Got rejected a before. Still feeling hopeless.

I'm a girl in first year of university and I posted a thread two months ago about a guy rejecting me. I told him I liked him on whatsapp and he didn't respond and just cut all contact with me. He blocked me on whatsapp, phone and facebook. I still feel worthless and upset about it and keep getting thoughts about wanting to self harm, but I don't end up doing it. I haven't been attending much since it happened and I've just stayed in my room most of the time feeling miserable. I don't have many friends in university too and I just feel like wanting to drop out and move somewhere far away to start fresh.

Reply 1

SceneKid17

3

Awwww feel free to pm me if you wanna talk? im so sorry to hear this :frown:

xxxxx

Reply 2

claireestelle

22

Have you considered joining auni society? Would get you out of the house and could even help you meet someone

Reply 3

Zarek

21

Sorry to hear this. Speak to your friends and get their help to get things in proportion. And maybe your GP too about the self harm inclination. You've know idea how many blow outs I've suffered and I have a great relationship and am very happy.

Reply 4

username1863805

12

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a girl in first year of university and I posted a thread two months ago about a guy rejecting me. I told him I liked him on whatsapp and he didn't respond and just cut all contact with me. He blocked me on whatsapp, phone and facebook. I still feel worthless and upset about it and keep getting thoughts about wanting to self harm, but I don't end up doing it. I haven't been attending much since it happened and I've just stayed in my room most of the time feeling miserable. I don't have many friends in university too and I just feel like wanting to drop out and move somewhere far away to start fresh.

Gosh, sorry to hear you've had such a rough time. Go to your GP the moment you feel overwhelmed to the point of having intrusive, self-harming thoughts. That is often just the start so don't allow it to escalate into something more serious that will be harder to beat.

As for this guy, you've dodged a bullet big time and I can only congratulate you for being free of such a jerk. Maybe it's guys that age but if he had been a real man, he would have faced an uncomfortable, awkward situation with some degree of maturity and treated you with the respect you deserve. He could have just let you know that your feelings aren't reciprocated instead of cutting all contact and running away like a scared little boy. He clearly does not deserve anymore of your time or affection so it's important that you learn to find a way to move on. Not every guy is an immature, selfish, inconsiderate prick. He sounds like a child and I personally would find his behaviour off-putting. Don't waste anymore of yourself on him.

Screw friends and all that, you can do this on your own if you really want to. It always helps to feel supported by friends or family but work with what you've got. Go to your GP and get yourself sorted with counselling/therapy. No one is immune to depression. I've known world-renowned tutors and lecturers who have fallen victim to such conditions. Balance out your life - fill it with positive, rewarding activities and hobbies you enjoy. It sounds corny but it does work. You'll meet more people that way too. You can always interrupt your studies for a year or whatever - just so you don't end up failing due to your current mental state. Pace yourself - make sure you're able to find a balance between the stress of everyday life and relaxing activities. Get better and try again. Pace yourself, you'll get there. Wish you all the best. x

Reply 5

Protégé

11

It's just one guy, life goes on. With the way he cut all contact with you he probably wasn't worth it anyway. Don't self harm, it helps nothing in your situation. Good luck.

Reply 6

alan smith

1

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a girl in first year of university and I posted a thread two months ago about a guy rejecting me. I told him I liked him on whatsapp and he didn't respond and just cut all contact with me. He blocked me on whatsapp, phone and facebook. I still feel worthless and upset about it and keep getting thoughts about wanting to self harm, but I don't end up doing it. I haven't been attending much since it happened and I've just stayed in my room most of the time feeling miserable. I don't have many friends in university too and I just feel like wanting to drop out and move somewhere far away to start fresh.

I am experiencing the same, rubbish uni with no social life, just broke up with a long distant partner and because of the social culture, i hardly have many people to talk to but the times i do, i was surprised how much it helped.. so feel free to pm me if you want, even speak on whatsapp if you wish :smile:

we could both be doing each other a favour haha

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by godivaontherocks

Gosh, sorry to hear you've had such a rough time. Go to your GP the moment you feel overwhelmed to the point of having intrusive, self-harming thoughts. That is often just the start so don't allow it to escalate into something more serious that will be harder to beat.

