Best friend stopped talking to me for no reason - what now?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 6 years ago
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I have been friends with this girl for about 10 years. I would definitely consider my other half in terms of a friend, until recently that is. I am currently on my year abroad. Before this we saw each other for dinner or drinks quite frequently. She is a wonderful person but she's complex and has suffered from depression for the past few years.

One big thing that changed: she got a boyfriend who I believe is a bit controlling. Whenever we were out together he would text/call her incessantly so that being with her wasn't much fun anymore. He claimed to "love" her but would be emotionally abusive. And she would stay.

My friend intended to visit me abroad. She planned the dates and found good flights. Suddenly I heard nothing. And, aside from a short xmas message, I have heard nothing since. I tried contacting her once, expressing that I was upset and if I inadvertently upset her in any way to let me know. I even went home for a week & she didn't respond to messages RE meeting up. It may sound but a bit melodramatic but I thought we would be the bridesmaids at each others weddings and all that jazz. It hurts a lot.

So what now? I still have her on Facebook and often see "happy" pics of her and bf together. I'd rather not have her on it at all. Should I delete her? Or ride it out & hope she'll respond at some point?
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DannyGeldart
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Report 6 years ago
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If her BF is a total D***head, he may be purposely hiding your messages or deleting them trying to block you out... If your friendship means everything you which by this I assume it does, do you have the money/ the chance to come home and visit? I know it was just easter like so the chances of doing it now are slim but I think it may be an idea for you to go to her (mainly because of her BF being quite controlling). Perhaps go for drinks with them both and put on a happy face for him regardless if you hate him. Or ask friends to get inside knowledge for you, ask them to drop hints or pointers to her back home and relay what she has said back to you. I know this is a "sly" way of doing this sort of stuff but it may work.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 6 years ago
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(Original post by DannyGeldart)
If her BF is a total D***head, he may be purposely hiding your messages or deleting them trying to block you out... If your friendship means everything you which by this I assume it does, do you have the money/ the chance to come home and visit? I know it was just easter like so the chances of doing it now are slim but I think it may be an idea for you to go to her (mainly because of her BF being quite controlling). Perhaps go for drinks with them both and put on a happy face for him regardless if you hate him. Or ask friends to get inside knowledge for you, ask them to drop hints or pointers to her back home and relay what she has said back to you. I know this is a "sly" way of doing this sort of stuff but it may work.
Well when I came home to visit for a week and asked to meet up, she didn't respond. It hurt me that this was my one week back home and other friends were keen to meet up, while she didn't seem to care. She did "like" a photo of my and another friend from together at new year which confirmed that she knew I was home but was choosing not to meet.

She has now stopped speaking to all our mutual friends and only hangs out with his friends now. My mother will be meeting up with her mother soon to catch up, so maybe I could get her to mention something! I really don't know

ps: I'm quite sure she is ignoring me. If I had seemingly disappeared off the face of the planet because her bf was deleting messages she would contact me. She is actively choosing to ignore me and I have no idea why.
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