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    I have depression and have done for the last couples of months, but the last two weeks it has got worse. I've suffered from depression in the past and have had trouble with it since the age of 13 (Im am 19 now) but I am going to try and receive help for this and I am going to the doctor in the next few days as a result of feeling like this as I have harmed myself and worse. I know I shouldn't and I'm going to get help for this.

    However, the only person to know about this is my boyfriend who I have been with for over a year, and he understands how I am feeling but obviously is upset and doesn't agree and is encouraging me to speak to someone. I love my boyfriend so much But I can't get it out of my head that this is all unfair on him, and that we should break up just so he doesn't have to put up with me over this and he would be better off without me? All he is concerned about is that I get better, and that a receive help, I've asked him whether he would end things over this, which he replied that he wouldn't as he wants to be with me and love me etc.

    I was was wondering is it wrong for me to stay with him, as me suffering from this effects him too? Does anyone have experience of being in a relationship with someone with mental health illnesses? also would someone end things with their partner if the partner had depression and why? Thank you
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    I have no experience of it but im 100% certain you'd hurt him more by breaking up than you could with years of illness. As long as you actually let him help you, he should be MUCH happier with you
    Didnt really answer your questions but hope it helps :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have depression and have done for the last couples of months, but the last two weeks it has got worse. I've suffered from depression in the past and have had trouble with it since the age of 13 (Im am 19 now) but I am going to try and receive help for this and I am going to the doctor in the next few days as a result of feeling like this as I have harmed myself and worse. I know I shouldn't and I'm going to get help for this.

    However, the only person to know about this is my boyfriend who I have been with for over a year, and he understands how I am feeling but obviously is upset and doesn't agree and is encouraging me to speak to someone. I love my boyfriend so much But I can't get it out of my head that this is all unfair on him, and that we should break up just so he doesn't have to put up with me over this and he would be better off without me? All he is concerned about is that I get better, and that a receive help, I've asked him whether he would end things over this, which he replied that he wouldn't as he wants to be with me and love me etc.

    I was was wondering is it wrong for me to stay with him, as me suffering from this effects him too? Does anyone have experience of being in a relationship with someone with mental health illnesses? also would someone end things with their partner if the partner had depression and why? Thank you
    I do to a certain extent, have a broadly similar situation to you though would be in your boyfriend's position.

    All I can say is that, when he says he loves you, he loves you. The way you feel is not your fault, and never has been and certainly never will be. You have to try and bear that in mind as much as possible. Your boyfriend knows, as I know myself, that, as he loves you to the moon and back, he couldn't possibly ever leave you as vulnerable as you must be feeling right now. This, of course isn't to say that he's staying with you because he feels sorry for you, nor that he sees himself as your carer. He's just on the lookout for you because he thinks you're cool and loves you.

    In situations like this, you have to put yourself first. This is easier said than done, but you must listen to your boyfriend, and it's good that you're getting help. You mustn't worry about how he feels, and however hard it may seem, you must trust that he loves you and wants to make sure you're okay, because he genuinely cares about you. Going to the doctor's, in this respect, is the right thing to do.

    Having said that, putting yourself first also means that you must decide what you feel comfortable with. It's not ****ing easy and, when my SO went to the doctor's she was terrified, but she came back out and has said that she's extremely glad she went. If you don't feel comfortable speaking to anyone, that's fine, it's okay. You will be nervous but it will be worth it. What you mustn't do is tell other people about your situation because you feel like you have to. This will only make things worse, and if anyone suggests that to you, and that is your feeling about it, try to be honest with them about it.

    Finally, let him realise that you won't ever just get better overnight. Recovering from depression and/or anxiety is a long and slow process. Don't expect anything too much of yourself, and make sure no one else does either.

    He desperately wants to be with you and love you. I know that sometimes it's very easy to get pulled into a spiral of anxiety where you feel like your depression is having an effect on him, and then you stress, and then you stress that your stressing is affecting him, and so on. It's tough, but you have to try and remember that he loves you and wants to make sure you're okay.

    I appreciate this is a total mess of a reply but I'm in quite a similar situation and I have a good idea of how it feels. I hope this has helped and PM if you want any more help
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    of course it isnt wrong of you to stay with him. love is unconditional, i d stay with my partner no matter what happened with our health so i would never end it for any reason and if someone ended it over a mental illness then they werent worth your time.
 
 
 
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