a club may help?

Good luck.
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Pipsico
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(Original post by BubbleMonkey)
Try posting in Mental Health section. I'm not suggesting you have a mental health problem, but the people over there will probably have a bit more experience and advice for you. There's no harm in looking at advice online for social anxiety etc even if you don't have the condition yourself. The advice is still good for a wider audience.

My general advice would tend to be try to relax more and not give yourself too high expectations. Try going to some sort of event and just setting yourself the challenge to make conversation. No need to ever talk to them again so don't worry about filtering. Just get more used to talking to people casually.
And try situations where there is a conversation lead already there (events or groups with a theme etc). It will make it easier to start talking and you can think of a few ideas to keep conversation flowing before you go.

I tend to have to focus quite a bit on being social and making time for it since I'm rather an introverted person. Joining a club may help?

Good luck.
Thank you. Very useful. I guess it's about making the effort.

I'll check out the mental health section



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