Teacher student relationship...Is this legal?

I am 17 and attend sixth form. My boyfriend, who I have been in a relationship with for about 3 years is 18 years old. He attends the same sixth form. He got a job at the sixth form, which involves ensuring the well-being of students in all aspects of college life (but he's not a teacher). Upon applying for the job, the college staff emphasised that he cannot communicate with or form relationships with students outside of college time. He hasn't started the job yet as he's still a student but already he does not make physical contact with me in public anymore. We have both deleted our relationship statuses and photos of each other on social media. This isn't fair, I don't want to be kept a secret and I feel like our relationship is doomed. Is it really illegal for us to be together? What should we do? :confused:

Reply 1

bownessie

19

I would just tell them tbh. You've had the relationship for 3 years foe oetes sake. If needs be he should find another job

Reply 2

Zarek

21

I think this situation would sensibly be discussed with his employer. For obvious and good reasons there needs to be strict rules on this. But I would hope this situation could be acceptable providing you agree to be discrete and keep your relationship outside school. In any events I guess the situation will resolve itself soon when you leave.

Reply 3

unprinted

19

It looks like it is against the college's policies. That's up to them.

Legally, in England and Wales you're looking at the Sexual Offences Act 2003, sections 16-24. These criminalise sexual activity involving people aged 18+ with people aged 16 and 17 when they are in a 'position of trust' over them. The particularly relevant bit is s24, "Sexual relationships which pre-date position of trust", which says that if A is legally having a sexual relationship with B (i.e. B is at least 16, for example) immediately before the position of trust arose, it can continue.

So as long as the relationship continues until he starts work, he would be behaving legally (as would you).

(If he were working there now, another exemption would also apply: s21 (5) ".. if A looks after persons under 18 who are receiving education at an educational institution and B is receiving, and A is not receiving, education at that institution".)

It can't come as a shock to the college that if you employ 18 year old ex-students, some of them are in relationships with people who are still there. In his position, I'd disclose the pre-existing relationship, point to the 'not in public' stuff you've mentioned, and see what they say.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 4

unprinted

19

Original post by Anonymous

Upon applying for the job, the college staff emphasised that he cannot communicate with or form relationships with students outside of college time.

Being picky, he won't be 'forming' a relationship with you, he's already in one...

Reply 5

mellowman

4

Original post by Anonymous

I am 17 and attend sixth form. My boyfriend, who I have been in a relationship with for about 3 years is 18 years old. He attends the same sixth form. He got a job at the sixth form, which involves ensuring the well-being of students in all aspects of college life (but he's not a teacher). Upon applying for the job, the college staff emphasised that he cannot communicate with or form relationships with students outside of college time. He hasn't started the job yet as he's still a student but already he does not make physical contact with me in public anymore. We have both deleted our relationship statuses and photos of each other on social media. This isn't fair, I don't want to be kept a secret and I feel like our relationship is doomed. Is it really illegal for us to be together? What should we do? :confused:

Tell him you're issues and that you want more from him. Don't feel the need to push him out (or let him push you out) because of a dumb "rule". The best way to work through a relationship is together.

Reply 6

username1148663

21

Original post by Anonymous

I am 17 and attend sixth form. My boyfriend, who I have been in a relationship with for about 3 years is 18 years old. He attends the same sixth form. He got a job at the sixth form, which involves ensuring the well-being of students in all aspects of college life (but he's not a teacher). Upon applying for the job, the college staff emphasised that he cannot communicate with or form relationships with students outside of college time. He hasn't started the job yet as he's still a student but already he does not make physical contact with me in public anymore. We have both deleted our relationship statuses and photos of each other on social media. This isn't fair, I don't want to be kept a secret and I feel like our relationship is doomed. Is it really illegal for us to be together? What should we do? :confused:

The teacher can lose his job.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

Vikingninja

21

Why are you necroing a 45 year old (or whatever this sites age is) thread?

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 8

Maker

20

Let the college know about your relationship. Its a lot better to deal with any objections from the college before he starts his job than the college finding out after he starts and the college finding out and sacking him over it. The college will find out because everyone at the college knows already and gossip will get to the college staff so its hardly a secret.

If he was sacked over this issue, it could stop him getting other jobs but if he was told he could not start the job because of his relationship with you, all he has to do is find another job.

Reply 9

troubadour.

19

This thread is several months old; please stop replying to it.

Teacher student relationship...Is this legal?

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