Little dilema..

21

I recieved a phone call from my high school headmaster (1st year of Uni now), saying that he got a letter from High Commission of Bangladesh (education section), that i had been nominated for 'outstanding achievements' so me, parents and headmaster have been invited to this event where i'll receive a crest award and lunch/mingle with the people etc..
So all good so far, parents really happy etc but :redface:

The letter has my name wrong :p:

(sp) and says i have 4 A's at A level, but i got 3 A's and a B... so i was thinking i should email/ring and tell them of this mistake and whatnot (seems the morale thing to do).
But my dad says its their mistake and i should just go get it because i did really good anyway etc (meh lots of people get 4A's so dont see why its such a big deal... suppose not many Bangladeshis do that well?)
So i've got my dad saying ignore it and just go, and my sisters + mum always side with him, but personally i think its really wrong to not saying anything and correcting their mistake :redface:

I think my dad is really proud and wants to go to this event (he's going to shorten his visit to Bangladesh just so he can go to this) so i'd feel really bad if they were like 'oh sorry about that, we'll just post a certificate, no need to come' :eek:

so yea...

Reply 1

NFI

14

Personally I'd tell the truth and correct the errors. Who cares what your parents think? Do what's right, they'll respect you more for it deep down.

Reply 2

becky.fm

18

Will they cancel the invite if they realise do you think? Even so, i would tell them, otherwise unfortunately it's just dishonesty :frown:

Reply 3

andy_cole2

14

i can't believe they would be twatish enough to take away ur invite if they had done all taht stuff. and honestly i don't know your name but it could just be that there are different ways of spelling it a spell checker changed it, is your name popular? seriously i would doubt they had got it wrong anyway so you could phone them up and tell them they'd probs, to save hassle, say it was you even if it wasn't. And even if its not you they would hardly turn you a way. I'd call in secret :p:

Reply 4

ciara

13

I'd definitely give them a ring and tell them the mistake. It could be a case of mistaken identity (unlikely I know), in which case you're depriving the person who's meant to be getting an award of it. Even if their record is just wrong, I doubt they'll take away your invite now, and will respect your honesty - the truth may come out at some point and you'll look bad if you didn't say anything. Plus, you want your name spelt correctly on your certificate!!

Reply 5

Amberoo

Must be for you because otherwise your head teacher woulden't of rung you and would of had doubts.

Reply 6

Wangers

16

I think you should tell them. They will respect you all the more for it, and they will most probably honnor the invite.

Reply 7

Zerforax

OP

21

Oh, its def me :p:

cos i was the only Bangladeshi student in my school :rolleyes:

and my headmaster rang me specifically :p:

NFI

Personally I'd tell the truth and correct the errors. Who cares what your parents think? Do what's right, they'll respect you more for it deep down.

Err i care a big deal about what my parents think :p:

we're very close and they worked just as hard to send me to that school as i had to work to get the grades... if i wasnt bothered what they think, i wouldnt have posted and just corrected :p:

Yea IMO, they wouldnt cancel anything cos i still did alright :p:

but my dad seems to really have his heart set on going and i'd hate for them to cancel it :p:

Reply 8

burningwings

1

theyd be really embarassed if they went along, and something was said in public, to the affect of you having "lied" by omission... id call them in secret..one grade difference isnt gonna stop them inviting you to it, but will stop needing any embarassing explainations when there

Reply 9

Zerforax

OP

21

yea!! thats exactly my points! my dad never listens once he has his mind set :rolleyes:

I think ill just email my headteacher to clarify it... surely if they contacts the school, they gave the grades? :confused:

Reply 10

Phantom Phoenix

13

burningwings

theyd be really embarassed if they went along, and something was said in public, to the affect of you having "lied" by omission... id call them in secret..one grade difference isnt gonna stop them inviting you to it, but will stop needing any embarassing explainations when there

You obviously did really well in any case and you deserve to feel proud of yourself at the event - better to call them up and tell them. That way, when you go (and I can't imagine they wouldn't let you as your grades are still very very impressive!) you can be busy emanating smug pride rather than fretting that you'll get caught out. :smile:

Reply 11

Zerforax

OP

21

Phantom Phoenix

You obviously did really well in any case and you deserve to feel proud of yourself at the event - better to call them up and tell them. That way, when you go (and I can't imagine they wouldn't let you as your grades are still very very impressive!) you can be busy emanating smug pride rather than fretting that you'll get caught out. :smile:

