Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

My parents think I'm a slut Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I've never got on with my mum, but it's never been this bad! We've been arguing a lot recently and yesterday she found condoms in my bag. I'd been camping with a few friends, but I hadn't even used them. I don't even know why I took them. My sex ed teacher use to always say that we should carry them just to be safe, so I did but now my family think I'm a sket. I've had sex before, when I was 14 actually, but since then I've only had it twice (I'm now 16) and 2/3 of the times it was with my old boyfriend. I dont have a boyfriend now though and my parents know that. My dad said I have no self respect and he has no idea how I turned out like this with such 'great' parents. My sister called me a slut and my mum came and threw some clothes in my room saying 'I don't know where these have been'. They've even cancelled my contract. I'm 16, why am I been punished for something that isn't even illegal!! They didn't even let me explain but I don't want to anyway, I'm not too bothered what they think of me. I just wanna get by until I can leave this stupid house but everytime I see them they shout abuse at me. I'm scared to even leave my room. Yesterday I stayed in bed all day, in fear of bumping into them. I need to revise today but all my revision is downstairs. I hate this and I don't know what to do. Sorry if this is really long and doesn't make sense, was typing fast!!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Surely your parents should be happy that you're being sensible and taking pre-cautions if you have sex, rather than taking the risk that you could catch an STI or have an unwanted pregnancy?

    Maybe just explain to them that at 16, it is legal for you to have sex and that if you do, you do take pre-cautions. I can understand if they don't what you have sex in their house but it doesn't give them the right to call you a slut or treat you like that!!


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    When I was your age I used to argue with my parents....although it wasn't constant....so instead of speaking to them wheb they were out I left a letter on their bed to explain everything I wanted to. This really seemed to help as they began to understand why I didn't feel like I could speak to them etc and now we get on so so well! Give it a go...what's the worst it can do?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #1
    #1

    what contract have they cancelled - phone?

    Sex at 16 may not be illegal but that doesn't mean parents are going to like it, they want to see their teenagers focusing on exams. They will also be concerned that having sex outside a committed relationship will jeopardise your chance of forming such a relationship in future.

    As your parents aren't listening to you write them a letter. Say you didn't have sex, they would not have found condoms if you'd used them, and that you didn't intend to use them. Tell them this fuss is threatening your future because it's getting in the way of your revision. Go and get your revision, then go back to your room. They will calm down, they are just worrying about you right now. Try to see it as a sign of their love and concern for you.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Got to pick up the pieces, go get your books and do some revision, try and get a dialogue going again. I don't like the sound of your parents behaviour but I also don't think sex should be high on the priority list for a 14-16yo.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe your parents think you went dogging in the woods with a group of strangers and that you had other condoms that did get used up?

    You should have said you needed them to trap bugs to eat or something but you didn't see any bugs where you went seriously why did you not think of this.

    But whatever you do DON't tell your parents you are pregnant that ONLY works in the films.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sophi12)
    Surely your parents should be happy that you're being sensible and taking pre-cautions if you have sex, rather than taking the risk that you could catch an STI or have an unwanted pregnancy?

    Maybe just explain to them that at 16, it is legal for you to have sex and that if you do, you do take pre-cautions. I can understand if they don't what you have sex in their house but it doesn't give them the right to call you a slut or treat you like that!!


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    You'd think. All my friends parents didn't react like this. Most of their parents bloody took them to get the pill. My sister leaves her pill all over the house on display and they don't care. She's older but still. They've always treated her better.

    I don't want to talk to them cause they'll just shout more abuse at me and it really hurts.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Kate2996)
    When I was your age I used to argue with my parents....although it wasn't constant....so instead of speaking to them wheb they were out I left a letter on their bed to explain everything I wanted to. This really seemed to help as they began to understand why I didn't feel like I could speak to them etc and now we get on so so well! Give it a go...what's the worst it can do?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I don't want to mend the relationship with my mum. It's gone on too long for a letter to solve. I just want to get on without them giving me dirty looks or shouting at me when they see me.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    what contract have they cancelled - phone?

    Sex at 16 may not be illegal but that doesn't mean parents are going to like it, they want to see their teenagers focusing on exams. They will also be concerned that having sex outside a committed relationship will jeopardise your chance of forming such a relationship in future.

