Autistic brother is so annoying.

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EXO1998
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#61
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#61
I can sympathize with your struggles, as I do have brother who is on the low functioning end of the autistic spectrum, he too also exhibits similar behaviors such as pouring drinks down the sink etc, according to his logic, if it left out, it is no longer wanted therefore it should be thrown away. My brother likes the place to be cleared out, it bothers him because he feels its cluttered - maybe that's the same with your brother?

But I can also understand as an autistic person myself. Speaking from experience as an individual who is AUTISTIC and has to live with this neurological disorder, day in and day out. I completely acknowledge that autistic people can be extremely difficult to deal with, I acknowledge that I am difficult to deal with as I am prone to meltdowns and get easily upset when my routine is interrupted or if I am overwhelmed by stimuli, sensory overload = screaming tantrum in my case, unfortunately

The thing is, Autistic people generally struggle with connecting with people, we have difficulty reading social cues and understanding social nuances and this can be cause family members and those close to us great distress as they feel we ignore them and do not reciprocate. One thing, I need to make clear, is that we have a different perception of the world and this often leads to many misunderstandings or misinterpretations of our motives. We are often accused of being self centered, narcissistic or even wilder accusations of being borderline sociopathic - if I had a pound for every time lol. The reality is that we are fully capable of experiencing emotions just like anyone else, however due to the many issues with social cues, social skills etc, expressing these emotions and making them known to those around us is often a great difficulty for people like me - it doesn't necessarily mean your brother has no love for anyone, in fact I am sure he appreciates you and your mom's efforts to help him through the day.

The only advise I can really give is to find somewhere else to revise preferably somewhere far away from home, for instance a library or possibly staying after school to revise on the school premises instead of going home. At least you will have somewhere quiet and you will be far away from the chaos and the noise! There also services available for young people who have siblings with learning disabilities, I remember my mum forced me to go to this support group for people with disabled siblings as some kind of get away.. Maybe you could inquire about such services and find out if they are available. With the issue of drinks and food, maybe try hiding them and keeping them out of sight. I literally have a bag where I put my drinks to hide away from my brother.
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Anonymous #5
#62
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#62
From my experience with volunteering with people with autism there are a few main things that people don't often understand.

1) There's Asperger's / high functioning autism e.g. Can learn more quickly to adapt to functioning in society, are able to interact with others fairly well, are able to do well in school etc, but socially are a bit 'off' - as it takes them longer to learn social stuff, tend to be high anxiety and depression etc, but generally ones who will go off to uni etc.

2) Kanner's autism - low functioning, hyper or hypo sensory (either freak out and have meltdowns with any noise, light, smell, taste, touch that is too much for them as they 'over feel' everything - or hypo where they are sensory seeking - they typical thing is they flap their arms a lot, love those spinning toys, flashing lights etc) - they are below the communication barrier most of the time e.g. they have no interest in anything other than themselves, no intent to communicate to socialise, they are content in their own little world, they behave as they want when they want. They might be able to talk but only to indicate wants / or needs at the highest end of spectrum. It's a totally different thing.

3) some children who have been mismanaged by their parents and exhibit some of the less socially acceptable behaviours being classed as autistic, but if with a diagnostician, do not exhibit parts of the DSMV that would actually determine them as autistic - aka kids with no boundaries and rules that were not told no, rule the roost and parents want an 'excuse' to the behaviour - really more common than you'd expect, its scary.

Sounds like OP's brother is Kanner's and needs sensory stimulation... stimming behaviours include obsessions such as watching water swirl down the drain - eg. pouring drinks... it always is amazing to me that every kid I've met with Kanner's is obsessed with spinning - either themselves, toys in their hands, spinning lights, twirling pencils, spinning tops, any sort of repetitive motion really, roundabouts in the park etc because it stimulates the vestibular system (remember spinning in circles as a kid being fun? they don't seem to grow out of it)

a solution could be to give him a drinks bottle that looks like your one (already emptied) on the side to play with so you fill it with water and food dye to make it look the same, and he can pour away and everyone's happy.

Your mum needs to enforce better boundaries - autistic kids respond well to structure and routine e.g. visual timetables - the problem is if he's been in a habit of coming home, playing loud music, running around and yelling, this is his stimming and no one has stopped him, so in his world it's acceptable... but it your world its not.

Set up 'noisy time' so indicate to him 10 minutes of noisy time, 5 minutes left, 2 minutes left, 1 minute left - so the transition is less stressful too - some kids can't move from one activity to another well without a meltdown.

he will learn as he grows to self monitor a bit better but depending on severity, its more down to your poor mum and its hard work. she has to be super strict enforcing the rules and you need to help enforce them too. perhaps giving you a cupboard high up with your things in you could lock so your brother doesn't have access to it?

