Pregnant before Uni starts Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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I've just found out I'm in the early stages of pregnancy the same week I've gotten into university and due to start this September.

I'm in 2 minds just now as I have waited for uni for a while and I'm completely ready for it. However I am against abortion and have been for a while so not sure what to do.

I have told the father of the baby, who I am not in a relationship with, and he wants me to have an abortion.

Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?

And before anyone judges I was on the pill Cerazette and had been for months so this was a complete shock.
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Exon
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#2
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Think about these two things before you go ahead with having the child:
- That child most likely won't have a father since the father wants it aborted.
- You'll have to juggle childcare and university work. Some people struggle doing just one of those.
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cherryred90s
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've just found out I'm in the early stages of pregnancy the same week I've gotten into university and due to start this September.

I'm in 2 minds just now as I have waited for uni for a while and I'm completely ready for it. However I am against abortion and have been for a while so not sure what to do.

I have told the father of the baby, who I am not in a relationship with, and he wants me to have an abortion.

Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?

And before anyone judges I was on the pill Cerazette and had been for months so this was a complete shock.
I'm not sure that you'll be able to successfully complete your 1st year if you were to have the baby. You'll miss a whole lot. You living in halls? Or at home? Living at home would make it easier for you to juggle both. Don't forgot about the financial side of things, there's also a childcare grant you'll be eligible for. It's doable if you want to keep the baby (regardless of whether the father is present or not) my sister fell pregnant in uni but luckily it was her final year, was still a bit difficult and money sure was tight but she manages and due to graduate this summer
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TheTruthTeller
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Quality of life vs sanctity of life. Your choice, don't make anybody else do it for you.
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Leanney
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I understand that you're against abortion but think rationally about this - would having an abortion be better than having an unwanted child? I am pro-abortion and the way I think about it is that the foetus is a foetus and not a human being yet.

I don't know if this post is helpful I just don't want someone to ruin their life just because they're against abortions.
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dyslexicvegie
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Firstly you have my sympathy sweetheart.
You say you are against abortion so lets go with that:

You do have the option of deferring so your first year starts in 2016.

Also you can clear/ transfer/ adjust into a more local uni if you want to stay at home.

You can ring the uni and organise that after u get ur results.

Many Uni's have child care services.

Do a bit of research so you can make an informed decision. You should also probably tell your mum.
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cherryred90s
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(Original post by Leanney)
I understand that you're against abortion but think rationally about this - would having an abortion be better than having an unwanted child? I am pro-abortion and the way I think about it is that the foetus is a foetus and not a human being yet.

I don't know if this post is helpful I just don't want someone to ruin their life just because they're against abortions.
pro-abortion or pro-choice
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Plumstone
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(Original post by Leanney)
I am pro-abortion.
For the sake of humanity, I hope you mean that you're pro-choice, rather than pro-abortion...

OP, my advice to you is to talk to your family about this situation and discuss your options with them.

There are people who manage to raise a child whilst doing their degree, there are people who quit uni because they can't cope with the pressure, there are people who have abortions because their degree comes first and nobody can tell what kind of person you will be.

The choice is yours, but don't feel that you are alone - reach out to the people who are there to support you.
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Stewie2011
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Guy should not have sex with girl unless he is willing to be a father if that eventuality occurs in my opinion, contraception or not. If he likes you enough to have sex with you he should accept the possibility of becoming a father as part of the sex otherwise he should not have sex.
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cherryred90s
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(Original post by Stewie2011)
Guy should not have sex with girl unless he is willing to be a father if that eventuality occurs in my opinion, contraception or not. If he likes you enough to have sex with you he should accept the possibility of becoming a father as part of the sex otherwise he should not have sex.
True, but she's pregnant now so this speech is a little late
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ElChapo
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(Original post by Stewie2011)
Guy should not have sex with girl unless he is willing to be a father if that eventuality occurs in my opinion, contraception or not. If he likes you enough to have sex with you he should accept the possibility of becoming a father as part of the sex otherwise he should not have sex.
Do you even sex??

Posted from TSR Mobile
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BCMFM16
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've just found out I'm in the early stages of pregnancy the same week I've gotten into university and due to start this September.

I'm in 2 minds just now as I have waited for uni for a while and I'm completely ready for it. However I am against abortion and have been for a while so not sure what to do.