    As your parents aren't listening to you write them a letter. Say you didn't have sex, they would not have found condoms if you'd used them, and that you didn't intend to use them. Tell them this fuss is threatening your future because it's getting in the way of your revision. Go and get your revision, then go back to your room. They will calm down, they are just worrying about you right now. Try to see it as a sign of their love and concern for you.
    My phone contract for a week!

    Yeah I understand that, but it still hurts when my parents don't even look at me without giving me a dirty look and saying I'm a mess. I revise for my exams too, not that they help. They don't care what I do unless it's something for them to shout at me for.

    I don't want to write a letter because I don't think I need to explain myself. It's my private life and if I wanted to share it with them, I would of. I am going to revise and just try and ignore them. It may be a sign of my dads love, but my mums never liked me. I hate her so much.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by awkwardshortguy)
    Maybe your parents think you went dogging in the woods with a group of strangers and that you had other condoms that did get used up?

    You should have said you needed them to trap bugs to eat or something but you didn't see any bugs where you went seriously why did you not think of this.

    But whatever you do DON't tell your parents you are pregnant that ONLY works in the films.
    Yeah probably, cause I'm such the screw up child.
    Wasn't cleaver enough obviously!
    Oh and I know. I think they would literally kill me if I told them that.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    3
    LOOOL don't think you should have popped your cherry at 14, now that's ​illegal. :innocent:
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by thecatwithnohat)
    LOOOL don't think you should have popped your cherry at 14, now that's ​illegal. :innocent:
    Yeah I'm aware of the law. I know people 'don't think I should have popped my cherry at 14' but I did. I don't regret it either.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zarek)
    Got to pick up the pieces, go get your books and do some revision, try and get a dialogue going again. I don't like the sound of your parents behaviour but I also don't think sex should be high on the priority list for a 14-16yo.
    Yeah I'm just going to revise and ignore them. I know it shouldn't, but it happened.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DeadGirlsDance)
    People are always going to make assumptions.
    I know they are. I hear them daily. I've learnt to stop caring what strangers think though.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sophi12)
    Surely your parents should be happy that you're being sensible and taking pre-cautions if you have sex, rather than taking the risk that you could catch an STI or have an unwanted pregnancy?

    Maybe just explain to them that at 16, it is legal for you to have sex and that if you do, you do take pre-cautions. I can understand if they don't what you have sex in their house but it doesn't give them the right to call you a slut or treat you like that!!


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    It sounds like they have treated her with disapproval, which is fairly within their rights as parents I think.

    To tell the truth, I would probably react the same way if it was actually my daughter and I found condoms (multiple) in her bag apropos of nothing. Rational or otherwise, I can understand the parents' reaction.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    so if you had sex at 14 that is against the law but at the same time its your decision. if youve had sex at 16 legally, with protection i can understand why they'd be upset, my mum is the exact same with me ( I'm not allowed round my boyfriends house anymore because i sat on his lap lol ) so its probably that they're just trying to protect you, but you can't take back that youve done it now and if it was completely your decision you need to respect that. they probably just think you're growing up too fast so even though it doesn't seem great they probably are just trying to think of whats the best for you, i forget the sometimes when me and mum argue, which is a lot. So you just gotta let them say all the nasty things they're gonna say and focus on your work, because right now your exams are more important than pointless arguing. besides only two more years till you can move out
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by deadgirlsdance)
    you had sex at 14? I'm not surprised they think that.
    by looking at your picture my assumption is that your a sket?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Aren't there more serious things to be focusing on, rather than carrying condoms just in case you feel like banging someone?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DeadGirlsDance)
    You had sex at 14? I'm not surprised they think that.

    What's wrong with having sex at 14? Slut shaming a 16 year old girl when you're a 20 something year old woman yourself is more reprehensible in my eyes.

    What is a ripe age to engage in sexual activities?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Daenerys...)
    What's wrong with having sex at 14? Slut shaming a 16 year old girl when you're a 20 something year old woman yourself is more reprehensible in my eyes.

    What is a ripe age to engage in sexual activities?
    totally agreed
 
 
 
Updated: May 10, 2015
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
How are you feeling about GCSE Results Day?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.