I hope it all went will with your exams.
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asdfgjhjkl
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#63
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And you're reply helped how? I mean do you think that the guy who made this selected the
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asdfgjhjkl
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#64
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(Original post by thecatwithnohat)
You cannot 'deal' with these 'problems', you learn to live alongside your brother and support him. It may be difficult yes, but he didn't choose to be this way.
Yes because he chose to have an autistic brother didnt he?
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by asdfgjhjkl)
And you're reply helped how? I mean do you think that the guy who made this selected the
And you bumped up a 2 year old thread just to say that?
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HELPALERT!
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#66
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Always! My little brother is a pain, but i SMASHED my exams! Don't let him get in your way of what you want to do because he thinks he gets what he wants. Be how you want to be, and Live how you want to live, because your life is yours. not anyone else's!
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Romanreborn707
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#67
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Whoa I think instead of dealing with it, you need to disobey everyone and find a way to escape for the sake of your happiness, nothing matters but your life, god designed your brother to be an obstacle (god made us in his image) your success, irnogre your brother and Break free, dude enjoy your life cuz u should not let him break u
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Romanreborn707
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#68
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(Original post by HELPALERT!)
Always! My little brother is a pain, but i SMASHED my exams! Don't let him get in your way of what you want to do because he thinks he gets what he wants. Be how you want to be, and Live how you want to live, because your life is yours. not anyone else's!
Thank u, all those other ppl who say support his brother are Breaking his life.
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Hl8504
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#69
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#69
I have an autisic brother. I’m 14. My got a holiday job and this ***** of a brother keeps racing around our house. We’re not poor but the house is quite small and god damn he’s annoying. I just want to leave.
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Hl8504
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#70
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I get it. People don’t understand: they’re like HEy it’s not their fault it’s true but it’s hard it’s really hard I’m 14 for gods sake i cry everytime he gets supspended because I’m scared. He’s violent drugged up and many more I just.. I don’t know..I get you it’s hard af
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Romanreborn707
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#71
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(Original post by thecatwithnohat)
You cannot 'deal' with these 'problems', you learn to live alongside your brother and support him. It may be difficult yes, but he didn't choose to be this way.
No, he needs to leave.
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Romanreborn707
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#72
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#72
(Original post by thecatwithnohat)
You cannot 'deal' with these 'problems', you learn to live alongside your brother and support him. It may be difficult yes, but he didn't choose to be this way.
No, he needs to leave.
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Martinezrr
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#73
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#73
I have a autistic brother but I’m always mad at him and I’m all ways being mean to him when he doesn’t deserve it....I wanna be a better sister but I always end up being mean to him he loves playing old games like the old version of donkey kong and old version of Mario which I don’t like but today I read a lot of How to Be A Better Sibling to A Autistic Brother and it really helped I’m going to try my hardest to be kinder and it’s really good to finally say how I feel!Everyone asks what’s autism and I say it a developmental disorder of variable severity that is characterized by difficulty in social interaction and communication and by restricted or repetitive patterns of thought and behavior and you shouldn’t not wanna be friends with him!Thx for reading this!
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Anonymous #6
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#74
(Original post by Anonymous)
I never said I hated him for being autistic.

I didn't make this thread just to be critiqued for my opinion, there are many who feel the same way.

I just want some advice on how to deal with these problems, they're not things that I can just dismiss.
I completely understand this and myself have felt the same way. How I dealt with it was talking to people outside of my mum and dad who were more sympathetic to me. I think with time it got easier to deal with and as he grew up it wasn’t as bad. Now we are really close and get on so well xx
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Deggs_14
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I don’t envy you.
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Sam Paul
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#76
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You probably don't know how it feels if you don't have an autistic sibling.

1. He acts like a 2 year old, even though he's 8, screaming and throwing tantrums. Which is affecting my preparation for my A-level exams next week.

2. We can't even have nice foods in the house because it will make him hyper etc

3. I barely talk to my mother since she is busy dealing with his problems, as a result we argue often.

4. He doesn't show any love to anyone else except my mum, in his eyes we're just people who give him stuff whenever he wants it.

Any advice from people who have actually experienced this?
I’m autistic and I understand what you have to do is stop babying him if he wants something make him work for it
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uDONT UNDERSTAND
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#77
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I've also got. an autistic brother but my brother is a lot worse he can't have any social media due to him not been able to keep his mouth shut he non stop swears at my mum.He refuses to get a wash he threatens to call the police on my mum even when she's done nothing wrong he once went to school saying she hit him even though she never even touched him.Its like his goal is to push us to the limit.its even worse because I get so frustrated with him and sometimes I wanna hit him (obvs don't due to his issues) he is just so aggravating then my mum never grounds him from any of his accessories where as when I lash out I'm grounded for ages I'm just so fed up of this selfish twat living with me and if you don't have a brother like this you will never understand!
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Fuego1
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#78
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Have your parents considered placing the autistic child into care? whether it's for 5 days a week and the child comes home for the weekend or a more permanent stay. I know it's a very difficult decision to make, but this is also another option if things become tougher
Last edited by Fuego1; 4 days ago
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SpacePatroFan189
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#79
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(Original post by Fuego1)
Have your parents considered placing the autistic child into care? whether it's for 5 days a week and the child comes home for the weekend or a more permanent stay. I know it's a very difficult decision to make, but this is also another option if things become tougher
This thread is 4 years old. Just sayin'...
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Fuego1
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#80
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(Original post by SpacePatroFan189)
This thread is 4 years old. Just sayin'...
still a relevant issue faced by many individuals. Just sayin'
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