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Do I deserve the threats?

Basically a good friend of mine (who's a girl) is seeing this guy. I thought he was alright, but a girl came up to me to tell me that he'd been texting her asking her out and stuff..being a loyal friend I decided I should tell the girlfriend about the texts.
For about 5 days her bf constantly asked her who it was that told her about the texts, but she didn't want to dob me in. After this time, I just told him that it was me.

This was answered by "dude, ur a dead man." And while I stuck up for my side, the guy just made a whole bunch of threats. I said that he'd surely do the same in my situation but he goes "No, I'd have gone to you first to talk to you about it". I think that's bull, but what does anybody else think?

Do i deserve him being angry at me? Coz i think that he's the one who deserves the anger directed at him...

Reply 1

username47781

20

Well this sounds like something on the playground, to be honest was there actually any proof that he texted her? apart from this girl coming up and telling you he did?

Reply 2

Chewwy

17

yeah, you were in the right.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Carl1982

Well this sounds like something on the playground, to be honest was there actually any proof that he texted her? apart from this girl coming up and telling you he did?

Yeah, she showed me, he's a bit of a tosser to be brutally frank. Don't know why she's with him, but I wanted to make sure I'd done the right thing really.
He said that I'd stabbed him in the back, but I really don't see how...

Reply 4

username47781

20

Anonymous

Yeah, she showed me, he's a bit of a tosser to be brutally frank. Don't know why she's with him, but I wanted to make sure I'd done the right thing really.
He said that I'd stabbed him in the back, but I really don't see how...

Well if that's the case then i think at least she should have a right to know what he has been doing, he's only stabbed himself in the back by texting another girl behind his girlfriend's back, if he continues to threaten you go to the police.

Reply 5

wackysparkle

14

umm... you knew your friend before you knew her boyfriend, so its good that you told her first, otherwise you wulda lost a friend in this.

Reply 6

Zafda

8

Anonymous

Basically a good friend of mine (who's a girl) is seeing this guy. I thought he was alright, but a girl came up to me to tell me that he'd been texting her asking her out and stuff..being a loyal friend I decided I should tell the girlfriend about the texts.
For about 5 days her bf constantly asked her who it was that told her about the texts, but she didn't want to dob me in. After this time, I just told him that it was me.

This was answered by "dude, ur a dead man." And while I stuck up for my side, the guy just made a whole bunch of threats. I said that he'd surely do the same in my situation but he goes "No, I'd have gone to you first to talk to you about it". I think that's bull, but what does anybody else think?

Do i deserve him being angry at me? Coz i think that he's the one who deserves the anger directed at him...

hmm.. those threats are very very immature, i'd probably have done the same if i was in your place, let him be angry at you coz you've not actually done much wrong, but just keep your distance, you never know what he could do, he could either be trying to scare you or actually mean it..

Reply 7

cazle

wat he's saying is a load of my bum hole.. if you were friends with the other guy, then fair enouigh maybe dropping a word in might have helpd.

but to be honest, i would've done what you did, i mean if she's yoru good mate, then your loyalties lie with her and not him..

ignore him i say lol.

Reply 8

NickNack

1

if he says something again, look him in the eye, let out a laugh, tell him to "bite you" and walk off. Tis what i would do

EDIT: Obviously use a bit of judgement - if hes a master of Judo and JuJitsu, with a history of assault and/or murder charges against him, it might not be the best move. If he's just a class a w*nker, then laugh away

Reply 9

Profesh

20

You owe him nothing.

As you were.

Reply 10

MNBStyle

9

You was right to tell your friend, no doubts about that. As for the guys reaction that depends, if the texts were innocent then naturally hes going to be pissed off, then again if they wasn't innocent he will still be pissed off.
All in all you don't deserve the threats but its all to be expected, most likely he hopes threats will stop you revealing any bad things you hear about him, if any.

Reply 11

anjurdsg

11

thats why i dont bother interfering into people's relationships. let them be. this cheating thing happens all the time, everywhere.

Reply 12

Dragon24

17

anjurdsg

thats why i dont bother interfering into people's relationships. let them be. this cheating thing happens all the time, everywhere.

Totally agree, I found a friend's boyfriend on a dating website - he joined when he was with her looking for one night stands etc. I told another friend as I felt sick at my find but didn't tell the girl as I didn't like her boyfriend and it would look like I was saying told you so that he was an as*. So she found out off my friend and hasn't spoken to me since this happened 6 months ago (for 'witholding information'), but still talks to the cheat but not with him now :frown:

.

Its a lose lose situation, if she found out you knew she would be pissed but then you are letting her live a lie and be hurt. If you tell she may appreciate it or may feel your interfering. Let them get on with it and ignore his threats - call the police if he follows you or gets violent. I hate cheats, they always get away with it. There is a saying - 'Don't shoot the messenger'.

Reply 13

anjurdsg

11

Angel83

Totally agree, I found a friend's boyfriend on a dating website - he joined when he was with her looking for one night stands etc. I told another friend as I felt sick at my find but didn't tell the girl as I didn't like her boyfriend and it would look like I was saying told you so that he was an as*. So she found out off my friend and hasn't spoken to me since this happened 6 months ago (for 'witholding information'), but still talks to the cheat but not with him now :frown:

.

Its a lose lose situation, if she found out you knew she would be pissed but then you are letting her live a lie and be hurt. If you tell she may appreciate it or may feel your interfering. Let them get on with it and ignore his threats - call the police if he follows you or gets violent. I hate cheats, they always get away with it. There is a saying - 'Don't shoot the messenger'.

haha i see... maybe girls are different on the 'withhold information' bit.

if i withhold information, i will not reveal it to my friend unless i am asked to. because its none of my business.

if my mate gets pissed at me for withholding without him asking for it, its his problem, because its still none of my business.

i never interfere, unless i am actually asked for help.

PS: And yes, cheats are horrible. I got dumped by a once-upon-a-time girlfriend because she thought i was cheating on her. even though i wasnt :frown:

Do I deserve the threats?

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