Put off when he's too affectionate

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Anonymous #1
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How normal is it to have mixed feelings sometimes when someone is affectionate towards you, even though you've been involved with them for months? Like my boyfriendish thing called me his lovely little baby the other day and said that he missed cuddling me (we've not had the chance to meet for awhile) and it was nice and it makes me happy when he says affectionate things ...but at the same time it kind of makes me, idk, uncomfortable. And I think he probably feels the same way too when I like say I miss him sometimes. Is this normal if you're not in a relationship with a person? Cos saying 'I miss you my darling' etc doesn't seem too FWBy to me. But I think if it was actually a relationship I'd know about it.
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shawn_o1
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It's like your teacher calling you "love" even though you're never going to be in a relationship with him, it's happened to me once
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
It's like your teacher calling you "love" even though you're never going to be in a relationship with him, it's happened to me once
Haha don't think it's too similar tbh
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phunky_fresh
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How normal is it to have mixed feelings sometimes when someone is affectionate towards you, even though you've been involved with them for months? Like my boyfriendish thing called me his lovely little baby the other day and said that he missed cuddling me (we've not had the chance to meet for awhile) and it was nice and it makes me happy when he says affectionate things ...but at the same time it kind of makes me, idk, uncomfortable. And I think he probably feels the same way too when I like say I miss him sometimes. Is this normal if you're not in a relationship with a person? Cos saying 'I miss you my darling' etc doesn't seem too FWBy to me. But I think if it was actually a relationship I'd know about it.
Lmao your boyfriendish thing that's a new one. The lovely little baby part sounds a bit creepy in my opinion. I guess if you are so uncomfortable with him being affectionate when you aren't in a relationship, you should let him know.
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miser
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Maybe you want to be FWB, but he wants to be cuddle buddies?
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Kvothe the Arcane
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Do you want to be with him?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by miser)
Maybe you want to be FWB, but he wants to be cuddle buddies?
What are "cuddle buddies"?
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Gladiatorsword
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hehehehehehheheheheheheheheheheh ehe i like your boyfriend he can be my little baby and cuddle buddy
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miser
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What are "cuddle buddies"?
It's being friends with someone, but you also cuddle with them and are affectionate.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by phunky_fresh)
Lmao your boyfriendish thing that's a new one. The lovely little baby part sounds a bit creepy in my opinion. I guess if you are so uncomfortable with him being affectionate when you aren't in a relationship, you should let him know.
Actually I remembered wrong lol he called me his lovely little -my name- and his little baby (both on the same day, last Saturday), if that makes any difference. He was being really affectionate on Saturday and idk why (I asked if he was drunk when he initiated the first convo that day/late Fri night and he said no). I have mixed feelings which is why I don't wanna say anything. It does annoy me a bit that he engages in baby talk with me because I don't know where we stand as a result of it (among other things), but at the same time I can't complain too much when I also sometimes call him 'baby', say I'm his -embarrassing pet name he has for me-, etc. (But in my defence he is the one who started with 'baby' and petnames.)
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Reeeeyah
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I think it's quite normal, I am the same.

It makes me cringe a bit, inside.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by miser)
It's being friends with someone, but you also cuddle with them and are affectionate.
But he wants sex too...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by keromedic)
Do you want to be with him?
IDK. I've never had a casual relationship before. Maybe I'm in one now, but it's so casual that he just says I am his 'friend' (to me I mean - we don't have mutual friends, just accqaintances, and IDK what he says to his friends about me if anything). I don't feel like entering a serious relationship but I get the feeling that if we put a label on things he'd expect us to be really serious? As bizarre as it sounds it kind of feels like our relationship options are either 1) have a weird quasi relationship 'friendship' or 2) like, get engaged 0-0
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remitwo
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when he says things like i miss you, i miss cuddling you etc. maybe you didn't miss him that much and that's why it made you uncomfortable?

i think in the beginning of a relationship it's normal to feel uncomfortable with (new) nicknames and being affectionate, but if you have been together for a long time and you are invested in this relationship you should just be able to say it makes you feel weird when he baby talks to you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by remitwo)
when he says things like i miss you, i miss cuddling you etc. maybe you didn't miss him that much and that's why it made you uncomfortable?

i think in the beginning of a relationship it's normal to feel uncomfortable with (new) nicknames and being affectionate, but if you have been together for a long time and you are invested in this relationship you should just be able to say it makes you feel weird when he baby talks to you.
We're not 'together'. Read what I've said more thoroughly please
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anosmianAcrimony
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In an indeterminate relationship where the status of the relationship is left vague and mainly unspoken about, I think it's predictable that one person is going to be more affectionate than the other person is entirely comfortable with. I suggest you talk it through with him and decide exactly what the two of you want to be to each other. If you decide to be just friends, hopefully he'll stop being uncomfortably overaffectionate; if you decide to be more, maybe that will make the affection more comfortable.
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by miser)
It's being friends with someone, but you also cuddle with them and are affectionate.
That sounds like fun. I'm going to have to find myself a cuddle buddy.
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