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Boyfriend really jealous
Ok I've been seeing my boyfriend for a while now, we're pretty serious, talked about getting married and having babies when we're older. But lately he's started getting really jealous of other boys. I seriously can't talk to another boy without him going mental. He shouted at me today cause I asked how a boy was on msn even though the boy was the boyfriend of a friend of ours 
.
He is even worse if I mention that I was talking to any boys at college. He always asks me who i've talked to and if I was to say a boy he would flip his lid. The thing is, he works in a night club and he works with a lot of girls (one was his ex although she doesnt work there anymore). He tells me he talks to them, that he's went over to the shops with them on their breaks and that he goes out the back for fags with them yet if I was to go mad at this he would say I was daft. He says this isn't the same as college which I don't get cause they're both colleagues so it is basically the same. I admit I do get insanely jealous of him talking to other girls and stuff but the difference is that when he does it something has usually happened to make me jealous. Not just that he said all of 2 words to her. Has anyone else ever had to deal with this and does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?
I really do love him. Insanely love him in fact, or I wouldn't put up with this and I know he loves me too but this is the only thing that really upsets me about our relationship.
.He is even worse if I mention that I was talking to any boys at college. He always asks me who i've talked to and if I was to say a boy he would flip his lid. The thing is, he works in a night club and he works with a lot of girls (one was his ex although she doesnt work there anymore). He tells me he talks to them, that he's went over to the shops with them on their breaks and that he goes out the back for fags with them yet if I was to go mad at this he would say I was daft. He says this isn't the same as college which I don't get cause they're both colleagues so it is basically the same. I admit I do get insanely jealous of him talking to other girls and stuff but the difference is that when he does it something has usually happened to make me jealous. Not just that he said all of 2 words to her. Has anyone else ever had to deal with this and does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?
I really do love him. Insanely love him in fact, or I wouldn't put up with this and I know he loves me too but this is the only thing that really upsets me about our relationship.
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Things are similar with me and my boyfriend. Practically all of his friends are girls yet if he sees me talking to another guy he flips. I personally don't put up with it, I let him know exactly how ridiculous he sounds, and he's slowly getting better. However I've learnt over the years that some guys just have double standards; one set of rules for you and another for them 
Jealousy is a hallmark of a very new relationship IMO. It's something you work out with time as your trust grows.
It needs to iron itself out or be sorted out because jealousy, like dishonesty, is like rot in a relationship.
It needs to iron itself out or be sorted out because jealousy, like dishonesty, is like rot in a relationship.
This isn't a new relationship like I already said and he does trust me to a certain point so I really don't know why he does this. He wasn't like this to start with though, that's the weird thing. This has came on over time.
From personal experience his type of jealously ruins relationships, re-assure him tell him they are just friends after all you are entitled to have a life outside your boyfriend. He sounds insecure and needy. He doesn't sound that lovely if he's telling you that you can't talk to boys yet he's talking to girls. I would hold off on the marriage plans if I were you.
It's easier for the baby plans to come to fruition than marriage plans sometimes 
Don't get pregnant!
You need to sort it out. Are you sure it's love and not just co-dependency?
Don't get pregnant!
You need to sort it out. Are you sure it's love and not just co-dependency?
at least your bf gets jealous, i've had a guy grope my arse and try to caress my crotch in front of my (massively tall and athletic) bf who just laughed. in spite of the fact that he's pretty ripped looking, guys feel like they can do whatever to me in front of him cos they know he doesn't really do jack about it. grrrrr.
imo, a little bit of jealousy is a healthy thing. excessive amounts are annoying, but just so long as he doesn't actually get angry at you, and just expresses his frustration with it, it's not too bad really.
imo, a little bit of jealousy is a healthy thing. excessive amounts are annoying, but just so long as he doesn't actually get angry at you, and just expresses his frustration with it, it's not too bad really.
