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Scared about counselling
Am having my first counselling session today and I'm really scared! I want to get better, I do, but I'm scared of more pain, and how to say it and open up! Have little self-confidence and esteem so guess that by this thread, I am looking for support and maybe any consolation/experiences of how others' experiences with counsellors and dealing with depression and a few other things went too.
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Reply 1
You need to fully open up and tell the counsellor everything that is bothering you. Don't be scared or worried about what they'll think. Afterall it is their job to listen and provide guidance. Their there to help you, so just relax and feel good that you can finally have a weight lifted off your shoulders. Good Luck xx
Reply 2
Thanks. I only have 15 mins though- I might not have got round to summarising everything or into a state to open up properly in that amount of time. The relaxing advice is a nice idea- it's as much as I can to prevent myself from having a panic attack at the idea of it atm.
Reply 3
15mins is short, but nevermind. Just discuss the major issues in your life. Are you only having one session then?
Reply 4
Well if I have the courage to make it to this one then this will be my first counselling session. And if I feel and believe that it could help further and draw some more strength, I should be going to another one the week after then another etc. I'm so bad at summarising things 
and I'm scared of the first thing being asked being "so tell me about yourself/what do you want to talk about?/what's wrong?/or guessing who I am. Mind you, starting is always the hardest thing, it is said. Hopefully I'll get going and then it'll all come out...like verbal diarrohoea, as someone so nicely put it to me.
Just need to get to the starting phase then through and past it.
and I'm scared of the first thing being asked being "so tell me about yourself/what do you want to talk about?/what's wrong?/or guessing who I am. Mind you, starting is always the hardest thing, it is said. Hopefully I'll get going and then it'll all come out...like verbal diarrohoea, as someone so nicely put it to me. Just need to get to the starting phase then through and past it.Reply 5
Well I'm not to to lie and say it will be easy but it's "no pain, no gain"...I think real cousellers should ask those questions you stated, and some don't. Maybe they'll start out with some regular questions. And I think it's a great idea to have regular sessions. And well done on the courage to even go to one session 
Reply 6
blackswan
Well I'm not to to lie and say it will be easy but it's "no pain, no gain"...I think real cousellers should ask those questions you stated, and some don't. Maybe they'll start out with some regular questions. And I think it's a great idea to have regular sessions. And well done on the courage to even go to one session
Thanks. Have had about 3-5 counselling sessions put down for me already before, but never made it to any of them due to once not being told the right time and the others because I got so scared and frustrated that I ran away and just cried and cried and cried. Then started running to some other place again.
Will have a shot at turning up to and going through with this one again though. Hopefully I wont freak out even more as track record and high probability suggests as likely.
It would be good to start dealing with and coping with things as well as having someone to turn to to talk about stuff, even if it is only for once a week.Reply 7
Ive been going to counselling and it helped to a certain extent but at the same time i feel like i dont want to keep going cos its making me more upset 
well the first session i went to i was so nervous before hand and cried loads while i was there 
thats just my experience though, I dont know what your situation is but give it a go
well the first session i went to i was so nervous before hand and cried loads while i was there thats just my experience though, I dont know what your situation is but give it a go
Reply 8
I have had counselling for almost two years on and off, and it has been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. I started counselling originally to try and deal with being raped but i went to one session, realised i couldn't deal with it and didn't return. A few months later though i decided to give it another go and i had some long and extensive counselling to deal with what happened, which helped immensely. Although there is still a lot of pain surrounding what happened, it helped me to view things differently and deal with how i felt whilst understanding why i felt that way. During this counselling period, my mum committed suicide so my sessions then worked on that, and although it was (at times) the most painful thing in the world and i felt completely numb i stuck with it and it has helped more than i can imagine. I really reccommend counselling, personally it helped me more than you can possibly imagine. I do still have bad days, and i would be lying if i said counselling made everything okay again- it doesn't, but it made life much better for me.
Please don't worry about not knowing what to say- i know i was petrified about starting counselling but it didn't start with "so what's wrong then" or anything like that. My counsellor spoke a bit about college with me first and general things in life until we got a certain level of trust formed and then everything came out and was worked upon.
Good luck and well done!
Please don't worry about not knowing what to say- i know i was petrified about starting counselling but it didn't start with "so what's wrong then" or anything like that. My counsellor spoke a bit about college with me first and general things in life until we got a certain level of trust formed and then everything came out and was worked upon.
Good luck and well done!
Reply 9
You've got to remember that it probably will be hard to begin with cos your dealing with stuff that you probably want to run and hide from! But there is a point to it-to help you-and chances are your gonna have to hurt a bit more before things get better. It takes a lot to talk about whats bothering you but hopefully it will make a difference to how you feel in the long term so try and stick with it. Good luck!
