The Student Room Group

Was I sexually abused as a child?

I feel ashamed and embarrassed when I do or want to do sexual things. I'm 19 and I can't get close to people. I've always felt that there was something wrong with me. I'm not saying this event was the reason, but I've just realised it could be at least contributing...

We were both really young, I don't know but I think I was about 8? And my brother 11, could have been younger. Basically he made me do something that he'd heard about and I didn't want to do it. He then told his friends when we were all playing together saying that it was disgusting and it was my idea, and they all laughed at me. I remember it so vividly and felt/feel so ashamed, angry and humiliated. I didn't understand at all and didn't tell anyone. I feel like it had a massive effect on me but its now too late to address it. I think it only happened once and we have a good relationship.

I just don't know what to do, I haven't ever properly addressed it until now and can't stop crying. Is that kind of thing normal?
Hi

It sounds like what you went through was very traumatic and at such a young age you were not able to process it or make sense of it. Now you are remembering and realising the affect it may have had on you and your ability to trust others and get close to them.

These are normal reactions to traumatic things that happen in childhood, especially when it was someone so close to you. The good thing is it is never to late to address these things and undo the damage caused.

You can contact a specialist organisation which supports people who were abused as children - they can help you make sense of things and move forwards.

http://napac.org.uk/survivors-2/

Call free on 0808 801 0331 from landlines or mobile networks
Our lines are open 10am till 9pm Monday to Thursday, 10am till 6pm on Friday.

If you don’t want to call the support line, you can also email us at [email protected]

Their website also has lots of really useful info on.

I think they will really be able to help you. Remember this was not your fault, and you can move forwards from this. You are not alone, take care
Jo

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