The thing is, we are really each others life so he might think I shouldn't need to talk to any other boys because we are basically with each other all the time apart from when I'm at college or he's at work and at night when I go home. He can be the sweetest person on the planet to me and treat me like a princess but sometimes, especially if he's jealous over something, he can be really hurtful.
grace
at least your bf gets jealous, i've had a guy grope my arse and try to caress my crotch in front of my (massively tall and athletic) bf who just laughed. in spite of the fact that he's pretty ripped looking, guys feel like they can do whatever to me in front of him cos they know he doesn't really do jack about it. grrrrr.
imo, a little bit of jealousy is a healthy thing. excessive amounts are annoying, but just so long as he doesn't actually get angry at you, and just expresses his frustration with it, it's not too bad really.
imo, a little bit of jealousy is a healthy thing. excessive amounts are annoying, but just so long as he doesn't actually get angry at you, and just expresses his frustration with it, it's not too bad really.
He does actually get angry at me though which is why this bothers me so much.
Is what he does purposefully hurtful or does it just hurt your feelings along the way? Have you spoken to him?
Someone who goes out of their way to hurt you - or not modify their behaviour knowing it hurts you - is out of line!
Someone who goes out of their way to hurt you - or not modify their behaviour knowing it hurts you - is out of line!
You need to stand up and tell him, i think he is being very hypercritical, i dumped my ex in the end when something like this repeatedly happened, despite the number of times i talked to her about it and that she promised not to get so jealous.
Tbh, I'm having a bit of a pregnancy scare just now but I'm not too worried about it.
What you said about love or co-dependancy.. it has actually got me thinking. We've ditched all our mates for each other. It's always just us two all the time and if we were to break up we would both have no one. I do love him but I also think that is part of it cause tbh I take a lot of sh*t off him which I would never have done with anyone else.
What you said about love or co-dependancy.. it has actually got me thinking. We've ditched all our mates for each other. It's always just us two all the time and if we were to break up we would both have no one. I do love him but I also think that is part of it cause tbh I take a lot of sh*t off him which I would never have done with anyone else.
Anonymous
Is what he does purposefully hurtful or does it just hurt your feelings along the way? Have you spoken to him?
Someone who goes out of their way to hurt you - or not modify their behaviour knowing it hurts you - is out of line!
Someone who goes out of their way to hurt you - or not modify their behaviour knowing it hurts you - is out of line!
I don't think he does it on purpose because he has apoligised afterwards to me and admitting he has been wrong but then he does it again.
Well then he knows it hurts you and hasn't changed which is as bad as.
Ermm so he's sorry then he does it again, sorry but things aren't as good as you are making it out to be, he's got serious issues, you shouldn't have to ditch your mates just because you have a boyfriend.
He needs to stop getting jealous like that or it will destroy your relationship no matter how much love is involved. You may be able to put up with it now but over time it's just going to slowly tear the relationship apart and you'll reach the point where you're no longer willing to put up with it. You can't go your life without talking to boys or having male friends.
So what can you do about it? Well there isn't much. If you haven't given him reason to not fully trust you then it's all down to him. The most you can do is have a chat and explain how you feel and that you don't want to be controlled. If that doesn't work then you're going to have to drop hints that his jealousy is ruining the relationship.
So what can you do about it? Well there isn't much. If you haven't given him reason to not fully trust you then it's all down to him. The most you can do is have a chat and explain how you feel and that you don't want to be controlled. If that doesn't work then you're going to have to drop hints that his jealousy is ruining the relationship.
No the mate ditching thing isn't an issue. We both had the same mates and we just sort of phased them out and now we just don't see them anymore cause we'd rather just be together.
Ditching your mates is not good, as you said it falls apart, which it will if he continues like this, you will have no one to talk to. Not only that he is slowly destroying your self-esteem and getting you tied down and trapped.
I've actually seen it that way myself before but sometimes he does say to my "why do you not meet up with (so and so) and go out for a drink?" but for some reason the thought of that scares me now and I just say I don't want to.
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