Really want sex, but I'm always bleeding Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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I've been with a guy for three months... our sex life is very irregular as it is because we're both busy and can't see each other every weekend. I think the longest we've ever gone without sex is five weeks and I was getting pretty desperate for it by that stage. I'm 22 and he's 29 and I think there is a bit of a disparity in our sex drives anyway, with me having a higher one than him.

I had the coil fitted nearly four weeks ago (as a treatment for heavy periods/anaemia) and I just haven't stopped bleeding since. I was warned I might get irregular bleeding, but this has been every day except for 1-2. Other than the bleeding the coil has been great, no side effects, so I'm keen to give it a go. Problem is last time I was around at my boyfriend's, when things started getting sexual, I warned him about the spotting when he tried to touch me down there, telling him I didn't want him to get a 'nasty surprise' and though he stilled groped and cuddled me, we didn't have full sex and instead he just got me to touch him and I gave him a few BJs (he didn't ask for them.)

From his reaction, I'm assuming sex involving blood isn't something he's interested in. My worries about this are two-fold 1) I'm horny and would happily have sex whilst bleeding - it's only spotting, not a full on period. I don't want to face months of pleasuring him with nothing in return 2) Surely if this carries on indefinitely he's going to get fed up with not being able to have sex and look for it elsewhere.

Basically, should I tell him I still want sex whilst bleeding or should I assume he doesn't want it from the fact he didn't try to continue full on sex? On the one hand, I discouraged him by stopping him from touching me and then explaining it was because of the spotting, but surely if he'd wanted to he's have said he was happy to do it anyway?
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Dima-Blackburn
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I think you should talk to him about this. Communication is essential.
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hotliketea
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... talk about it?

my friend got the implant and she bled for three months so i'd defo talk about it :P
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keladry
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been with a guy for three months... our sex life is very irregular as it is because we're both busy and can't see each other every weekend. I think the longest we've ever gone without sex is five weeks and I was getting pretty desperate for it by that stage. I'm 22 and he's 29 and I think there is a bit of a disparity in our sex drives anyway, with me having a higher one than him.

I had the coil fitted nearly four weeks ago (as a treatment for heavy periods/anaemia) and I just haven't stopped bleeding since. I was warned I might get irregular bleeding, but this has been every day except for 1-2. Other than the bleeding the coil has been great, no side effects, so I'm keen to give it a go. Problem is last time I was around at my boyfriend's, when things started getting sexual, I warned him about the spotting when he tried to touch me down there, telling him I didn't want him to get a 'nasty surprise' and though he stilled groped and cuddled me, we didn't have full sex and instead he just got me to touch him and I gave him a few BJs (he didn't ask for them.)

From his reaction, I'm assuming sex involving blood isn't something he's interested in. My worries about this are two-fold 1) I'm horny and would happily have sex whilst bleeding - it's only spotting, not a full on period. I don't want to face months of pleasuring him with nothing in return 2) Surely if this carries on indefinitely he's going to get fed up with not being able to have sex and look for it elsewhere.

Basically, should I tell him I still want sex whilst bleeding or should I assume he doesn't want it from the fact he didn't try to continue full on sex? On the one hand, I discouraged him by stopping him from touching me and then explaining it was because of the spotting, but surely if he'd wanted to he's have said he was happy to do it anyway?
By stopping him you more than likely to just gave a sign that to him said you weren't comfortable having sex because of the spotting. If you want it, tell him.
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Green_Pink
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It might be awkward, but sit down and talk to him about it He might just be assuming your uncomfortable with it, or isn't sure how to react. You might also want to check with your GP if the bleeding keeps going longer than expected
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Juicy J
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I'm always more than happy to have sex if the girl is bleeding, it makes almost no difference except that I wouldn't be able to go down on her. You should talk to him about it, ask him if he wants to do it or not. Should be a fairly easy and straightforward conversation. Any real full-blooded man wouldn't be put off by something as insignificant as a little period blood. You'd have to be a squeamish wuss to say no to that.

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Anonymous #1
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Hey,

Thanks for the advice people... I think the main reason I assumed he might not be into it is because he seems a bit reserved with regard some sexua things...I'm not saying period sex is sexually deviant, but I know some guys are a bit against it. Also, though we've been together three months, we don't know each other that well sexually; we've only had sex about five times, so I guess it just seems like a bit of an embarrassing conversation to have. Still, I know if I don't approach it I'll carry on worrying, so I know I'm best just finding out either way.
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Josb
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If the highway is blocked, take the muddy path.
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Chwirkytheappleboy
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If the bleeding particularly bothers you (or rather, it seems, bothers him) you can actually use the Combined Oral Contraceptive Pill in addition to your Mirena (Look at the right-hand column of Figure 2 on Page 5, and Point 15 on Page 8 of the FSRH Unscheduled Bleeding Guidance) to control it. Currently the guidance is to use it for 3 months. Hopefully by the end of that time, the bleeding will have settled
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Obliviate
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I had the same problem! I got my Mirena fitted a year ago, and since the beginning (except I think a week or so) I was spotting heavily and it almost looked like a period, which I found really uncomfortable. So my doctor gave me Cerazette (mini pill) to try, as she said it will help to reduce the bleeding. And it did help, to the point that I'm not spotting at all however I have to take it all the time alongside my Mirena. So maybe that could be a solution for you?
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