So I'll be leaving my country next year for university leaving my girlfriend behind. I believe I might be in love with her yet I haven't told her yet..
She's a year younger than me and she still has her senior year left, but, after she's done with high school she'll be leaving the country as well..for university.
what are your views on long distance relationships? do they work? I'll be visiting only two-three times a year.
I really like her and it'd really suck if we'd have to end it over distance because everything is going perfectly.
Long distance relationships are painful, depressing, stressful and nobody should get involved in one unless they genuinely believe that the person is worth the effort.
I've been in an LDR for the past four years and in one month, I'm finally going to move in with my boyfriend which is fantastic, but I'm still spending tonight missing him, wishing he weren't so far away and that I could do more than have a grainy skype conversation with him.
My advice is that you talk to her and agree between you what you want to do. A long distance relationship is not for the faint hearted and you need to go into this with your eyes open.
Isn't the case for everybody but I'm really struggling my current LDR for various reasons I won't really get into, I'll just do a quick summary of thoughts when looking back at my LDR
One kinda of advice I'll say about LDR over university (especially when in different uni's or countries), as its a stage in your life where you will both row as person immensely, you may come to a point where you don't recognise each other, even if you communicate really well and regularly you may realise you act like a completely different person when your not around them. You won't realise these changes most of the time but you do grow and change every minute of every day, at the end you may realise that your not the people you both fell in love with, which sucks but its something that can't be helped.
Unfortunately nobody can tell if it'll work out or not as every relationship is different, just make sure you don't feel like your going to regret trying to stay together if it all goes wrong. Like others have said though doesn't mean things can't work out, plenty of LDR's do.
All this being said if you believe you can make it work and you believe your love for each other is strong enough then you should give a good shot and work at it.
Long distance doesn't work. It never works. Find some local girls and have fun while you still can, there's no point in getting tied down to one person, especially if she's not in the same city as you. You'll forget about her very quickly, move on with your life and leave her behind.
Talk about the distances. How far?
There are quite a lot of cravats with LDR, but if you're both the 'right kind of people' and feel the other person is worth it, it can work.
Y ou can't touch them, go out or spend time together. Doing things online isn't the same as doing things with someone you can see most of the time. I've had two but I don't count them as anything real. Logically thinking, internet based relationships are illogical.
I'm in a similar situation too except me and my boyfriend are going into separate unis quite far apart :'( I believe it will work when both of you really want it to, well that's what I'm going to try with mine anyway, if there's a will there's a way!
As others have said, it depends on the relationship. Mine turned into an LDR last year and it is difficult, but you do get used to it. We're facing another year of it while my boyfriend goes back to uni further away to do a masters in September, but after that the plan is for him to look for a job near to where I'll be working so we can move in together, which makes it easier for me - it was more difficult when there was a lot of uncertainty but now that's mostly gone for a bit. Distance can get in the way of even what would appear to be the best relationships. My flatmate and her boyfriend, despite making a really good couple, have just mutually broken up after around 8 months of long distance, because they're currently in different countries and neither has any plan to move back/away from where they are, so they can't see a time when they'll be together physically. They're still friends and have said if they are ever in the same place permanently then maybe they could try again. For some couples, the thought of going long distance is too much, and makes them re-evaluate how they feel about the person - IMO the fact that you're thinking about giving it a good go is a good sign.
I think LDRs are always worth a try provided you're committed to the person and you feel like it's worth the effort it will take to maintain a strong relationship. Give it a go, and if it doesn't work out you can say that at least you tried. But remember it will be difficult, and you will need to communicate really well to keep the romance alive and to resolve any differences too, because arguments are much harder when you're not physically together. Don't give up at the first sign of it being difficult because there will be many difficult times, but remember if it's making you more unhappy than happy overall and there's no end in sight to the distance then don't feel like you have to carry on with it. Talk things through with your girlfriend and see what's best for both of you.