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Am I being selfish?

Its my birthday tomorrow and my best friend says I will have to wait for my birthday present as she is skint as her loan hasn't come through :eek:

Though has mentioned how she goes for lunch everyday at the pub (very recently) with uni mates which costs a lot :eek:

I spent over £20 on her birthday and took her to meet her favourite singer, bought his book and a CD. I know cost isn't everything but do you think sacrifices once in a while wouldn't hurt and is it bad she has done this? :frown:

Reply 1

mc_hamster

1

Atleast they remembered it was your Birthday.

Reply 2

username47781

20

Yeah that's a bit mean considering she is eating out most days at the pub, then again is she paying the whole time or is one of her friends paying for her, but still does seem a little mean.

Reply 3

ScattyMadam

I suppose it depends on what she's planning to get you, at least she hasn't turned round and told you that you're not getting a present... who sacrifices 'pub-time' these days though? No one I know - but maybe that just says too much about my own circle.

Reply 4

hanadeka2002

I think that you shouldn't give to receive.I never expect presents from my friends, regardless of how much money I spent on them for their birthdays.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Are people reading the thread? Its says best friend and has money to go pub but not for a once a year birthday.

Reply 6

Zafda

8

Anonymous

Its my birthday tomorrow and my best friend says I will have to wait for my birthday present as she is skint as her loan hasn't come through :eek:

Though has mentioned how she goes for lunch everyday at the pub (very recently) with uni mates which costs a lot :eek:

I spent over £20 on her birthday and took her to meet her favourite singer, bought his book and a CD. I know cost isn't everything but do you think sacrifices once in a while wouldn't hurt and is it bad she has done this? :frown:

lol yeah it is a bit selfish, but i suppose you can't help but feel the way you do.
don't take it to heart, i don't think she's doing it on purpose.. maybe she's got a surprise for you? you never know!!

Reply 7

Alasdair

14

So what, chill out... I never expect Birthday presents from my friends. Which means that when I do get them, they're particularly nice...

Although it does make me feel bad when I forget to get them anything.

Reply 8

Amberoo

I would be peed off as it sounds like you made a huge effort BUT she has finacial problems and shes proberly jus sayin she goes to the pub for lunch to hide up shes havin money probs at end of day ti dosen't mean she thinks less of you etc jus she hasen't had the money/time. Don't let it affect your friendship.

Reply 9

Unregistered

i wouldnt worry at least she is honest, id value her friendship mor then material worth. i too never expect and when I do its lovely. I get more enjoyment out of giving anyway.

Reply 10

goodLife

Anonymous

Are people reading the thread? Its says best friend and has money to go pub but not for a once a year birthday.

I know how you feel, I bought my friend something and she didn't even get me a card, then again my bd is near christmas so I suppose she wouldn't remember the same. I don't think you should be thinking that just because she goes to the pub she has money cause presents cost more.

Reply 11

goodLife

Zafda

lol yeah it is a bit selfish, but i suppose you can't help but feel the way you do.

How is she selfish? Its just human nature to think like that Id say, be honest what would you think if your friend didn't get you anything but you got her?

Though at least the op's friend has remembered.

Reply 12

misslucifer

Anonymous

Are people reading the thread? Its says best friend and has money to go pub but not for a once a year birthday.

I dunno why you're asking us, from that reply it sounds as if you have already made your mind up.

If she's your best friend, obviously you're quite close. Perhaps it's that she's just adjusting to having to budget, or maybe she just isn't very good with her money. It doesn' sound as if she's doing it out of spite. You will get a birthday present, just not immediately.

I forget my mate's birthdays all the time. At least she remembered it is yours!!

Reply 13

MNBStyle

9

Anonymous

Its my birthday tomorrow and my best friend says I will have to wait for my birthday present as she is skint as her loan hasn't come through :eek:

Though has mentioned how she goes for lunch everyday at the pub (very recently) with uni mates which costs a lot :eek:

I spent over £20 on her birthday and took her to meet her favourite singer, bought his book and a CD. I know cost isn't everything but do you think sacrifices once in a while wouldn't hurt and is it bad she has done this? :frown:

Perhaps its due to going to the pub recentley that shes now skint???
Either way fact is shes remembered and is still planning on getting you a present so i wouldn't let it get to you, better than her not remembering at all.

Reply 14

LoveMusic

1

I think she was insensitive. She could have brought the OP a very small cheap present and card for her birthday, then got her something else laqter

Reply 15

Dragon24

17

LoveMusic

I think she was insensitive. She could have brought the OP a very small cheap present and card for her birthday, then got her something else laqter

Totally agree, even a 'Poundland' gift set would have been ok. Considering these people are supposed to be best friends - some people give more than others in friendships/relationships and she can't know you that well if something like this upsets you.

Reply 16

lexie_89

Your friend is a bit selfish
:birthday:

anyway

Reply 17

Eb

1

Anonymous

Its my birthday tomorrow and my best friend says I will have to wait for my birthday present as she is skint as her loan hasn't come through :eek:

Though has mentioned how she goes for lunch everyday at the pub (very recently) with uni mates which costs a lot :eek:

I spent over £20 on her birthday and took her to meet her favourite singer, bought his book and a CD. I know cost isn't everything but do you think sacrifices once in a while wouldn't hurt and is it bad she has done this? :frown:

Erm yah... you sort of do.
I wouldn't mind if I recieved nothing but a 'happy birthday' from all of my friends.
It's the thought that counts, to me anyway.

Reply 18

mute

1

Anonymous

Its my birthday tomorrow and my best friend says I will have to wait for my birthday present as she is skint as her loan hasn't come through :eek:

Though has mentioned how she goes for lunch everyday at the pub (very recently) with uni mates which costs a lot :eek:

I spent over £20 on her birthday and took her to meet her favourite singer, bought his book and a CD. I know cost isn't everything but do you think sacrifices once in a while wouldn't hurt and is it bad she has done this? :frown:

I don't like being given presents, or having money spent on me, because I worry that my friends think like you.

to be fair though, what you did was very thoughtful and I can understand that it might hurt for her not to put in a similar amount of effort into getting you something... I do think she could possibly cut down on pubbing to get a bit of money together though. maybe she needs to prioritise a bit.

Am I being selfish?

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