Lol thats the main thing im worried about :p:

but now my dad's making a point to keep telling me to email to confirm i can go but conviently forgetting to say anything about the grades issue :rolleyes:

like im going to forget that :redface:

I'd hate to have to go behind his back and send an email about it though :frown:

Reply 12

Phantom Phoenix

13

sarforaz

Lol thats the main thing im worried about :p:

but now my dad's making a point to keep telling me to email to confirm i can go but conviently forgetting to say anything about the grades issue :rolleyes:

like im going to forget that :redface:

I'd hate to have to go behind his back and send an email about it though :frown:

That's tricky...okay, look. You're obviously very close to your parents and respect how they feel, and I can only assume that goes both ways because a good relationship with your parents does need to be based on two-way care/respect/communication. You're very lucky, by the way, my parents are being atrocious and have been since I was a kid *sigh* but I'm bitching about that in another thread, so I won't bore you here.

At any rate, I'd explain to your dad that the idea of it coming up in public is really worrying you, and hopefully he'll respect your concerns and you can come to the decision together, in a way that hopefully keeps you both happy. I doubt he'd want to subject you to unnecessary stress and he'll want to help you - he might even have a better idea of how to check up with the event organisers.

How would you feel about that? :smile:

Reply 13

Bluefairy

11

sarforaz

I recieved a phone call from my high school headmaster (1st year of Uni now), saying that he got a letter from High Commission of Bangladesh (education section), that i had been nominated for 'outstanding achievements' so me, parents and headmaster have been invited to this event where i'll receive a crest award and lunch/mingle with the people etc..
So all good so far, parents really happy etc but :redface:

The letter has my name wrong :p:

(sp) and says i have 4 A's at A level, but i got 3 A's and a B... so i was thinking i should email/ring and tell them of this mistake and whatnot (seems the morale thing to do).
But my dad says its their mistake and i should just go get it because i did really good anyway etc (meh lots of people get 4A's so dont see why its such a big deal... suppose not many Bangladeshis do that well?)
So i've got my dad saying ignore it and just go, and my sisters + mum always side with him, but personally i think its really wrong to not saying anything and correcting their mistake :redface:

I think my dad is really proud and wants to go to this event (he's going to shorten his visit to Bangladesh just so he can go to this) so i'd feel really bad if they were like 'oh sorry about that, we'll just post a certificate, no need to come' :eek:

so yea...

hey i got the same thing, and i had it for 3A's so i think you'll still get it.

Reply 14

Zerforax

OP

21

.S.O.S.

hey i got the same thing, and i had it for 3A's so i think you'll still get it.

your bangladeshi too? /hi5 :p:

so did you get to go to the event? or going this year? and if went before, what was it like? :eek:

Reply 15

Bluefairy

11

sarforaz

your bangladeshi too? /hi5 :p:

so did you get to go to the event? or going this year? and if went before, what was it like? :eek:

no i havn't been going next year lool. 13.01.07

Reply 16

Zerforax

OP

21

err realised my post didnt make any sense... but yours doesnt so much either :p:

sooo your going on the 13.01.07 to this event to get an award too and you got 3 A's? :eek:

does that mean i'd see you there?

Reply 17

Rez

That’s a great honour. Congratulations.

Being a Bangladeshi myself, I can understand why it is little difficult for you to talk about it further with your family when they said it’s a mistake made by the High Commission.

You have two options here. Both are right from different perspectives. Personally, I would clarify it with them before I go there. Even though I love my parents and I acknowledge the sacrifices they made, I would not be able to compromise my principles with my sentiments. I would try to make them understand how I feel about it and if it does not work out, I would still call them up or send an email. But that’s just me.

In the end, it’s you who have to take the decision, so go for the one that does not/will not make you uncomfortable.

Reply 18

Zerforax

OP

21

I figure ill email them ill go for now just to shut my dad up... he keeps asking me like 3 times a day if i've sent the email yet (sent one saying i can go last night like 6pm and he's asking me if i've had a reply yet :rolleyes:

)
I mean i can contact them about the error in a bit :p:

, also wanna see if S.O.S is going :smile:

aaaaaand ill give my uncle a ring too :smile:

he's pretty sensible :biggrin:

Just to show his levels of rediculousness!
The email i sent;

Dear sir,
I have recieved the letter and forwarded fax, thank you. Me and my parents are happy to attend on the 13th January and hope to see you there too. Merry xmas for tomorrow.