Reply 10
You tell them only what you want to tell them. They won't pressure you, so if you don't want to tell them something, you don't have to. Personally I found it helped a lot. I went to the dude 'cos I was depressed and had little confidense. Since I went my confidense has dramatically improved, though I'm far from full confident. Believe me, it's well worth it, and will help most people.
Reply 11
1
Your first session will be a chance to see if you feel you will be able to have some rapport with this person. You don't need to tell them about the big issues straight away, just start by telling them how difficult it has been for you to even turn up today. Try your hardest to get there then you can make an informed decision about whether you would like to go back for more sessions or not. You don't need to talk about anything you don't want to and can leave at any time so really you're in charge. Now that's not too frightening is it? Let us know how you get on. Good luck.
Reply 12
I've got my first counselling session tomorrow and I feel exactly like u do! I can see myself not even turning up, it was soo hard to just pick up the phone and book an appointment! It's also kinda daunting that my session is 50minutes long, and I don't really know what to say either!
Reply 13
I had counseling for almost five months of my life, once a week with a woman called Wendy. It is scary going the first time, but what happened for me was that we talked about why I wanted counseling and what I thought I wanted to get out of it. I could say as little or as much as I wanted, and Wendy never forced me into a situation I couldn't handle. Therapy progresses at the speed you're able to go, not at the speed the counselor wants you to go. Some things you aren't ready to tell straight away, and your counselor will know that and hopefully be sensitive enough to recognize when to back off and when to let you talk. There is nothing to be frightened of. You control everything that happens in a session, and your counselor supports and looks after you as you do it.
I found it a very useful experience. I went because I was down and had some very tough experiences in secondary school that were still hanging around in the way I acted and thought about myself. Counseling didn't make things go away. It just let me think them through clearly, and Wendy often suggested alternative reasons for things happening I had not thought about which made it easier to understand why bad things had happened to me. We also went through strategies to help me cope that I still use. I'm definitely a lot more confident and centred for it.
But : if the person feels wrong for you, don't carry on the sessions. You have to feel you can trust the person you're sharing things with, and you have to on some level be confident in their ability to help. If you aren't, then the whole thing becomes pointless.
I found it a very useful experience. I went because I was down and had some very tough experiences in secondary school that were still hanging around in the way I acted and thought about myself. Counseling didn't make things go away. It just let me think them through clearly, and Wendy often suggested alternative reasons for things happening I had not thought about which made it easier to understand why bad things had happened to me. We also went through strategies to help me cope that I still use. I'm definitely a lot more confident and centred for it.
But : if the person feels wrong for you, don't carry on the sessions. You have to feel you can trust the person you're sharing things with, and you have to on some level be confident in their ability to help. If you aren't, then the whole thing becomes pointless.
Reply 14
Yes, I find it really hard to trust or let anyone in. Thanks for all the replies and feedback- 'tis appreciated.;grouphugs;Anyways, I'm back. Had my first ever counselling session- it's just a +ve that I actually turned up to it and made it there without bolting, I should think. Was only supposed to be about 15-20 mins but instead it almost lasted for an hour! She started by commenting on me actually getting there and why was I there, instead of bottling it, told me about confidentiality- part of which she told me a little of what she had heard regarding my coming to counselling and breach of confidentiality concerned with it which made me feel rather 
and shaky, made me fill out a little form such as name etc for herself, then started doing what I thought was quite random- a family tree, and relationships there and a bit of what I liked. Then it kind of went from there. But I feel a little frustrated because I didn't get to say the real problems and issues, and instead she misjudged something about me that other mean ppl have said. Nothing was cured or solved, (and a little while after the session, I still felt in a down mood) but I didn't expect it to be after one time. I don't really feel as if I'm coming across as myself either- it's a little hard expressing myself properly- something not entirely unexpected then. Mind you, haven't really got into it yet or feel comfortable. But have decided that I'm going to try to give it a go next week as well- see what happens. Just need to make it through to next week first though...Just wish I had someone to turn to and talk about interests and feelings etc more regularly...but let's not go down that lonely path now.
She started by commenting on me actually getting there and why was I there, instead of bottling it, told me about confidentiality- part of which she told me a little of what she had heard regarding my coming to counselling and breach of confidentiality concerned with it which made me feel rather and shaky, made me fill out a little form such as name etc for herself, then started doing what I thought was quite random- a family tree, and relationships there and a bit of what I liked. Then it kind of went from there. But I feel a little frustrated because I didn't get to say the real problems and issues, and instead she misjudged something about me that other mean ppl have said. Nothing was cured or solved, (and a little while after the session, I still felt in a down mood) but I didn't expect it to be after one time. I don't really feel as if I'm coming across as myself either- it's a little hard expressing myself properly- something not entirely unexpected then. Mind you, haven't really got into it yet or feel comfortable. But have decided that I'm going to try to give it a go next week as well- see what happens. Just need to make it through to next week first though...Just wish I had someone to turn to and talk about interests and feelings etc more regularly...but let's not go down that lonely path now.Reply 15
;console; Hopefully we'll both be able to get efficiently on the road to recovery/coping to the state where it just all comes out and gets resolved. Let me know how your first session goes etc.
