Disabled Guy Harassing Me In Library - what to do? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
I go to my local library quite often (am a girl) and there's a middle aged guy there on a mobility scooter who comes in almost every day. He often speaks to the staff and seems familiar with them, and I'm not sure exactly why he uses the scooter but his speech is a bit slurred so I would guess it might be something mental. (maybe someone on here knows?)

Anyway, over the last month or so I have been using the library quite a bit and noticed him staring at me all the time. The first time I was working on a table next to the window and glanced behind me when I saw him sitting on the scooter behind me and staring at me. When he saw me looking back at him he suddenly moved off though I didn't glare or anything. For the last few weeks I have been working at the back of the library (it's tiny) but he keeps on driving up to around where I am and then looking at me for ages (his scooter is noisy so I can hear when he does this) and when I look back at him he suddenly drives off. He does not look at anyone else this way. This happens pretty much every time he is in the library.

The other day I was walking into the library when I heard the scooter coming out, and as I didn't want him to know I was there I ducked behind one of the low bookcases going down the centre and hid on the other side till I thought he left. However, he must have seen me when I got up and walked to the back of the library because about 10 seconds later I suddenly saw the scooter behind me and saw him following me down the aisle. He then turned and left the library (he basically followed me down the aisle as I walked away and then did a U turn and left).

Today I was sitting in a different spot but there was a space between 2 bookcases on my left. I heard him coming in and saw him driving very slowly past the space so as to stare at me. I frowned at him and coughed loudly but he kept staring, and after he had gone past it I heard the scooter noise change to "reverse" and he reversed past it AGAIN to stare at me through the space. He then left the library.

Should I tell staff or what? Am not sure exactly what his disability is but I imagine speaking to him directly is a bad idea. They seem familiar with him when he chats to them so I don't want to seem like I am being discriminating but he is really, really bothering me. I really like working here too and I have severe depression myself so getting out of the house is good for me. He comes in almost every day and only asks for a book every once in a while. Usually he is just sitting on his scooter using the mobile or driving up to me and staring.
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Tiger Rag
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If he's bothering you, then tell someone.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by OU Student)
If he's bothering you, then tell someone.
Thanks, I'm not how to phrase it to the library staff though? He clearly knows them well because he's always talking to them. I also don't want to seem like I'm being discriminating if he's mentally disabled.
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Lacesso
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If they're familiar with him then they probably know he's a bit of an oddball.. I suggest you tell one of the staff or lay down spike strips.
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tom_giles1997
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I go to my local library quite often (am a girl) and there's a middle aged guy there on a mobility scooter who comes in almost every day. He often speaks to the staff and seems familiar with them, and I'm not sure exactly why he uses the scooter but his speech is a bit slurred so I would guess it might be something mental. (maybe someone on here knows?)

Anyway, over the last month or so I have been using the library quite a bit and noticed him staring at me all the time. The first time I was working on a table next to the window and glanced behind me when I saw him sitting on the scooter behind me and staring at me. When he saw me looking back at him he suddenly moved off though I didn't glare or anything. For the last few weeks I have been working at the back of the library (it's tiny) but he keeps on driving up to around where I am and then looking at me for ages (his scooter is noisy so I can hear when he does this) and when I look back at him he suddenly drives off. He does not look at anyone else this way. This happens pretty much every time he is in the library.

The other day I was walking into the library when I heard the scooter coming out, and as I didn't want him to know I was there I ducked behind one of the low bookcases going down the centre and hid on the other side till I thought he left. However, he must have seen me when I got up and walked to the back of the library because about 10 seconds later I suddenly saw the scooter behind me and saw him following me down the aisle. He then turned and left the library (he basically followed me down the aisle as I walked away and then did a U turn and left).

Today I was sitting in a different spot but there was a space between 2 bookcases on my left. I heard him coming in and saw him driving very slowly past the space so as to stare at me. I frowned at him and coughed loudly but he kept staring, and after he had gone past it I heard the scooter noise change to "reverse" and he reversed past it AGAIN to stare at me through the space. He then left the library.

Should I tell staff or what? Am not sure exactly what his disability is but I imagine speaking to him directly is a bad idea. They seem familiar with him when he chats to them so I don't want to seem like I am being discriminating but he is really, really bothering me. I really like working here too and I have severe depression myself so getting out of the house is good for me. He comes in almost every day and only asks for a book every once in a while. Usually he is just sitting on his scooter using the mobile or driving up to me and staring.

If he is disabled, then he may not understand that you find it a bit creepy, there was this guy who used to go to my church and he had a brain injury and occasionally used to kick off at random points and it was obvious that he had a certain sexual attraction to some of the female members of the congregation as he had the same constant specific stare and the licking of the lips type thing which used to creep everybody out. But if it is bothering you, then yes I would tell a member of staff that this man is acting strangely and you would appreciate it is he stopped, it may not be his fault but it is clear he gets a kick out of looking for you and I can imagine that this is not very pleasant. I am sure the staff will be able to politely talk to him if he is able to understand them. Disabled people are often able to stop once an authority speaks to them as they realise what they have done is wrong, kind of like a mother to a child when the child has done wrong and knows a punishment is coming. Hope this helps
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks, I'm not how to phrase it to the library staff though? He clearly knows them well because he's always talking to them. I also don't want to seem like I'm being discriminating if he's mentally disabled.
I don't see how you would be discrminating at all. If he's bothering you and you don't like it, you have to tell someone. I've done this twice. First time, it was sorted (in short, he was kicked out of the group because it was decided his behaviour wasn't appropriate) and I was informed that a few other people had raised concerns about his behaviour. Second time, it was my fault apparently and I had understand and accept his behaviour.:rolleyes: Um, no, harassment is never ok.
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the bear
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Report this weirdo to the Senior Librarian.
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superwolf
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If he's capable of going out and about on his own, most likely he's capable of understanding if his behaviour is upsetting you. He might not realise this at the moment, but it's only fair to tell him and give him the chance of rectifying it. If you feel uncomfortable with talking to him yourself then yes, speaking to staff would be appropriate. :yy:
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Jamie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks, I'm not how to phrase it to the library staff though? He clearly knows them well because he's always talking to them. I also don't want to seem like I'm being discriminating if he's mentally disabled.
You are discriminating.
If he wasn't physically challenged you would have already spoken to someone.
Equal rights cuts both ways...
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Limpopo
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Deploy a stinger....
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Kabloomybuzz
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It does sound like he probably has some kind of learning difficulty. I would bring up your concerns with the library staff, if he talks to them often, they might well be able to talk to him about it so that he can understand and stop doing it... it might simply be that he wants to say hello but is afraid to. It might be that the library staff can explain to you some of his issues, and that might make you feel less uncomfortable about his behaviour, I sometimes think that not understanding why someone is behaving strangely can make it seem a lot creepier.

The fact that he is able to be out in the community alone says that he's pretty harmless. I work with adults with learning difficulties, and they have their odd ways a lot of the time that they can't always help. One guy I work with for example, often stares at and tries to start conversations with young boys because he has the mental age of a 5/6 year old and sees himself as their equal rather than as an adult. As carers we have to distract him from that, but if he doesn't have 24 hour care then any social behavioural issues won't be managed.
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