Inexorably (Taz) Watch
Good evening Britain.
I am Inexorably, an independent candidate who you may refer to as 'Taz'.
My Mission (Manifesto)
I, Taz, recognise that in the past decade there have been several disruptive changes to our precious planet and equally importantly, the United Kingdom as a whole. People everywhere (not just the Scottish) seem gloomier than normal, public services are in crisis, faith in political parties has dropped to an all time low, and recognition of Tasmanian Devils has sunken drastically. This all has to change now!
All of my policies and ideas place the Tazzie Devil right at the centre of human society - think of them as the heart and soul of the body that defines society. That is why I call my plan, a R.E.A.L. vision!
*Religious reformation: I intend to break down the barriers in society dividing people, and one of these barriers is religion. I will strive to ensure that all religions and religious texts are outlawed and replaced with "Tazmanianity", which will consequently become compulsory worship in school years 1-11.
*Endangered species revival: Naturally, I will ensure that Britain becomes a safe haven for Tasmanian Devils as Australia is (at present) no longer suitable due to the devastating disease killing Tazzie Devils. A breeding programme will be set up in all Zoos and Wildlife Parks in the UK - as well as Aquariums so that we can train scuba-diving Tasmanian Devils - and by 2020 I will start distributing 1 Tasmanian Devil to every household in the UK! These animals will immediately boost family happiness and will be a fantastic idol for every family member to gather round and worship.
*Alleviating tax burdens: All forms of Tax are to be abolished in wake for one single form called ''Taz Tax'' which will take 20pcnt from all employed adult's monthly wages. This will be to help conservation of Tasmanian Devils and for funding of vaccines for Tasmanian Devils in Australia, so that we can save as many of these beautiful creatures as possible!
As for the shortfall of government income? Pfft, who needs to worry when we have Tazzie Devils!
*Leading the way socially: Can you believe society started calling them Tasmanian Devils?! I will enforce a change in the name to "Tasmanian Angels" alongside consistent brainw... I mean education... about how sweet and prolific these creatures are. All school subjects will feature Tasmanian Devils (soon Angels) in lesson plans - e.g. ex. maths q "Jane has 2 Tasmanian Devils and Peter has 1, who has more and is thus far happier."
No Tazzie Angel has the right to be discriminated and you will all be made to love and cherish them!
So Britain, time to make a choice. You want the same old parties with their fake promises... or Taz with his R.E.A.L. vision?
All hail the United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland, and Tasmania!
TL;DR Summary of policies
~ All religions outlawed except government-endorsed "Tazmanianity" - also made compulsory to worship in schools.
~ Breeding programmes across all of the UK for T. Devils, alongside Scuba-Diving T. Devils training.
~ All households to receive 1 T. Devil by 2020.
~ All tax forms abolished and only one form "Taz Tax" implemented at 20pcnt of an employed adults weekly wages.
~ Name changes to "Tasmanian Angels" will be implemented, alongside education about the cuteness of the animals themselves.
~ Tasmanian Devils to be a core part of every school subject!
Congratulations! You have met all the requirements set out so far in this competition. This means that you have qualified to continue on to the next round. Reluire will open a thread tomorrow where you will be able to post your speech. The deadline for speeches is 23:59 on the 16th of April. Good luck!