Why are so many people like this in regards to exes?

Whenever someone is asking if there are "signs" that their ex is regretting the break up or is reaching out... someone always says "If an ex wants you back they'll tell you they're sorry for breaking up, want to get back together and wants you to **** their brains out"?

Reply 1

Mequa

13

They sound naive to me. That fails to factor in the reasons the break-up occurred in the first place.

Depending on the circumstances:

- Saying sorry is not sufficient if any pattern of unreasonable behaviour on their part which led to the break-up is going to repeat. For example, if they will dump the person again on whim.

- Wanting to get back together is not sufficient, if they aren't going to improve any behaviour of theirs which led to the break-up.

- Wanting sex is not sufficient. What an icky reason for wanting someone back after callously ditching them.

- Perhaps they just want a consolation prize after not finding anyone "better". That is not a good reason for taking them back.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Mequa

They sound naive to me. That fails to factor in the reasons the break-up occurred in the first place.

Depending on the circumstances:

- Saying sorry is not sufficient if any pattern of unreasonable behaviour on their part which led to the break-up is going to repeat. For example, if they will dump the person again on whim.

- Wanting to get back together is not sufficient, if they aren't going to improve any behaviour of theirs which led to the break-up.

- Wanting sex is not sufficient. What an icky reason for wanting someone back after callously ditching them.

- Perhaps they just want a consolation prize after not finding anyone "better". That is not a good reason for taking them back.

Thanks for the reply. It just seems like the grand majority of Relationship Forums on the internet live by the code that "If an ex wants you back she will tell you" as in, you ignore her (No Contact) for 30 days and then magically they'll contact you and say they want you back.

By my experience, ignoring them in this bull**** 30 day NC period is only going to make them think you don't care anymore and have moved on. Going against everything if you do want them back.

In my experience also ... if an ex is beginning to regret it, she'll open the lines of communication ... so if she doesn't contact you after 30 days, she doesn't want you.

I don't know how much you would agree with all this.

Reply 3

Mequa

13

If I can offer any advice on relationships, it would be to fight the two-front war:

- Choose partners who have the traits of a good partner. Be discerning.
- Develop the traits yourself in your own character which make you a good partner.

Anyone lacking in self-respect forgets the first one.
Narcissists forget the last one. (This seems far more common nowadays.)

Both lose out in the long run.

Self-respect and mutual respect. See them as instruments to your own personal happiness. It's not rocket science.

Why are so many people like this in regards to exes?

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