As for this guy, you've dodged a bullet big time and I can only congratulate you for being free of such a jerk. Maybe it's guys that age but if he had been a real man, he would have faced an uncomfortable, awkward situation with some degree of maturity and treated you with the respect you deserve. He could have just let you know that your feelings aren't reciprocated instead of cutting all contact and running away like a scared little boy. He clearly does not deserve anymore of your time or affection so it's important that you learn to find a way to move on. Not every guy is an immature, selfish, inconsiderate prick. He sounds like a child and I personally would find his behaviour off-putting. Don't waste anymore of yourself on him.

Screw friends and all that, you can do this on your own if you really want to. It always helps to feel supported by friends or family but work with what you've got. Go to your GP and get yourself sorted with counselling/therapy. No one is immune to depression. I've known world-renowned tutors and lecturers who have fallen victim to such conditions. Balance out your life - fill it with positive, rewarding activities and hobbies you enjoy. It sounds corny but it does work. You'll meet more people that way too. You can always interrupt your studies for a year or whatever - just so you don't end up failing due to your current mental state. Pace yourself - make sure you're able to find a balance between the stress of everyday life and relaxing activities. Get better and try again. Pace yourself, you'll get there. Wish you all the best. x

I've not registered with a GP yet but I will do soon and I'll see what they say about this.
A lot of people are telling me that he wasn't worth it but it doesn't change the way I feel. That's why I feel like dropping out of uni and starting fresh somewhere else but I know it's not wise to do as I'm where I wanted to be.
I might try to start some new activities and hobbies and see if it helps. Thanks for advising.

Reply 8

Lyrical Prodigy

19

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a girl in first year of university and I posted a thread two months ago about a guy rejecting me. I told him I liked him on whatsapp and he didn't respond and just cut all contact with me. He blocked me on whatsapp, phone and facebook. I still feel worthless and upset about it and keep getting thoughts about wanting to self harm, but I don't end up doing it. I haven't been attending much since it happened and I've just stayed in my room most of the time feeling miserable. I don't have many friends in university too and I just feel like wanting to drop out and move somewhere far away to start fresh.

Firstly, I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling like this. Getting rejected sometimes can be brutal and will often knock confidence significantly, evident with you. Please do not let it get to you the way it has already, you just need to realise that life is going to do this to you, it happens to a lot of people my lovely. It's all part of the experiences that we have to endure.

The guy wasn't very nice in cutting you off like that but to be honest it just shows his true colours. He didn't really deserve you if that's how he goes round treating people. I've gone through lots of rubbish myself and I know how it feels. I don't think you should go to your GP about this, there won't be anything new they'd say to you. Talk to your university pastoral officer or please try to confide in a friend or family member. I know it's easier said than done, but your happiness isn't worth sacrificing for some guy.

Feel free to pm me anytime, if you want to talk stuff out. :h:

Reply 9

username1863805

12

Original post by Anonymous

I've not registered with a GP yet but I will do soon and I'll see what they say about this.
A lot of people are telling me that he wasn't worth it but it doesn't change the way I feel. That's why I feel like dropping out of uni and starting fresh somewhere else but I know it's not wise to do as I'm where I wanted to be.
I might try to start some new activities and hobbies and see if it helps. Thanks for advising.

The first step is usually to prescribe you anti-anxiety medication to help take the edge off. The might offer you antidepressants combined with a form of therapy such as CBT or counselling. I've been through the steps so it usually goes something like this. Antidepressants come with side-effects and although are prescribed as a short-term solution (only therapy will help to completely eradicate the problem) most don't start to work for about 3 weeks. And they can actually mess you up even more and have very unpleasant side-effects.

I think it's important for you to remember that nothing lasts forever. This includes emotional states. I'm not suggesting you get over this guy right away - these things can take weeks, months, years... there's no right or wrong time. You have to be patient with yourself. Try to make an effort to only surround yourself with positive thoughts/people/places and avoid toxic people/environments (except maybe the case of uni)

Dropping out of uni is not the solution, as you've agreed. Uni doesn't last forever. It's typically only 3-4 years. It ends like everything else. This guy is not going to be there forever. And you should never go into university expecting that this will be the very best experience of your life. Just as no one should go into a relationship expecting to be completely fulfilled as a person, uni is only one aspect of your life. And if it isn't, it ought to be. If you have a life outside of uni, you'll feel less depressed when things at uni don't work out or go to crap.

I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure you will be as long as you remain proactiv (go out and make things happen, take control of your life and emotional wellbeing - e.g. therapy - and don't allow situations/people to get the very best of you unless they deserve it). Pace yourself even with your emotions. All the best. x

Got rejected a before. Still feeling hopeless.

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