Replaced by my cousin

I've been having a lot of problems in my life lately, with uni and family back nome being ill. Its got to the point where I've started having counselling. There's one thing though that I'm not sure I can talk to about my counsellor; for fear of what she'll say. My mum had an operation a few weeks ago, and it was really tough going home and seeing her look so down. Anyway, since I've come back to uni, I feel like I've been replaced by my cousin.

She's 7monhs older than me and I've never thought of her as a true friend; our mum's had a huge argument because of the way she treated me at school (i was a loner; she was confident and had friends). Anyway, we didn't speak for a few years, despite living round the corner.

At the end of school, 3 years ago, we became close again and seemed to get on ok. I'm not the est at letting things go, but I truly believed we were ok.

And now it seems that since I've been at uni, she has wanted to replace me. She never talked to any of us before, and now she's taking my little sister out, having her over all the time: my sister didn't want me to go home this weekend because she's going shopping with her, and I would mess up her plans.

And then what really hurts is, she's completely turning my mum against me, or so it feels. Like two nights ago, I was in tears with stress, and battling depression. I phoned my mum just for a chat (she doesn't know what I'm going through). When my mum answered the phone she said she couldn't talk to me tonight as Amy was coming round for a chat.

Speaking grudgingly to my mum on the phone last night, all she did was go on about how great my cousin is, how nice it was to talk to her, how nice it is to have a grown up niece to talk to...Before I came to uni, I got on so well with my mum, and now thats just been thrown away, because my mum would prefer to talk to my cousin about it.

I'm at a dead end. I've been going on about how I hate uni and how I can't wait to go home. But relaistically, going home will involve me listening to how great my cousin is, talking about everything my mum and her have done. Then at xmas, i'll be expected to buy her an xmas present, and act as if nothing is wrong. I've done this for years, but really cannot go on like this. I would love to just cut her out of my life forever, but I know my mum would never speak to me again because of it.

I know this is a long post, but this is something I can't talk to anyone about, because they'll just say I'm jealous, or should give my cousin a chance. She's had too many chances, and there's no reason for me to be jealous of such a bitch that she is. :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I can relate to everythiing that you have said. My cousin seems to be my rival more than a cousin, i wish i could cut him out of my life. I dont talk to him much but i really need to cut him out of my life.

Reply 2

region2

well this is proof (As if it was needed) people dont want to talk to someone who is just going to moan all the time

maybe your cousin is so popular because she doesnt walk around with a big sulk on her face.

Reply 3

horrorboy

region2

If you have ever had depression you'l know its almost impossible to not sulk.

Anyway I think you need to make an attempt at getting friendly with your cousin again and maybe tell her some of your problems. She probably has no idea that you feel this way and can't understand your attitude. If you don't want to be friends though thats fine, like you said its probably just her. Id say that you are being oversensitive and she is being insensitive. Concentrate on letting your mum know how you feel and getting the depression better, I know it takes time but try joining clubs etc, also concentrate on your life and who knows you might end up with a better career having a nicer life than her :smile:

Reply 4

region2

there is a difference between 'depression' (god how easily is that word thrown around now) and jealousy, which is exactly what the thread creator is.

get over it and try and be more cheerful, get some friends and have a good time

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

oh whatever region. i have never felt so low in my life, there was a point where i was happy, and she was there to witness. I am fed up with having to walk round putting on a happy face for everyone else. and you think i'm jealous. biggest load of crap i've ever heard. I think i hate her. I just need to get away from her. :frown:

And yeah I am trying to get on with my life, I have good friends blah blah blah. doesn't stop me feeling so bad though. :frown:

Reply 6

Zafda

hmm.
i know why you feel the way you do, i can't imagine you ignoring it.. but although she's trying to replace you, just remember.. it'll take a lot for a member of the family who'd never associated with your family to replace someone who'd been in the family for like, 20 years. your mum will never love her the way she'll love you, as for your sister.. you know what teens are like, love is materialistic..

don't worry too much! you ought to concentrate on what you're doing at uni, but when you get the time to spend it with your family, do it well so at least you have no complaints, and neither do they..

Reply 7

C00kies

Sabotage.

Reply 8

anjurdsg

region2

well ok there, mr happiest man walking the planet

region2

thanks for pointing that out. i was totally illiterate before that. now i have learnt my ways.

:congrats:

Reply 9

Dragon24

Well it seems your cousin is trying to replace you and your family miss you around, hence the replacement. Your mom isn't a mind reader so you should tell her your problems, I bet when you have finished uni she wouldn't bother with your family :rolleyes: