Am I Bad Person?
My urges and dreams go against everything I've been taught to follow. I'm a Muslim living in Britain and I originate from Pakistan. I am a Muslim because I have been brought up that way by my family the teachings have made me the person I am today and I am thankful for that. However as I am experiencing life more am I beginning to see my true colours. I am no longer this heavily religious 15 year old Muslim, yet a evolving teenage boy looking for the right answers.
I don't know where I belong the rules of society have taken me away from this religion I was once so engulfed in, but I feel like it was for the best. I was raised to not drink, do drugs or have sex before marriage I have not done any of these things but by the rules of society I see myself as an outsider because of this. But I want to try I want to experience these things I don't want to feel like an outsider to my peers and the people are around me. And since I live in Britain its become rather the 'norm' to drink try drugs and sex before marriage. But do these urges, to try, make me a bad person? I've come so close before but i would think of my family and how it would hurt them if they found out. I know for certain this experience is shared with many young Muslims around the world. But what do I do. I feel I am stuck between my urges and dreams and my family and religion I now am having doubts on.
I have acted upon my urges before I was in a relationship with a girl for year yet the thoughts came flooding back that what I was doing was wrong. Yet I was following the rules of society this was considered normal to the people around me but not at home. So I have experienced and I liked it for a majority of the time yet it still had to come to an end. Is what I am feeling wrong? Is it shared?
Any helpful insight would be greatly appreciate
I don't know where I belong the rules of society have taken me away from this religion I was once so engulfed in, but I feel like it was for the best. I was raised to not drink, do drugs or have sex before marriage I have not done any of these things but by the rules of society I see myself as an outsider because of this. But I want to try I want to experience these things I don't want to feel like an outsider to my peers and the people are around me. And since I live in Britain its become rather the 'norm' to drink try drugs and sex before marriage. But do these urges, to try, make me a bad person? I've come so close before but i would think of my family and how it would hurt them if they found out. I know for certain this experience is shared with many young Muslims around the world. But what do I do. I feel I am stuck between my urges and dreams and my family and religion I now am having doubts on.
I have acted upon my urges before I was in a relationship with a girl for year yet the thoughts came flooding back that what I was doing was wrong. Yet I was following the rules of society this was considered normal to the people around me but not at home. So I have experienced and I liked it for a majority of the time yet it still had to come to an end. Is what I am feeling wrong? Is it shared?
Any helpful insight would be greatly appreciate
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Of course they don't. You're human, you've just been conditioned to believe natural urges are wrong.
if you want to abstain you'll have to work hard. If your heart isn't in your religion that's ok too. Being a good person is about your actions towards others. I'm not telling you your religion is wrong. Im just telling you these urges are completely natural.
if you want to abstain you'll have to work hard. If your heart isn't in your religion that's ok too. Being a good person is about your actions towards others. I'm not telling you your religion is wrong. Im just telling you these urges are completely natural.
Britain is degenerate, don't become like us
Original post by I'm a Bad Boy
Britain is degenerate, don't become like us
b
Bad boy is right. We're a country of scum, who derive pleasure from simple matters.
You're not a bad person but don't try things that could harm you.
You're right religion isn't in my heart but my family is but I want to experience these things just to see how the other half live I want to try but I don't want to hurt my family in the process
Original post by hassan_dar
My urges and dreams go against everything I've been taught to follow. I'm a Muslim living in Britain and I originate from Pakistan. I am a Muslim because I have been brought up that way by my family the teachings have made me the person I am today and I am thankful for that. However as I am experiencing life more am I beginning to see my true colours. I am no longer this heavily religious 15 year old Muslim, yet a evolving teenage boy looking for the right answers.
I don't know where I belong the rules of society have taken me away from this religion I was once so engulfed in, but I feel like it was for the best. I was raised to not drink, do drugs or have sex before marriage I have not done any of these things but by the rules of society I see myself as an outsider because of this. But I want to try I want to experience these things I don't want to feel like an outsider to my peers and the people are around me. And since I live in Britain its become rather the 'norm' to drink try drugs and sex before marriage. But do these urges, to try, make me a bad person? I've come so close before but i would think of my family and how it would hurt them if they found out. I know for certain this experience is shared with many young Muslims around the world. But what do I do. I feel I am stuck between my urges and dreams and my family and religion I now am having doubts on.
I have acted upon my urges before I was in a relationship with a girl for year yet the thoughts came flooding back that what I was doing was wrong. Yet I was following the rules of society this was considered normal to the people around me but not at home. So I have experienced and I liked it for a majority of the time yet it still had to come to an end. Is what I am feeling wrong? Is it shared?
Any helpful insight would be greatly appreciate
I don't know where I belong the rules of society have taken me away from this religion I was once so engulfed in, but I feel like it was for the best. I was raised to not drink, do drugs or have sex before marriage I have not done any of these things but by the rules of society I see myself as an outsider because of this. But I want to try I want to experience these things I don't want to feel like an outsider to my peers and the people are around me. And since I live in Britain its become rather the 'norm' to drink try drugs and sex before marriage. But do these urges, to try, make me a bad person? I've come so close before but i would think of my family and how it would hurt them if they found out. I know for certain this experience is shared with many young Muslims around the world. But what do I do. I feel I am stuck between my urges and dreams and my family and religion I now am having doubts on.
