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Ex initiates contact with me and answers my texts too...

I hear a lot about dumpees initiating contact with the person who dumped them ... but in my case it's my ex who contacted me first.

She seems happy and everything, but obviously I can't be certain as it's through text.

She tells me of how busy she's been lately - something I've known since I met her. She overworks.

Ultimately I do want her back, but I want things to proceed, if they will, naturally and comfortably ... I don't want us to rush.


We've had one to-and-throw of messages over the last week. She "totally understood" that I sent my text a week after she sent her first ... which was nice, and the rest of the text was definitely happy.


At the moment I'm just glad we're on good terms I guess.

What to do?

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Original post by VotreAltesse
I hear a lot about dumpees initiating contact with the person who dumped them ... but in my case it's my ex who contacted me first.

She seems happy and everything, but obviously I can't be certain as it's through text.

She tells me of how busy she's been lately - something I've known since I met her. She overworks.

Ultimately I do want her back, but I want things to proceed, if they will, naturally and comfortably ... I don't want us to rush.


We've had one to-and-throw of messages over the last week. She "totally understood" that I sent my text a week after she sent her first ... which was nice, and the rest of the text was definitely happy.


At the moment I'm just glad we're on good terms I guess.

What to do?


If you want things to proceed naturally and comfortably as you say, carry on as you are? Maybe arrange to meet as friends eventually and see what happens from there.



Edit: Post 1000 :excited:
...only took me 76 months :K:
(edited 8 years ago)
Meet up as friends for a coffee/lunch out or something nice, just don't rush into things.
Original post by thecatwithnohat
Meet up as friends for a coffee/lunch out or something nice, just don't rush into things.


Original post by Suzanne123
If you want things to proceed naturally and comfortably as you say, carry on as you are? Maybe arrange to meet as friends eventually and see what happens from there.



Edit: Post 1000 :excited:
...only took me 76 months :K:



Are these good signs that she's missing me and/or regretting the break up though?
Reply 4
Avatar for samba
samba
6
Original post by Suzanne123
If you want things to proceed naturally and comfortably as you say, carry on as you are? Maybe arrange to meet as friends eventually and see what happens from there.



Original post by thecatwithnohat
Meet up as friends for a coffee/lunch out or something nice, just don't rush into things.


Don't get why ex's contacting you means they want you again!

Original post by Suzanne123

Edit: Post 1000 :excited:
...only took me 76 months :K:


Post in the football forum and you'll be far more prolific. More intelligent discussion, and way better mods :smile: We have a misc thread!
Original post by VotreAltesse
Are these good signs that she's missing me and/or regretting the break up though?


It seems to me that she seems to miss speaking to you (would make a lot of sense if you both texted eachother constantly during your relationship) Don't take my word for it, though.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by samba
Don't get why ex's contacting you means they want you again!


OP clearly seems to still feel a little something for his ex, so it's better to go out and find out than sit back and "what if" everything. :rolleyes:
Original post by thecatwithnohat
It seems to me that she seems to miss speaking to you (would make a lot of sense if you both texted eachother constantly during your relationship) Don't take my word for it, though.




My ex ain't seeing no one.



She might miss it ... but I told her I didn't want to be friends with her.

She told me she wouldn't contact me "in a while" but she ended up initiating contact after 2 weeks.
Original post by VotreAltesse
My ex ain't seeing no one.



She might miss it ... but I told her I didn't want to be friends with her.

She told me she wouldn't contact me "in a while" but she ended up initiating contact after 2 weeks.


Then she is missing you, god dammit. And she's using her "busy schedule" as an excuse to message you :fan:
Original post by thecatwithnohat
Then she is missing you, god dammit. And she's using her "busy schedule" as an excuse to message you :fan:



Why are you being rude?
Original post by VotreAltesse
Why are you being rude?


I am not? :laugh: please do point out anything I have said that must have offended you.
Original post by VotreAltesse
Are these good signs that she's missing me and/or regretting the break up though?


Perhaps. The only way you will know for certain is to ask her?
Original post by Suzanne123
Perhaps. The only way you will know for certain is to ask her?



Yeah, I understand that the only truth I'll get of this is from her.


I think I'll keep being friendly to her and then at some point I'll ask her out for coffee or something.
Original post by VotreAltesse
Yeah, I understand that the only truth I'll get of this is from her.


I think I'll keep being friendly to her and then at some point I'll ask her out for coffee or something.


Yea, just see how it goes :smile:
Original post by Suzanne123
Yea, just see how it goes :smile:


But as far as you can see ... is this a good sign that she texted me after 2 weeks no contact and actually seems happy to text me?
Original post by VotreAltesse
But as far as you can see ... is this a good sign that she texted me after 2 weeks no contact and actually seems happy to text me?


I guess so. Sometimes it can be hard to see how someone really feels/get their emotions through texting, but I guess this means she wants to be friends, or at least on friendly terms, which could go further if you both wanted.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Suzanne123
I guess so. Sometimes it can be hard to see how someone really feels/get their emotions through texting, but I guess this means she wants to be friends, or at least on friendly terms, which could go further if you both wanted.


I told her God knows how many times that I didn't want to be friends with her. She definitely knows that.

I told her that if she changes her mind that she knows how to find me.
Original post by VotreAltesse
I told her God knows how many times that I didn't want to be friends with her. She definitely knows that.

I told her that if she changes her mind that she knows how to find me.


But maybe she wants to just be friends with you. This isn't all about what you want. She probably initiated contact because people are close in a relationship and talk with each other and she missed having you around, she misses the FRIEND part of being your girlfriend. Yes you may have told her you don't want to be friends with her, but maybe she still wants to be your friend, and if you're texting back like normal she's taking that as you being a friend/friendly with her.
Original post by VotreAltesse
Are these good signs that she's missing me and/or regretting the break up though?


be careful man, she may miss the relationship (so might you) but that doesnt mean the reasons you guys broke up still dont exsist.

My advice, leave it move on. you broke up once if you get back together it will probably hapen again. best of luck.
Reply 19
Avatar for loloway
loloway
9
She is an ex for a reason. If I were you, I would ignore her and move on with your life. Unless you want to be the guy who answer her calls at the click of a finger? It is so easy to meet new people and make friends; why be friends with an ex?

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