Please correct my sentences

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Michael P
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#1
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Being a non-native speaker of English, I do struggle with English sometimes. Please provide me with your help!

Please correct these three sentences. Thank you.

Though we all are somewhat blind to Edgar’s deceit, I tell you now with great joy that this man standing beside me is not, for it turns out that like me, he too is wise, and over the weeks and months that time has consumed, it was our conjoined wisdom that had us decipher the cunningness of Edgar's plans to have this senate, the effigy of your father, and this very carpet on which we stand dissolved into the ensuing abyss, that we be consumed by the evil praxis of that whose name Edgar knows, yet with his head shackled in this manacle and death in his third eye, still he has no intention of sharing it with his majesty.

We all have our differences, young Thor, both in body and mind, but above all of these differences, you have proven yourself to be a worthy knight, and I certainly would not be mistaken in my judgement of you, were I to say that the fate the Gods have woven for you will have you sitting atop this very throne my decaying body has sat on since I so courageously fought alongside your father in the battle of Loth.

After having reminded ourselves of the time that had Mary supplant Edward as being the interlocutor of our seminar, both Elysnai and I saw her as having a disposition replete with such ripe maturity; the likes of which can be found only in the most versed of our coterie here in Maldur.

Thank you.
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Michael P
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This sentence is over 150 words in length. Where would YOU place the full stop?

Your speaking about it does annoy me so greatly, young Thor. In no way should you go about your duty of king as baring the faults of your father and his ad hoc martyrdom. Please, come and sit with me, that we may frolic in the evangelicalism of this candelabra and bathe in its dying evanescence, as all that is made by man does decay, even ourselves in time, but do not concern yourself with the matters of a priest, for my visions keep telling me that the Gods had your mother conceive you with the intention of your becoming the most exalted warrior ever to have yourself known by not only this kingdom, but also of the unknown kingdoms; those which I, nor any man I have met, have seen for ourselves; those kingdoms your mother lamented to you in song when you were all but half the size you are now both in your physical self and your understanding of that which is required of you, as not only a warrior, but also as my son.

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Profesh
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Please, come and sit with me, that we may frolic in the evangelicalism of this candelabra and bathe in its dying evanescence, as all that is made by man does decay, even ourselves in time, but do not concern yourself with the matters of a priest, for my visions keep telling me that the Gods had your mother conceive you with the intention of your becoming the most exalted warrior ever to have yourself known by not only this kingdom, but also of the unknown kingdoms; those which I, nor any man I have met, have seen for ourselves; those kingdoms your mother lamented to you in song when you were all but half the size you are now both in your physical self and your understanding of that which is required of you, as not only a warrior, but also as my son.
Sorry, I'm not fluent in ebonics.
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Michael P
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(Original post by Profesh)
Sorry, I'm not fluent in ebonics.
Hello. How would YOU write this sentence? Please, nothing too wordy, as the words I have used in these sentences should serve as a reminder of the limit at which my ability lies.
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Michael P
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(Original post by Profesh)
Sorry, I'm not fluent in ebonics.
Also, here I have a poem that I would like you to improve/correct. I do not think of myself as being particularly attracted to the gravitas of poetry, but unfortunately for my sake, this one is to be read by someone who is. Poetry is probably more your thing, so I know you will probably know how to sort this out. I am thankful to my teacher that this poem is the only one that I shall have to write.

The usurper comes for all to see,
Bearing sword in hand to fight me,
It speaks with a leaded tongue,
And appears to be all but young,
Do tell me, monster, trickster, beast,
Is it I who shall be your feast?
The candles dim ever more,
Tell me, who are you?
For I cannot see you through this hue,
Could it be my shadow too?


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