Autistic brother is so annoying.

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Anonymous #1
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You probably don't know how it feels if you don't have an autistic sibling.

1. He acts like a 2 year old, even though he's 8, screaming and throwing tantrums. Which is affecting my preparation for my A-level exams next week.

2. We can't even have nice foods in the house because it will make him hyper etc

3. I barely talk to my mother since she is busy dealing with his problems, as a result we argue often.

4. He doesn't show any love to anyone else except my mum, in his eyes we're just people who give him stuff whenever he wants it.

Any advice from people who have actually experienced this?
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Dancatpro
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You probably don't know how it feels if you don't have an autistic sibling.

1. He acts like a 2 year old, even though he's 8, screaming and throwing tantrums. Which is affecting my preparation for my A-level exams next week.

2. We can't even have nice foods in the house because it will make him hyper etc

3. I barely talk to my mother since she is busy dealing with his problems, as a result we argue often.

4. He doesn't show any love to anyone else except my mum, in his eyes we're just people who give him stuff whenever he wants it.

Any advice from people who have actually experienced this?
I am doing my A2's this year (I am an aspie myself (and proud)) and I have an autistic brother (more mild than yours by the look of it though).

Do you think he selected the "autistic" box when he was born?

No, of course not.

It's not his fault and he doesn't want to be like that either.

Please show some level of tolerance, this is nothing compared to people who are trying to be malicious in the adult world, so you'll have to suck it up and get on with it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dancatpro)
I am doing my A2's this year (I am an aspie myself (and proud)) and I have an autistic brother (more mild than yours by the look of it though).

Do you think he selected the "autistic" box when he was born?

No, of course not.

It's not his fault and he doesn't want to be like that either.

Please show some level of tolerance, this is nothing compared to people who are trying to be malicious in the adult world, so you'll have to suck it up and get on with it.
I never said I hated him for being autistic.

I didn't make this thread just to be critiqued for my opinion, there are many who feel the same way.

I just want some advice on how to deal with these problems, they're not things that I can just dismiss.
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shawn_o1
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You are not helping him by complaining about him. I am autistic myself and don't get me started on how many times I've been the fall guy among my family When I was younger. If you appreciate the fact that autistic people take a lot longer to learn manners then you may see him differently. [Auto complete on my phone is bonkers♥]
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Dancatpro
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Ok then I get you now.

1) Put on your headset/ earphones and work on your own in your room

2) This is bull****

"Lots of parents swear that a single hit of birthday cake holds the power to morph their well-behaved, polite youngster into a sticky hot mess that careens around a room while emitting eardrum-piercing shrieks. Anyone who has had the pleasure to attend a 5-year-old’s birthday party knows that the hypothesis sounds reasonable, except that science has found that it’s not true.Sugar doesn’t change kids’ behavior, a double-blind research study found way back in 1994. A sugary diet didn’t affect behavior or cognitive skills, the researchers report. Sugar does change one important thing, though: parents’ expectations. After hearing that their children had just consumed a big sugar fix, parents were more likely to say their child was hyperactive, even when the big sugar fix was a placebo, another study found.
Of course, there are plenty of good reasons not to feed your kids a bunch of sugar, but fear of a little crazed sugar monster isn’t one of them."

3) You need to work on your own, in your room

4) Not his fault
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
You are not helping him by complaining about him. I am autistic myself and don't get me started on how many times I've been the fall guy among my family When I was younger. If you appreciate the fact that autistic people take a lot longer to learn manners then you may see him differently. [Auto complete on my phone is bonkers♥]

Quite clearly you're not as severe as him. Are you not able to express love to no one else except your mother? Do you run around the house screaming, clapping, with music on full volume? Do you cause the people great emotional stress?

From what I can tell from the way you write, the answer is no.

Please show some compassion.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dancatpro)
Ok then I get you now.

1) Put on your headset/ earphones and work on your own in your room

2) This is bull****

"Lots of parents swear that a single hit of birthday cake holds the power to morph their well-behaved, polite youngster into a sticky hot mess that careens around a room while emitting eardrum-piercing shrieks. Anyone who has had the pleasure to attend a 5-year-old’s birthday party knows that the hypothesis sounds reasonable, except that science has found that it’s not true.Sugar doesn’t change kids’ behavior, a double-blind research study found way back in 1994. A sugary diet didn’t affect behavior or cognitive skills, the researchers report. Sugar does change one important thing, though: parents’ expectations. After hearing that their children had just consumed a big sugar fix, parents were more likely to say their child was hyperactive, even when the big sugar fix was a placebo, another study found.
Of course, there are plenty of good reasons not to feed your kids a bunch of sugar, but fear of a little crazed sugar monster isn’t one of them."

