Don't know who I am?!?!?!

Aaargh!!! I think I'm having an identity crisis! I don't know who I am :confused:

My confusion got bad when I started uni, my uni is in a posh area and people have a different mentality to the rough areas of London where I'm from. I don't know how to behave, do I suddenly change and become posh to fit in?

Normally I would tell someone in this situation to be themselves, BUT I'm starting to believe that personality depends on environment and since I'm not in my old environment anymore I'm not who I used to be.

Then there's my 'home personality' my home environment which brings out different parts of my personality.

I'm so confused! I don't know who I am, feel like I'm constantly having to change to fit it!

What is acceptable in one environment isn't in another and I don't like not being accepted...

Catch 22!!!!

Reply 1

squigaletta

There is a difference between changing who you are and being selective with the aspects of your personality that you show. What you have to learn to do is select which bit of the real you are suitable to be displayed at uni, as oposed to the bits you show at home. Eg. I act differently with my bf and my family, they just bring out different sides of me because I have different relationships with me. does that make any sense at all? its late!!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

LoL yes it is late, but yes that does make sense : D

Reply 3

Neptune, God of the Seas

Sure, this isn't too helpful, but "Don't know who I am?!?!"- Anonymous brought a smile to my face.
You behave differently around different people? Like squigaletta said, I don't think there's so much wrong with that, everyone behaves differently around their friends to their grandparents of partner- you're not being fake half the time, each personality you're displaying is no less you than any other.

Reply 4

c9679

Thats because your Anonymous, maybe if you gave yourself a name you would remember who you where???

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Haha oh yeah, I didn't even consider the anonymous irony lol

anyway yah i think squiggs hit the nail on the head! it's about SELECTIVITY!!!!

why didn't i think of that? so it's not about being the same person all the time, just selecting which parts of your personality to excentuate depending on the situation!!!!

sometimes you just need someone elses brain to figure things out!

Reply 6

petay

Definetly right about being selective about what you do in front of different people. Having not met any new people from different backgrounds for a long time i didnt know this, and acted the same in front of new people as i did at home, trust me it didnt go down well. Its a touchy subject tho, and hard to deal with

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

also this is bloody annoying when it comes to music!!!

aaarggggghhhhhhhh!!!! who cares?!?!?! why can't people just accept you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

night

Reply 8

danni_bella

To the OP I sorta know what you mean :redface:

I went from a state-educated school to a university where the population is largely from rich private schools, and yep I subtely changed some of my habits to suit theirs :biggrin:

Not that much though, so you can still see the real me after some time. I think what you're doing is fine, although I'd suggest being your real self amongst good friends after you get to know them more :smile:

HTH and well done on getting into a good uni, I appreciate that it wouldn't have been terribly easy :wink:

Reply 9

tanusha-tomsk

I really do understand what you mean. :redface:

I am a different person in Russia than I am in England. I like the Russian me better. I England I feel like I'm kinda betraying myself to fit in. I do things that I don't believe in like moaning about stuff (because if I keep saying "will you stop moaning, so many people have it much worse than you" people wll start avoiding me :p:

). These personality traits are still there and that's what my british friends love me for, it's just that they are not as distinct and strong as in the Russian me. Forget democracy, forget freedom of speech and radiation-free solutions to problems, I can't be free in a country where I can't truly be me!

What a pointless post. I suppose that's what internet is for.

Reply 10

Mike_Davies

Anonymous

Aaargh!!! I think I'm having an identity crisis! I don't know who I am :confused:

Dont worry about it too much back home I had 2 different groups of friends one from where I lived in a fairly posh area and another in a rough area of town! You just find that you have to adopt a different mentality mainly due to the surroundings! However I do find if drunk and there is the possibility of an argument or trouble the worse side of me will start to show through but the majority of the time im fairly normal! After a while you will kind of get used to it and adopt a middle personality i.e a personality which will fit in with both sides of your life!