Reply 16
i think it's fairly normal to feel like that after the first session. it's gonna take a while before you start to feel better. stick with it
Reply 17
Anonymous
Yes, I find it really hard to trust or let anyone in. Thanks for all the replies and feedback- 'tis appreciated.;grouphugs;Anyways, I'm back. Had my first ever counselling session- it's just a +ve that I actually turned up to it and made it there without bolting, I should think. Was only supposed to be about 15-20 mins but instead it almost lasted for an hour! She started by commenting on me actually getting there and why was I there, instead of bottling it, told me about confidentiality- part of which she told me a little of what she had heard regarding my coming to counselling and breach of confidentiality concerned with it which made me feel rather and shaky, made me fill out a little form such as name etc for herself, then started doing what I thought was quite random- a family tree, and relationships there and a bit of what I liked. Then it kind of went from there. But I feel a little frustrated because I didn't get to say the real problems and issues, and instead she misjudged something about me that other mean ppl have said. Nothing was cured or solved, (and a little while after the session, I still felt in a down mood) but I didn't expect it to be after one time. I don't really feel as if I'm coming across as myself either- it's a little hard expressing myself properly- something not entirely unexpected then. Mind you, haven't really got into it yet or feel comfortable. But have decided that I'm going to try to give it a go next week as well- see what happens. Just need to make it through to next week first though...Just wish I had someone to turn to and talk about interests and feelings etc more regularly...but let's not go down that lonely path now.
She started by commenting on me actually getting there and why was I there, instead of bottling it, told me about confidentiality- part of which she told me a little of what she had heard regarding my coming to counselling and breach of confidentiality concerned with it which made me feel rather and shaky, made me fill out a little form such as name etc for herself, then started doing what I thought was quite random- a family tree, and relationships there and a bit of what I liked. Then it kind of went from there. But I feel a little frustrated because I didn't get to say the real problems and issues, and instead she misjudged something about me that other mean ppl have said. Nothing was cured or solved, (and a little while after the session, I still felt in a down mood) but I didn't expect it to be after one time. I don't really feel as if I'm coming across as myself either- it's a little hard expressing myself properly- something not entirely unexpected then. Mind you, haven't really got into it yet or feel comfortable. But have decided that I'm going to try to give it a go next week as well- see what happens. Just need to make it through to next week first though...Just wish I had someone to turn to and talk about interests and feelings etc more regularly...but let's not go down that lonely path now.Well, it's ok that the main reason for you going hasn't come out straight away, and it's kind of understandable that you'll feel down afterwards.
One of the things with counselling is that you end up going over bad things that have happened so you can deal with them, and so it's understandable that you're going to feel down after the sessions. Also it's more-or-less expected that you're not going to always have the words to express what you're thinking & feeling, so bear with it.
Think of the positive things: you've made it to your first session, you've built up a bit of a rapport with the person you've seen, and you're going to go back again next week.
(I've had therapy before, and it sort of worked, but didn't completely help, so I'm going back again.)
Good luck for the next session, and if you want someone to talk to in between times, we're all here, even if you keep posting anonymously.
Reply 18
black-cat
i think it's fairly normal to feel like that after the first session. it's gonna take a while before you start to feel better. stick with it
That's a little comforting, I suppose. Will try to.
Reply 19
Louenn
Well, it's ok that the main reason for you going hasn't come out straight away, and it's kind of understandable that you'll feel down afterwards.
One of the things with counselling is that you end up going over bad things that have happened so you can deal with them, and so it's understandable that you're going to feel down after the sessions. Also it's more-or-less expected that you're not going to always have the words to express what you're thinking & feeling, so bear with it.
Think of the positive things: you've made it to your first session, you've built up a bit of a rapport with the person you've seen, and you're going to go back again next week.
(I've had therapy before, and it sort of worked, but didn't completely help, so I'm going back again.)
Good luck for the next session, and if you want someone to talk to in between times, we're all here, even if you keep posting anonymously.
One of the things with counselling is that you end up going over bad things that have happened so you can deal with them, and so it's understandable that you're going to feel down after the sessions. Also it's more-or-less expected that you're not going to always have the words to express what you're thinking & feeling, so bear with it.
Think of the positive things: you've made it to your first session, you've built up a bit of a rapport with the person you've seen, and you're going to go back again next week.
(I've had therapy before, and it sort of worked, but didn't completely help, so I'm going back again.)
Good luck for the next session, and if you want someone to talk to in between times, we're all here, even if you keep posting anonymously.
Thank-you. That's good to know.
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