Join in on our 'Guess the Rep' Competition! >>

Friend going to same uni

me and my best mate have been friends since we were 11, we went to the same school although we haven't always hung out together, but at the moment we're both at the same college and we meet up every lunch and break time because we haven't really made other friends (although she's made more than me). we've both changed since school, and don't agree and get on as much as we used to even since last year, and sometimes i feel we're drifting apart and continuing to hang out together through necessity more than anything.

my problem is that we've both put down the same university as our first choice and i'm not sure how to feel about it. on the one hand it will be great because we can meet up and won't feel so home sick, and we've also agreed we'll live together in the second year, but on the other hand (and i've felt this from the beginning) i've had a pretty hard time at school, which has made it difficult for me at college to make friends, and i was hoping university was going to be a 'fresh start' for me, but since shes coming too i feel like things won't change - we'll still be relying on each other too much (i said college was going to be a fresh start as well).

should i really be feeling like this seeing as i know uni will be completely different to school/college? :frown:

Reply 1

Phantom Phoenix

Well, you won't HAVE to see her, but it's going to be pretty difficult to suddenly start ignoring her - and you're right, if you have a best friend already then there's no real impetus to go out and make new ones. I deliberately didn't go to the same uni as one of my best friends because I wanted a completely new start, and I haven't regretted that decision yet.

Are you doing the same subjects or living in the same halls (I s'pose it's too early to know about accommodation)? Because if not, you'll have different friends in both areas and you just won't see much of each other because you'll be caught up in your own course and halls, meeting new people in those situations. Friends who I know have deliberately gone to uni together have almost always ended up drifting apart simply because they didn't have as much time (or, it has to be said, inclination) to spend with each other as they had before.

However, if you're that worried about being stuck with her, could you consider going to a different uni?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

thats another problem, when applying to unis my parents put a pretty strict rule on where i applied to (no more than 100 miles away) and so i've found it pretty hard to find a university that does my course and that i could get into - my first choice uni has been like miracle-find. whereas my friend has loads of unis that she could get into, but has her heart set on Kent as its the first one she went round (and presumably fell in love with :confused:

). i do keep dropping little pushes to try and change her mind but i also think shes been doing the same with me, for example when i went on a open day she text me asking 'is [said uni] still first choice?' and when i was applying she asked me 'so whats first and second choice then?' when she already knew.

as far as accommodation goes, we might be living in the same type of accommodation but with any luck we won't be sharing a flat/house unless we're really unlucky (until the second year that is).

Reply 3

Angelil

Chances are you won't see one another that much and by next Christmas you'll have changed your mind about living together in the second year anyway. Besides, what's to say you'll even both get in?

I was at secondary school with someone I was quite close to. Exeter was my firm and her insurance, so I was quite surprised to run into her on campus in November - turned out she hadn't met the conditions for her firm. Despite getting on well at school, we NEVER see each other at uni. I do Classics and English, she does Maths. We lived in separate halls that were at completely opposite ends of campus and in our second year we lived at totally opposite ends of town. Your lives will change beyond recognition at uni - don't commit yourselves by making promises you can't keep.

Reply 4

Fleece

One of my best mates went to the same uni as me, and I hardly ever saw him.

Never in uni anyway.

We'd meet up outside, but we both had our own sets of friends. He's still one of my best mates now, so that needn't change.

And for you to say you're going to share a house in the second year now, is a little premature.

Trust me, things will change.

And, you and your flatmates/coursemates will prob be discussing housing for second year before Christmas next year, and it may seem a bit like you're alientating yourself if you just go and live with your friend from home.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I feel the same! My friend has out of the blue decided to go to the same university as me. We have been friends for years and it will be nice to see a friendly face around. But at the same time I wanted to meet new people and branch out on my own. Im not as excited about university any more. :frown:

Reply 6

beccaarr

My best friend decided to transfer to my uni when I started (she went somewhere else last year while I took a gap year). I asn't sure at first, infact it got to the point where I really didn't want her there because I wanted to start a fresh. But now, I love the fact she's here. It hasn't stopped me making friends at all.