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Am I being stupid for staying?

So I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now, and very early on into our relationship he was texting other girls, which we got over it wasn't a huge issue. But then 6 months ago, I found out he had been in contact with two girls and been messaging them, speaking to them about all sorts and erm, skyping (you get what I mean, hopefully!). Even though it never got to physical cheating, it still devastated me because this was worse to me; he had lead these girls on for months and lied to me.

I stayed with him and it took a while to get back to 'normal' and not cry all the time but I got over it, or so I thought. But I find myself sitting and thinking about it? Wondering if its happening again. I dont want to become one of those pyscho girlfriends who check phones and facebook but I also couldnt imagine not being with him.
Has anyone got any advice or experiences like this?
Please be honest, brutally if needs be.
Thanks.

Reply 1

shawn_o1

"Brutally" you should have left as soon as you saw he was cheating. He's a player and you lost the game.

Reply 2

georgia_moon

this happened to me. I forgave him for 3 occasions i found him talking to other girls, then about 6 months after, he slept with a girl whilst on holiday. That was the end of that.

I believe in second chances, but don't get caught in it like I did i should have left the second time he did it, but I stayed and convinced myself he would change. They wont its a sad truth but yeah, all i did was waste a lot of time.

Reply 3

pfm

You deserve better than that.

What kind of a relationship is it if you don't feel you can trust him 100%? It must be so exhausting to have it playing on your mind. What would you be saying to your friends if they were in a similar situation? I don't think you'd be telling them to stay.

I know it's hard to let go after a long time together, but really trust is the most important factor in a relationship. He's betrayed that twice. You deserve to be treated with respect. I think deep down you know this isn't good for you, otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question.

If it isn't making you happy, don't hold on for the sake of it. It ruins you.

Reply 4

SophieSmall

Honestly? Yes.

My ex did similar things, I was an idiot for staying. Wasted a long time on that piece of dirt, you're wasting your time too. You know it, you just don't want to admit it.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

well he had a 2nd chance, and a 3rd chance... :/ doesnt look like he's going to change. Its upto you if you think you can trust him, without trust, there is nothing.

However if you do think its affecting you (the lack of trust/honesty from him) don't half leave then go back when he says he wont do it again. i know that sounds harsh but you will just put yourself through months of heartache going back and forth and the reason i say that is because if he is a bit loose with his commitments already, him knowing he can do it and you will just go back to him when he says he wont do it again will just make him do it even more.

Reply 6

grapes12

Im giving a guy a 3rd chance, and he literally just snapchatted me with pink curtains in the background. I haven't confronted him yet because I don't even feel angry enough to start an argument, just disaspointed. Ive been thinking about leaving for weeks, now I know I have to