3) You need to work on your own, in your room

4) Not his fault
I don't need a paragraph on how food can affect someone. We've had a nutritionist tell us we can't eat certain foods, foods that we normally would eat.


I am not saying it is his fault, I want so help and advice on how to deal with the problems his condition causes. These problems quite clearly aren't going to go away overnight.
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Asolare
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Some of you are complete softies. There is no denying that those with mental difficulties CAN come across as irritating even if people know about their illness - you don't just magically avoid getting annoyed because you find out they are mentally ill?

All I can say to you OP is that you'll have to learn somehow to cope with it. You're only human so you will get stressed out by it, but you need to build tolerance and stop accepting that your brother won't have full control of himself.
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Dancatpro
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Quite clearly you're not as severe as him. Are you not able to express love to no one else except your mother? Do you run around the house screaming, clapping, with music on full volume? Do you cause the people great emotional stress?

From what I can tell from the way you write, the answer is no.

Please show some compassion.
Oh grow up dude.

You need to learn to tolerate things.

3 times a week I go to judo and spend 2 hours helping out an autistic kid.

When he is off the judo mat, he needs to be kept on a leash. When I am helping him he will stick his hands all around my body, run away, scream, cry, etc..

I do this by choice to help him have fun, you need to be a lot more tolerant
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thecatwithnohat
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I never said I hated him for being autistic.

I didn't make this thread just to be critiqued for my opinion, there are many who feel the same way.

I just want some advice on how to deal with these problems, they're not things that I can just dismiss.
You cannot 'deal' with these 'problems', you learn to live alongside your brother and support him. It may be difficult yes, but he didn't choose to be this way.
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ByronicHero
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Unfortunately I can't offer you any advice on how to change the nature of your relationship with your brother as you probably need to mature a fair amount more before you will be able to make any meaningful changes in that respect. I might be wrong but for now that is my conclusion. I might suggest spending more time away from the house: revise in the library and spend more time with friends. Soon you will be 18 and will have little excuse not to leave home if you don't enjoy being there.
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rhiifuu
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I have an Autistic sibling, my little brother

If you're struggling to revise, go to a library (it will probably be a lot quieter and less distractions) . I'm not sure how severe or mild your sibling is on the autistic spectrum. But, your brother must be frustrated with something if he is taking fits. It's better to get to the problem of that.

Your mum loves both of you, if you already don't know that. But, when you have an Autistic sibling depending on how severe of course they require a lot of attention, she is trying her best.

Finally, it's not his fault. Just be there for him and support him, just imagine being in his shoes. I hope not to offend anyone, or in case you think I'm bashing your opinion or your feelings.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Inexorably)
Some of you are complete softies. There is no denying that those with mental difficulties CAN come across as irritating even if people know about their illness - you don't just magically avoid getting annoyed because you find out they are mentally ill?

All I can say to you OP is that you'll have to learn somehow to cope with it. You're only human so you will get stressed out by it, but you need to build tolerance and stop accepting that your brother won't have full control of himself.
Thank you!

I think they may feel that I'm hating on all of those who have autism, which includes them as well. This is not what I am doing.

Again, thanks for the positive reply.
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godivaontherocks
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Although I do appreciate your distress, the others are right - you will need to figure out how to live with him over time. I've never had an autistic sibling, so I can't relate really. I had an autistic flatmate a few years ago who made life very difficult for a while (although it wasn't his intention) to the point where I found myself taking care of a 21 year old guy every single day though we were both university students. I'm sure it must be very difficult for both of you so best of luck really.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by thecatwithnohat)
You cannot 'deal' with these 'problems', you learn to live alongside your brother and support him. It may be difficult yes, but he didn't choose to be this way.
I realised I should have worded that more appropriately .


(Original post by rhiannonsweeney)
I have an Autistic sibling, my little brother

If you're struggling to revise, go to a library (it will probably be a lot quieter and less distractions) . I'm not sure how severe or mild your sibling is on the autistic spectrum. But, your brother must be frustrated with something if he is taking fits. It's better to get to the problem of that.

Your mum loves both of you, if you already don't know that. But, when you have an Autistic sibling depending on how severe of course they require a lot of attention, she is trying her best.

