Is this normal?

Basically I've been with the same guy since I was 16 (I'm 20). So basically all the 'good' teenage years where my friends were constantly partying and meeting loads of new people etc I was concentrating on school, maintaining a decent social life and seeing my boyfriend when I could (he's 3 years older so he was a uni during the week and the only opportunity I had to see him was at weekends).

Now i feel like I haven't had the proper teenage experience. You know turning 18 and having to attachments and being able to go out and enjoy myself without planning around someone else. i wouldn't say I feel like I've wasted them but rather that I didn't get the teenage 'blow out' years that my friends did. Also, I feel that if the relationship ends I'll have given up my last few teenage years for nothing.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation or felt this way? Any advice or anecdotes? Is feeling like this normal?

Reply 1

Koffing

Going out and acting like a degenerate is nothing that should be encouraged, the fact that so many teenagers think they are missing out by not having such experiences is sad and reflects our society and how low our values have fallen

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Koffing

never once did I say anything about 'going out and acting like a degenerate'. Just because my friends went out and drank does not mean they acted like degenerates. They simply went out and enjoyed themselves and met loads of new people.

People like you who judge from their high horse and make assumptions based on about 6 words are what's wrong with society.

Furthermore, I think you'll find that what I mentioned about missing out on was simply being able to go out when I wanted and be carefree. Going out doesn't necessarily mean drinking either. I have a few friends who don't drink and still go out and are in no way 'degenerates'. Plus, going out could mean to the cinema or for a meal.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Is there anyone on this site who can offer actual advice/answers?
That is as opposed to ignorant, annoying and pompous assumptions :frown:

Reply 4

TomWas'Ere2015

Original post by Anonymous

Cheer up. Remember people do like to remember the good and not the bad. They also like to exaggerate the good bits. Age is just a number. Besides some of your best years will be in your twenties. Teenage years are a bit fked up if you'll excuse my French

Reply 5

TomWas'Ere2015

Original post by Anonymous

Is there anyone on this site who can offer actual advice/answers?
That is as opposed to ignorant, annoying and pompous assumptions :frown:

Aaaand that'll be me :smile:

at your servixe

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by TomWas'Ere2015

thanks for the productive reply :smile:

I was bullied pretty much from primary school up until the start of GCSE when I moved school. Then a little over a year later I met my boyfriend - who has done a lot for me confidence wise

I guess it's just that I didn't have the normal start to teenage life or the 'normal' end I feel like I've missed out on a lot of things

Reply 7

hopeforthebest1

I am going to assume that you are still with your boyfriend? I totally understand why you feel the way you do. You are right in many ways you have missed out on those days of going out and having 'freedom' to just enjoy yourself and not be accountable to anyone else. You have, however, had the good fortune to be in a very stable and I trust happy relationship. There are so many girls on this forum who wish they could have just that. We all have to make compromises and don't get everything the exact way we want it. You certainly have not missed all your opportunities to go out and have a great time hanging out with friends or going to a club. What do you want more - the feeling of freedom to enjoy yourself and not have to worry about planning around or being accountable to anyone else or is being in a relationship that has proven to be very stable? You certainly will not have wasted years no matter what!! Maybe you can have both. Have you talked to your boyfriend? Hopefully he'll understand. If he doesn't and you don't feel that you can go and enjoy yourself with your friends (best if its a group of girls) without upsetting him then you might want to reevaluate your relationship.

Reply 8

Zarek

You probably had a better time than most teenagers. The answer is clear, split up, go wild.

Reply 9

phunky_fresh

Original post by Anonymous

I don't see why you can't just make time to go out and have a boyfriend. Plenty of my friends do it, they split their time and still enjoy being young. You don't have to see your boyfriend every weekend, or if you go out with friends on a Friday for instance you can see him on Saturday.

Reply 10

Musie Suzie

Honestly it sounds like you wouldn't have has enough time to go out anyway, even without a boyfriend, as you said you were always knackered on Fridays, had family day on Sundays, presumably before which you wouldn't feel you could go out on Saturdays as you'd be tired/hungover the next morning.

Anyway, as others have said, going out like that is overrated and many who do would swap it in a heartbeat for a stable, living relationship.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 11

SiminaM

You haven't missed out on anything.
Also, why can't you just go out on week days? If you were only thinking about parties, that's not what everyone does when going out. I go out with my friends on at least 3 week days and still have time for school and tutoring. On weekends I barely see them, I'd rather stay in bed, take long baths, watch tv shows, read, procrastinate and be lazy :colondollar:

I think I go to parties maybe 2 times a month and it just ruins my whole weekend :mad:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by SiminaM

You haven't missed out on anything.Also, why can't you just go out on week days? If you were only thinking about parties, that's not what everyone does when going out. I go out with my friends on at least 3 week days and still have time for school and tutoring. On weekends I barely see them, I'd rather stay in bed, take long baths, watch tv shows, read, procrastinate and be lazy :colondollar:

I think I go to parties maybe 2 times a month and it just ruins my whole weekend :mad:

going out and going things isn't a huge problem now as I'm at uni and my boyfriend is doing his masters at the same uni so I've a lot more spare time and we can be much more flexible on seeing eachother.

Its just I feel like i didn't get a proper teenage experience

Reply 13

gee321

Original post by Anonymous

Is there anyone on this site who can offer actual advice/answers?
That is as opposed to ignorant, annoying and pompous assumptions

okay so youve worked hard yay! and I'm assuming u got good grades or desired ones. and now u want to spice your life up a bit cus u think you've missed out on the 'blow out' haha. honestly, the past is over and gone and done so there's nothing you can change about it but considering the fact that your still 18 its quite young and ppl have more fun and crazy experiences during the 17-21 ages at least I feel so. just do whatever u feel like doing or the things u regret on not doing and for the meeting new people I'm assuming dating? correct me if I'm wrong but on that part id just say trying out new stuff with your bf so that it doesn't make u feel like your stuck w this person or thoughts around tat. and also many people spend their teenage years in many ways. few study hard work hard and have fun later on like u. they're not missing out on anything its just that they do it in a different time phase. few people only have fun and ignore their education and regret later and thereby have to work hard later on. few people balance the fun and their responsibilities and are good that way. so don't feel like you've missed out on stuff. try new stuff and have FUN RN your still in your teen years aha

OML I JUST REALIZED THIS IS 5 YEARS OLD SMHSMH