I have acted upon my urges before I was in a relationship with a girl for year yet the thoughts came flooding back that what I was doing was wrong. Yet I was following the rules of society this was considered normal to the people around me but not at home. So I have experienced and I liked it for a majority of the time yet it still had to come to an end. Is what I am feeling wrong? Is it shared?
Any helpful insight would be greatly appreciate
Your not bad and not wrong to feel this way but your parents should understand how you feel considering your in Britain but i get how you feel because i want to do that stufff minus the drugs and drinking but yeah i get you. I have a boyfriend right now and i want him more than anything but speak with other muslims and see what they say.
Original post by hassan_dar
You're right religion isn't in my heart but my family is but I want to experience these things just to see how the other half live I want to try but I don't want to hurt my family in the process
Don't do it, Allah knows best
Original post by AvaAdore
...don't tell them then? :/
You disgust me
Original post by quentinhamilton
You're not a bad person but don't try things that could harm you.
Which health are we talking about? If we go by religious books, pretty much anything can harm your spiritual health. Yes, doing drugs will damage your kidneys, excessively drinking alcohol will damage your liver and having sex can give you various diseases (minute risk though), but if you are sensible with drinking and don't sleep around then you are unlikely to seee any adverse effects from either.
Original post by I'm a Bad Boy
You disgust me
why?just because he or she said that?
Original post by an_atheist
Which health are we talking about? If we go by religious books, pretty much anything can harm your spiritual health. Yes, doing drugs will damage your kidneys, excessively drinking alcohol will damage your liver and having sex can give you various diseases (minute risk though), but if you are sensible with drinking and don't sleep around then you are unlikely to seee any adverse effects from either.
Original post by RBalboa
why?just because he or she said that?
encouraging not just degeneracy in an impressionable teenager but also to be dishonest to his parents, shameful
Original post by I'm a Bad Boy
encouraging not just degeneracy in an impressionable teenager but also to be dishonest to his parents, shameful
Well he can do what he wants in life its his choice
Original post by RBalboa
Well he can do what he wants in life its his choice
If you want to be a selfish narcissist interested only in personal pleasure, sure
Read the Quran to ease your sinful temptation. Do not go against the word of Allah, for you will be punished heavily.
Also it sounds like you have a case of hanging around with the wrong group of friends. Urges to take drugs? Urges to drink? Seriously? I've never had such a problem. If it's the people you're hanging out with then stop. Nothing good will come out of it but regret
Also it sounds like you have a case of hanging around with the wrong group of friends. Urges to take drugs? Urges to drink? Seriously? I've never had such a problem. If it's the people you're hanging out with then stop. Nothing good will come out of it but regret
Original post by UM02
Read the Quran to ease your sinful temptation. Do not go against the word of Allah, for you will be punished heavily.
Also it sounds like you have a case of hanging around with the wrong group of friends. Urges to take drugs? Urges to drink? Seriously? I've never had such a problem. If it's the people you're hanging out with then stop. Nothing good will come out of it but regret
Also it sounds like you have a case of hanging around with the wrong group of friends. Urges to take drugs? Urges to drink? Seriously? I've never had such a problem. If it's the people you're hanging out with then stop. Nothing good will come out of it but regret
I agree that drugs and drinking implies wrong group of friends. But the point of religions is not fear of punishment,I'm sorry.
If you have urges, it is because you are human and that is totally normal! However it doesn't mean you have to act on them if your religion is more important to you. But if you want to resist from these urges it is important that you are doing it for yourself and not others. It seems to me that you are keeping these guidelines out of other peoples expectations for you rather than out of a personal choice. For example, you think a lot about what your family would think. You need to do think more about personal benefits/drawbacks of your decisions, eg how does this affect your relationship with Allah? Would you be upset if you had done something that doesn't please your God? Does it even matter to you what Allah thinks?
Remember as well that you are not the only virgin/non-drinker that exists, and there are probably a lot more around than you realise, but everyone keeps quiet about being a virgin and not drinking so no one knows who they are. I am for example a Christian and at 20 I am still a virgin and have never been drunk. I would chat to your other Muslim friends (or "religious" friends in general) because they may be going through the same problem.
But this is a decision only you can make-only you know whether personal urges are more or less important than your religion.
Remember as well that you are not the only virgin/non-drinker that exists, and there are probably a lot more around than you realise, but everyone keeps quiet about being a virgin and not drinking so no one knows who they are. I am for example a Christian and at 20 I am still a virgin and have never been drunk. I would chat to your other Muslim friends (or "religious" friends in general) because they may be going through the same problem.
But this is a decision only you can make-only you know whether personal urges are more or less important than your religion.
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