What do you think?

Okay, so, this is gonna be a bit of a long rant but here goes.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, a classmate and I was talking about some things and for some weird reason, we went from studies to meeting the 'one' and their opinions about homosexuality and things like that.

They asked me what I would do in the future about relationships and I just replied with a "when it happens, it happens with them" and they gave me a look and asked if I was gay, and I told them, "I dunno, I'll just find out in the future right? It's like my view on religion innit" and then they talked about how, while they aren't against homosexuality and all that, they would find it awkward and would avoid me because of their religion and because they'll feel nervous about the idea that I might have a crush on them or something,and I'm sorry but I gave in and said "that I was most likely straight anyway". That was the end of it but I dunno, I'm getting nervous.

Personally, like religion, I don't really care at the moment because all it cause is unwanted pressure and drama in my life so yeah. Love is love. Maybe I'll be straight, maybe I'll be gay, maybe even bi but who really knows now right? I really don't want this drama though especially because just a week before this event, I actually had a religious crisis where I stressed out and panicked in my decision to either say that I was aetheist or agnostic (secretly though because my relatives are quite religious) and I don't really want to go through that again.

I know some might say that I should stay away from this person or something but basically, this person is one of the only reasons why I'm staying at the place, in the least romantic way, ok?, so I don't want them to not talk to me. They're the closest thing to a friend to me and I dunno... I don't want to lose them.

It has been making me feel sick for a few weeks now and I'm starting to feel like if I don't decide, I',l probably stress myself out and I don't really need this with the exams coming up.

It seems like I'm being forced to make such heavy choices and decisions recently like what school I should go to, what is my religion and this.

I'm really sorry for whining and ranting but I really don't know what to do or what I should even think about this. Should I just ignore it or something?

This is really making me feel like a ridiculously hypocritical b- cause I am all about about how "love is love" and accepting who you are and how you shouldn't pay attention to labels but here I am, ranting about my problems and about how I'm trying to cover up who I am and about labeling myself

IMO though, I'll probably just adopt a kid or something cause I dunno, relationships seems like such a weird concept to me but my parents are all talking about my future and my family and yeah, and it's worse in my opinion because my family, my religious, conservative family with my religious, slightly homophobic, slightly stereotypist, slightly racist mother, will most likely hate me or something.

If not marrying makes them mad, imagine me saying that I might be gay or bi.

So yeah, any advice?

Reply 1

shawn_o1

You're still in school, where it seems as if everyone's in some race to find "the one". It doesn't exist. Relationships at school age are very naive and don't last long. So you should be glad you're playing the waiting game

Reply 2

Krish71190

Hey don't be that hard on you! Easy!!! A lot of pearsons have been in a crisis like that! there´s no reason to worry. Let the things happen and enjoy every part of it. Love, Love, LOVE, no matter who you rather love, dont private yourself for such an awesome feeling. At the end, its your life, you will live with the desicions you make today, so be wise. Listen what your parents and friends tell you, consider it and make your own criteria, and then decide whats best for you. Live is beautiful, dont waste your preacious time thinking about others opinions, think about what make you happy! :smile:

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