Hiding a secret from my past

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
Need advice..

I have a long history with my current boyfriend, we've been friends for several years, I lost my virginity to him, thinking I'd marry him and he left me for another girl a few months later.

That was three years ago now.

The year after he left me, (2 years ago) I got really depressed and ended up having 2 one night stands in the space of a month.

Alongside this I slept with two other guys, one of which I had a serious relationship and another that I saw for a few months.

The one night stands were completely out of character and I highly doubt I will ever get into that situation again.

I told my boyfriend when we got together that I had slept with 2 other people since we had been together and I hid that I had slept with 4 in total rather than 2. I was too ashamed to tell him about the one night stands.

He judged me a lot for sleeping with other people regardless.. which made me feel better for not telling him about the one night stands.

We've been together for a year now.. and recently the fact I had a one night stand slipped out.. I told him and it has devastated him. He's said a lot of horrible stuff about my character.. he's also incredibly upset I lied to him for a year about how many people I'd slept with.

I find it really hard to deal with the judgement he brings to the table when I tell him things about my past.. but he tells me I need to deal with the consequences of my actions..

The problem I face is that I haven't told him about one last person that I had slept with. The other one-night stand.

I originally thought I would be able to keep a secret.. but the fact that this slipped out is making me think I won't be able to keep this final secret from him..

I'm scared he will break up with me.. judge me and call me trash again.. and just make my life living hell.

He keeps saying he wants to marry me and move forwards but he can only do that when he knows the 100% truth about my past.. I'm just worried that this will be the final nail in the coffin.

Should I tell him?
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rubycarterx
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#2
Report 5 years ago
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YES. He wants you to come clean in order for you both to move on, he has actually straight up asked you to tell him so tell him, making it explicitly clear that is everything you had to hide, and that you have no more secrets now. Can you imagine if you got married and one day you let it slip that there was 1 other guy? He would be CRUSHED, so you have to tell him now! xx
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Plumstone
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Report 5 years ago
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I'm not sure I like the sound of this guy...he judged you for having slept with a couple of guys and then insulted you when he found out you had a one night stand?

And this is after he took your virginity and left you for another girl??

He sounds a bit controlling and judgemental to me. Have you questioned him about how many girls he's been with since you were first together?

My general policy is that people in relationships shouldn't lie to each other, so you may as well tell him, but if I were you, I'd be questioning whether or not you really want to be with him...
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