Finally, it's not his fault. Just be there for him and support him, just imagine being in his shoes. I hope not to offend anyone, or in case you think I'm bashing your opinion or your feelings.
Thank you
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hockham jaynsaw
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(Original post by rhiannonsweeney)
I have an Autistic sibling, my little brother

If you're struggling to revise, go to a library (it will probably be a lot quieter and less distractions) . I'm not sure how severe or mild your sibling is on the autistic spectrum. But, your brother must be frustrated with something if he is taking fits. It's better to get to the problem of that.

Your mum loves both of you, if you already don't know that. But, when you have an Autistic sibling depending on how severe of course they require a lot of attention, she is trying her best.

Finally, it's not his fault. I hope not to offend anyone, or in case you think I'm bashing your opinion or your feelings.
This is the answer.

I have an autistic brother that's 3 years younger than me. The best defence is to be out of the house. Do homework in a library, meet up with friends and go out. That way, when you're home, his more annoying behaviour isn't going to impede on your school work or socializing. Remember it's not his fault (most of the time, anyway -- my brother soon learned he could manipulate my mother by playing the 'it's not my fault' card :P -- we soon remembered he was a 8 year old/teenage boy.) I also noticed that when I started to treat him a little more grown up, made him feel like he was on my level, he settled down. I don't know why. Maybe others accidentally belittled him or maybe he took cues from people and behaved at that level... Whatever the reason, I found that being kind of nochalant towards the outbursts, and otherwise removing the hyperactive, screaming games we used to play from our lives (and replacing them with chilled out stuff instead) actually made a huge difference in his overall behaviour. Nobody wants to feel like an annoyance.
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MutoSiko
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(Original post by Dancatpro)
Oh grow up dude.

You need to learn to tolerate things.

3 times a week I go to judo and spend 2 hours helping out an autistic kid.

When he is off the judo mat, he needs to be kept on a leash. When I am helping him he will stick his hands all around my body, run away, scream, cry, etc..

I do this by choice to help him have fun, you need to be a lot more tolerant
Two hours isn't that long compared to 24 hours a day, everyday of the week, and if you wanted to, you could turn around and never go back and help.

To the original poster,

could you go to the library or work at school? I realize its a difficult situation for you, especially with important exams coming up but as others have said, he can't help how he acts, its part of who he is.
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Dancatpro
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(Original post by MutoSiko)
Two hours isn't that long compared to 24 hours a day, everyday of the week, and if you wanted to, you could turn around and never go back and help.

I have an autistic brother AS WELL AS THIS.........
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MutoSiko)
Two hours isn't that long compared to 24 hours a day, everyday of the week, and if you wanted to, you could turn around and never go back and help.

To the original poster,

could you go to the library or work at school? I realize its a difficult situation for you, especially with important exams coming up but as others have said, he can't help how he acts, its part of who he is.
I live quite far from anything. I think I'll have to make a greater effort in the future to do these things.
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hellokittymad
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You probably don't know how it feels if you don't have an autistic sibling.

1. He acts like a 2 year old, even though he's 8, screaming and throwing tantrums. Which is affecting my preparation for my A-level exams next week.

2. We can't even have nice foods in the house because it will make him hyper etc

3. I barely talk to my mother since she is busy dealing with his problems, as a result we argue often.

4. He doesn't show any love to anyone else except my mum, in his eyes we're just people who give him stuff whenever he wants it.

Any advice from people who have actually experienced this?
okay...
1) He has autism which means it is more than likely going to take him a little longer to mature than most people and he's also a boy and it's proven it takes them longer to mature than girls as it is. He isn't going to be having a tantrum all the time it could also be a meltdown which are out of someone with autism's control. If its an issue or the noise is an issue then make him a noise chart that shows him when he can be noisier other than that where headphones with music on or ear defenders and work in your bedroom, go out the house to the library or somewhere.

2) Define 'nice' because i can think of some perfectly nice foods that don't make people hyper.

3) Your mother is stressed more than likely at the end of her rope because she has a child with a different need who more than likely doesn't always know how express himself so she has to spend time trying work out what he wants, cut her some slack and maybe try to figure out what you can let go of yourself in order to make it easier on both of you if youre arguing over silly things such as who's going to do the dishes, the washing or where youre going let it go just keep calm and walk away if you feel yourself getting upset or stressed go do something calming.

4) you don't know that that is how he sees the world, autistic people are often quite empathetic we just dont know how to show it properly we learn by watching, he more than likely shows your mum love and affection because he knows how too and she's a safe person who reassures him and he may show love to you and others in different ways its not always going to be conventional true but he sees the world from a different perspective and you have to learn to appreciate that.

Im on the spectrum myself and my brother and sister are too Ive been in this position with A levels and now a degree.
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