I have told the father of the baby, who I am not in a relationship with, and he wants me to have an abortion.

Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?

And before anyone judges I was on the pill Cerazette and had been for months so this was a complete shock.
I know its up to you, but in my opinion I think you should keep the child.

If you choose to abort it, you will live a life of regret due to aborting the child, a child who would have loved you and would have called you mum.

Some universities are supporting of this, they will provide day care.

Having a child is to forever decide to have your heart walking around outside your body.
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Anonymous #2
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My mum was pregnant with me when starting her masters in nursing. She troubled through as a single parent, and now she's an advanced nurse practitioner, earning £60000+. It might be hard for a few years, but it will all pay off in the end. Don't terminate a life because it will make things slightly more stressful for you, that's just ridiculous.
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MiniR
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You could always put the baby up for adoption and give it to a couple who cannot themselves have children.
If you are against abortion, but aren't ready for a child, this may be an option to consider.
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cherryred90s
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My mum was pregnant with me when starting her masters in nursing. She troubled through as a single parent, and now she's an advanced nurse practitioner, earning £60000+. It might be hard for a few years, but it will all pay off in the end. Don't terminate a life because it will make things slightly more stressful for you, that's just ridiculous.
Well, it won't be 'slightly' more stressful, her whole life will change dramatically if she chooses to go ahead with it
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Leanney
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(Original post by adriana95)
pro-abortion or pro-choice
(Original post by Plumstone)
For the sake of humanity, I hope you mean that you're pro-choice, rather than pro-abortion...

OP, my advice to you is to talk to your family about this situation and discuss your options with them.

There are people who manage to raise a child whilst doing their degree, there are people who quit uni because they can't cope with the pressure, there are people who have abortions because their degree comes first and nobody can tell what kind of person you will be.

The choice is yours, but don't feel that you are alone - reach out to the people who are there to support you.
Well yes, of course pro-choice but some people don't understand the meaning of the term so saying pro-abortion in the context that I did meant the same thing.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Leanney)
Well yes, of course pro-choice but some people don't understand the meaning of the term so saying pro-abortion in the context that I did meant the same thing.
Lol no it really didnt
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neal95
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Get rid of it. You need to be financially secure ideally otherwise it's unlikely the baby will have the stable and successful upbringing it needs. The absent father role also isn't really a good ring to put a child through when they are young. I am sure there will be oppurtunities for you to have children in the future with a man you love and when you are financially secure and have a job. No one is forcing you to get rid of the baby but there is a usually an order in life where certain steps should be completed before others, and in my opinion childbirthing is one of them
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Lulu24
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've just found out I'm in the early stages of pregnancy the same week I've gotten into university and due to start this September.

I'm in 2 minds just now as I have waited for uni for a while and I'm completely ready for it. However I am against abortion and have been for a while so not sure what to do.

I have told the father of the baby, who I am not in a relationship with, and he wants me to have an abortion.

Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?

And before anyone judges I was on the pill Cerazette and had been for months so this was a complete shock.
Well firstly congratulations !

I'd advise you to speak to your parents. Adoption is the best "getting rid of" option imo, then a child wouldnt die and you'd still get your "freedom" if that's what you want. However if you want to raise the child, many universities offer accomodation for women with children, and day centre's and grants, and you are also entitled to more student finance with a child etc. So i'd say it's worth ringing up the university and asking them what they can offer you and how they can help. It's not impossible.

There is also part time university degree's which yes, may take a year or 2 longer but it would mean you could still manage everything and ensure you get a decent career whilst being a mum. The thing is, so many mature students study whilst having children, it's definitely NOT impossible and i don't think being young means you can't be a good mum.

You could also take a year out, which would give you a year for the baby to grow up at which point it would be entitled to go to nursery as they take from around 3 months old, which would make it easier for you. Once you have an offer, the uni can't take it away from you even if you defer.

It's very easy for him to say he "wants you to have an abortion" because he isn't the one who's going to go through the physical and emotional turmoil of losing a child. That being said, i'd speak to his parents. Ultimately it's your decision not theirs though.
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BCMFM16
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(Original post by adriana95)
I didn't say that. I do understand your original comment a little more now though. I thought you were female is all
Plot twist...
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